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Brut Quotes

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Few PET Peeves

Having eight animals in the house at the same time entitles me to have some pet peeves and a reason to vent.  Six dogs and two cats is enough some days to send me over the top.  Well, I've had all I can take and I'm laying down the law.  And it's about time!

1.  Any dog that chews on another remote will be sentenced to becoming our personal slave for manually turning the TV on and off, changing channels and adjusting the volume to our desire.  All of this will be done without the luxury of treats.  That's right.  You heard me.   And for your information, Fiona and Blaze  the 'remote fairy' does not exist!



2.  For any dog going in or out you will all be entering and exiting at the same time.  I am not your personal door person for this intermittent parade that you continue to put on.  If I have to miss one more twist on Law and Order because of getting up and down to let you in or out individually you will all be tied together on one line.  That way you can all go out and come in at the same time.  And we all know, nobody wants to be THAT close to Brut!


3.  The fact that we have a dirt yard does not give you permission to roll in as much dirt as possible to bring in and leave on my bed.  That's right MY bed.  Are you back talking me Zappa?  The fact that the bed is left unmade all day isn't the issue!  Opposable thumbs or not the next one who showers my bed with dirt will learn how to use hand held vacuum to clean my bed every night.  ALONG with washing all your pack mates paws and will receive a BATH!  And here's the real kicker,  A BATH, WITH THE USE OF THE HAIR DRYER!!  You have escaped this horror of machines many times, but this time you will be blasted!!

And this is only the beginning...HeHeHeHe

  

20 comments:

Catalina said...

Hee hee hee! I love the one about all going out at once.

Rumtruffle said...

This is such a funny post, you have really made me smile and laugh. We dont have any pets at the moment but when the time is right we intend to have a dog, it would appear I have so much to look forward to!!
Helen x

♥♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥♥ said...

Ha ha - very well done - too funny. We hear complaints about the second one all the time. We don't get to chew remotes or any of the humans things, but Ciara and TD do a pretty good job of bringing the dirt inside - why not, don't we need dirt inside too?

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

jet said...

hahah when bender stays with my parents he makes them get up and down to let him in and out constantly because they think he has a sad looking face and feel sorry for him!

Levi Mac said...

BOL!!!! Too funny! Better listen guys...she means business and nobody wants a bath!

houndstooth said...

Ha ha ha! I think they're probably blowing you raspberries behind your back!

giantspeckledchihuahua said...

Pawrents, UNITE!

for all the good it will do!

Happy, Waggin' Tails, FUREVER!
Stumpy and me

Pup Fan said...

I'm liking these rules!

Barbara said...

From the dogs:

1. Remotes are tasty. How come you don't chew on them?

2. Two words: Dog door. They make them for sliders.

3. I know some dogs (see poster) that live in a yard that is dirt AND sand. If you think dirt in your bed is bad, try sand! We like dirt; it makes us feel like wolves.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Budrow Wilson Spain said...

I am scarred.....Lets hope my two-legger doesn't read this as my cushy life could come to a bitter screeching halt!!

Brian said...

Wow, where does the time go? April Fool's Day already!!!

onepersonsview said...

Tails between the legs, one and all! And get off the bed! :)

Pamela said...

If you figure out how to keep the dogs from making you get up over and over to let them out, please let me know. I need to teach Honey.

BTW, how did the critters respond when you told them what you were writing? They just wagged and grinned at you, didn't they?

The Doggy Blogger said...

Hilarious post! Cute pictures and I love that you drew in the rope to tie the dogs together. Ha ha! I'm following you from The Doggy Blogger. Hope to see you on my site!

The Doggy Blogger said...

I also love that the abused dogs were able to come back to you. How did that happen? Did you find out and take them back? So glad they now have a loving home.

Foley Monster and Pocket said...

I must inform you that I am Foley Monster, attorney at paws, and I am representing your dogs for is clearly entrapment. The only items that should be within a dogs mouth is a dogs toy. If you leave items near the dogs mouth the it is not their fault they mistake the remote for a toy. Also, it is funny that you leave the remote at a height we can get to it but not a door handle. I think the true reason is that you want to control who is going in and out of your house. And finally, God made dirt and us close to the ground with no good way to scratch out backs. If your behavior continues I may have to write a writ.

cherie said...

Let me know how your rules work out. I just duck taped the back of our leather chair that two of our "darlings" found as a great chew toy.
Hilarious post!

sisko said...

Ha, Sisko use to like the cable remote too. He chewed it to oblivion. My wife took it to the cable service store and they had pity on her and gave her a new on.

Lavi said...

I can only imagine the mischief 6 dogs create, I can barely handle one. Just as I'm writing this, one of my sleeves is getting ruined.

I like the punishment plans, but I have a bad feeling that they'll find ways to sneak out of their chores. Good luck though!

Peanut said...

Omg.... the remote....