It's been 10 weeks today that we buried Silver. It seems like it was so, so long ago. Like eons of time have past. Sometimes it seems so long that I wonder if she was ever really here. I can't explain how it feels but it is an eerie feeling. I see and feel all of the aftereffects of her death, the dogs, the cats all still stressing now that the mortar of the family is gone, but I don't feel her. I don't feel my Silver. She has just vanished somehow, someway, in ways I don't understand. It leaves me so empty and open and vulnerable. I feel like I can't reach her and will never be able to do so again.
Grave sadness that kills the soul. I've lost my girl. My Silver.
This is how I feel:
Our unique experience and journey of the unconditional love of our two packs of dogs. A healing love that binds us all together and makes them more than just dogs. They are family.
You've had such big losses recently. I'm so sorry that you're feeling so low. I hate to say it - but it's part of the process of adapting to a huge loss. Hang in there. Many of us are thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you KB, I know you understand.
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