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Brut Quotes

Brut Quotes

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Today's First Step

Being a stay-at-home dog mom, I don't have the structure of a job.  Nothing is set in stone and the dogs and I operate on a flexible schedule.

I don't know if it makes it better or worse after a dog dies to be home all the time.

All day is a constant reminder.  Every nook and cranny of the house holds some memory.  And with my every actions centered around the dogs, it becomes difficult to think of nothing else, but them.

It took me until 2pm to get out of my robe today.  Getting dressed seems like a big feat in between tears.  It seems to take a thousand steps to grasp the idea of getting up and putting on clothes.  But I did it.

The dogs help.  They tend to nudge me along.  They know when mommy gets dressed, it's time to go outside.  I've been struggling lately to go outside with them.  I'd rather curl up in a blanket and dream the world away.

The dogs have been in mourning as well.  Fiona seems to be taking Silver's death much harder than I would have thought.  We thought Zappa, being a Momma's Boy, would be having the harder time of the two of them.  Fiona practically slept on top of me last night and stays clinging to Mark and I.  Zappa acts more like a comforter for us and our tears.

I looked into Blaze's eyes today and burst into tears.  They are so close to the color of Silver's.

My second big step today...writing this down to post.  Mission accomplished.

3 comments:

Foley Monster, Pocket and River Song said...

I am so sorry to learn of Silver's passing. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

KB Bear said...

It is such a hard time for you. After my K died, I woke up each morning and told myself to just put one foot in front of the other, kinda like you taking a step at a time. When you love deeply, you grieve deeply - and you can't escape the process. Sending hugs.

Lynne Traceski said...

Hi there! MY Turbo "crossed over" on January 8th 2016.With the pain we opted for morphine but when euthenasia by the vet came into the room as a major "cure"for Turbo's old age affliction I insisted that they dose me as well.Yes I told the vet I will go with him to wherever the stuff may take us .Rainbow bridge?Heaven?Everlasting life in heaven?After 5 prolongs telling the vet we need more time together with my nose enmeshed with Turbos snout the pink stuff finally took me to a reality of a beagle in a box and two family members with a shovel.My only premise for living was to be my beagle waiting for me to return to him after I am done on this heart wrenching earth plane.Best of everything to come but what will fill your void? ZERO.NEMO.NOTHING.You will always long for your dog on this earth I know this after a miserable year.The pain stays.Part of my heart died with TURBO.