I did not expect to lose Silver so quickly after losing Brut. Silver's gene's were strong on her dad's side and I really thought she had a good 3 or 4 more years to live. Sometimes I'm still in shock over her death from 10 months ago. Sometimes it is still hard to believe Silver isn't here, her presence is still strong. I feel her at my side throughout the day and night.
Morning times are my mourning times. It is when the sadness spills all through my body and I don't know how I am going to go on that day. I am never alone during these crying spells though, and it is Silver's kids that keep me going knowing that their love and hope will carry me through another day without their mother.
I have been grieving for almost a year now and Silver's anniversary is in January. Silver is the dog we've had the longest. Maybe that's why it feels like she is always here and never really left. Her body may have died, but her spirit is strong with me. Maybe that is why I've never written about her death on her page. I just can't bring myself to do it.
I miss my girl. This time last year we knew she had cancer and we didn't know how long she had. My time was spent taking care of her until the end. I miss my little Momma Dog Silver. I miss her mothering intuition and how she always took care of me. Her perfect timing, her all knowing and the touch of her velvety fur. She was so awesome like that.
I'm glad she still here. I don't feel so alone with her by my side.
4 comments:
"Morning is my mourning time" Gosh do I understand those words ...I am the same way, though also sometimes very late at night.
How lovely that you still feel Silver with you. Her beautiful mom and dog spirit lives on.
Obviously she hasn't left your side. I hope that gives you some comfort.
Unfortunately, grief is the price we pay for tremendous love.
On a happier note--I often hear how hard it is to take pictures of black dogs. But your pics of Silver are stunning. You captured the velvety coat just perfectly. How wonderful that you have such beautiful depictions of her.
Morning is my mourning time too. I'm glad that you have Silver's offspring to keep her spirit alive and to comfort you.
A really beautiful post that has touched my heart and soul as I mourn the loss of one of our dogs from this past September, and as my heart prepares for the one I know is to come much too soon. But how special to have the connection of Silver's kids to give you that continued bond and connection. She truly is still with you.
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