I did not expect to lose Silver so quickly after losing Brut. Silver's gene's were strong on her dad's side and I really thought she had a good 3 or 4 more years to live. Sometimes I'm still in shock over her death from 10 months ago. Sometimes it is still hard to believe Silver isn't here, her presence is still strong. I feel her at my side throughout the day and night.
Morning times are my mourning times. It is when the sadness spills all through my body and I don't know how I am going to go on that day. I am never alone during these crying spells though, and it is Silver's kids that keep me going knowing that their love and hope will carry me through another day without their mother.
I have been grieving for almost a year now and Silver's anniversary is in January. Silver is the dog we've had the longest. Maybe that's why it feels like she is always here and never really left. Her body may have died, but her spirit is strong with me. Maybe that is why I've never written about her death on her page. I just can't bring myself to do it.
I miss my girl. This time last year we knew she had cancer and we didn't know how long she had. My time was spent taking care of her until the end. I miss my little Momma Dog Silver. I miss her mothering intuition and how she always took care of me. Her perfect timing, her all knowing and the touch of her velvety fur. She was so awesome like that.
I'm glad she still here. I don't feel so alone with her by my side.