I remember when Alex died, I was in a state of shock and relief for the first month. When the tears hit, they didn't stop and will still surface.
The first morning he was gone, Brut (then 8 mos. old) was lying in Alex's spot in front of the sliding door. And my heart stopped.
I remember at roll call, almost calling out his name, every night. To this day when rounding up the troops, Alex's name will still pop out.
For months I would start to step over "Alex" and his spot.
Every time I was out, I would rush home and think, "I hope Alex is OK," and then burst into tears.
I can't tell you how many times I would be missing Alex and wished Brut was more like him.
The silence and space was painful to get used to without Alex's booming voice and large presence.
I remembering kneeling on his grave and burying my face in the dirt, sobbing that I didn't know how I was going to go on without him. It was the closest I could get to him.
And I remember Alex when I have been touched by others losses and grieve a little more for this wonderful, beautiful dog who graced my life in so many ways.
Current blog look inspired by, dedicated to, and in memory of Brut. The studded star of the 24 Paws of Love.