Giving Brut a Chance

I've never felt so lost and relieved at the same time.  It is an odd combination.

I have not had the words to write much and that too is strange for me.

If you've noticed, hubby, Mark has been doing all the updates on Brut.

It is definetly like being caught between a rock and a hard spot.

Brut was down this past Tuesday (5-12-15) with low blood pressure and probably bleeding internally.  For the first time since all this started with his eye, he looked to be in some pain.  It was a scary night as I cried and told him everything he means to me and how much I love him.  Not knowing if this was the time he was going to bleed out for good.  I did everything to make him comfortable.  He was still eating and drinking, which was a good sign.  I stayed up all night with him.  (I couldn't sleep anyways)  And I prayed this couldn't be it.  Not yet.  He still has so much life in him God.  Please not today.

And Wednesday morning, he bounced back like nothing had happened.  Just like that.  He was my Brut again.  Maybe not 100%, but very close.  He been great Thursday and Friday as well.  Maybe a little slower at times, but still looking good.

And I'm so relieved.  And I've cried tears of joy that he's still with us and I've cried tears of sadness that this is going to happen again and again.  This roller coaster ride.

We don't know if he's a canidate for surgery.  It looks to be a good size risk.  We still have to make

more inquiries and ask more questions.  Like there would probably have to be a blood transfusion (because of internal bleeding) and not all vet clinics are equipped to do that.  And we still have to deal with his high blood pressure issues.

And every movement Brut makes is critical not to start bleeding internally again.  Plus counter acting his excitement level and hypertension.  His aggression has popped back up slightly and we have to keep that at bay.

And with our van being totalled, it makes it hard to transport him in our single cab beat up truck, except maybe to our local vet whose a couple blocks away.

And when you start adding up the odds agaisnt us, it seems hopeless.  So utterly hopeless.

That is until I saw the comments left by readers and strangers wishing us well and Brut healing.

Prayers, good thoughts, POTP, and hugs. So many hugs.  It brought my spirit back up.  And gave me hope.

I didn't know if I had any left.  Until I saw your comments and donations.

Maybe just maybe the surgery could be done and we'd have our Brut back.

Mr. Orinery himself.  

Maybe there is a chance.

Thank you for giving me that chance again.

I can't thank everyone enough.

God bless you.

To learn more about Brut's diagnosis, you can read the ER trip to explain.

Silver's Deep Healing Prayer

Dear God,

It is me again, Silver and I want to thank you for my surgery going so well.  I didn't have to "go under" so I didn't get the sickies and while I am grateful that everything went so good, I have a few, what should I call them...complaints concerns. 

Do you know what Mom did to me?  First, she put me on a collar and leash and didn't even take me for a walk except in the backyard.  What in the world is that about?  I'm almost 11 years old and she's treating me like a puppy who doesn't know how pee outside.  I am a mother too you know, I'm pretty sure I can pee and poop all by myself.  So instead I made her worry and held it in for as long as possible!

Next she got me in this ridiculous outfit to wear when my bandage came off.  Mom thinks she pretty brilliant keeping my boo-boos cover with the long sleeves of one of grubby shirts.  Not even a nice one at that.  I don't think she even cares that it is two sizes too big, she just pulled the ends together and tied it with a rubber band.  So now I've got this flipping shirt tail sitting on my back.  Oh, the humiliation!

If that isn't bad enough she's making me eat at the kiddie table with Zappa and Fiona.  Now that's just down out rude!!  Brut and I enjoy our quiet meals together without the kids.  How long is this going to last?

And then to top everything I have to sleep with the kids too at night.  Which isn't the worse of it because I get to sleep in my favorite den under the bed, but still, a grown mother sleeping with her two rug rats every night.  I love them and all, but this is too much!! 

So my biggest prayer is to help me heal as fast as possible so that I can get my life back.

Thanks for listening God,
Love,

Silver