Coming full circle with Luigi

Luigi

I stopped feeding the wild birds when our duck, Luigi, passed from eating too many sunflower seeds.  I blamed the birds for killing Luigi.  It wasn't their fault, but I couldn't help it.  Three years later, (last summer) I made a couple of bird feeders and began feeding the wild birds again.  It was such a joy.  My love for birds never stopped, just took a hiatus.  Than about mid-winter the squirrels had taken over the feeders and we had a slick coat of ice all over the backyard, so I quit feeding the squirrels for fear the dogs would hurt themselves chasing the critters on the ice.

Blue jay on my homemade bird feeder

That's when the healing box opened up and I talked with Luigi.  I needed him to forgive me, so I could forgive myself about his death.and he did.  So I was able to forgive myself. 

That was this past spring.  I still couldn't bring myself to feed the birds.  It took me seven months and a lot of back and forth deciding.  My hubby, Mark, also aided to my dilemma.  He found a couple of bird feeders in the dumpster, both like brand new and brought them home, not knowing my emotional turmoil to use them or not.

Nuthatch

Finally, one day I gave in.  Filled the feeders, hung them up and let God take over.  And He did.  I suddenly had a bird haven, with squirrels and chipmunks.  Birds flying all over the place, whizzing by my head, in front and back of me.  This is when it occurred to me, that this is what Luigi would have wanted for me.  A yard full of birds for me to enjoy, harnessing that deep love I have always had for our feathered friends.  I would even call it Luigi's legacy for me.  He gave me a deeper understanding of birds and the relationship that is possible with them.  It is a wonderful, freeing feeling and that's all Luigi ever wanted for me.  I am so blessed to have had him in my life.

As stunning as

It has been a long time since I've seen a dog as stunning as Brut, until we saw a Malamute/maybe Husky male that was strutting his stuff the other day and man, was he a beauty.

He was rather tall, with silvery-white coat, highlighted with black markings around his face, back and tail.  Absolutely stunning.

He didn't walk, but strutted with every step.  He had a confidence and a pride about him that was so much like Brut.  He had it all.

That's the kind of dog I want.  That's the dog I miss.

I didn't think I could get another Husky/Malamute dog again. 

I felt Brut was my "ultimate."  

And I didn't want another Husky/Malamute like Brut.  I have struggled looking at any Northern breeds since losing Brut. 

I've actually been considering a different breed of dog to get when that times comes but honestly, everything about this dog I saw made me fall in love all over again with a Malamute/ Husky dog.  

Like Brut whispering in my ear.

And when the time is right, I will fall in love all over again with Brut in my heart.  

Wordless Wednesday-Scrub-a-dub

My little Blaze after a bath!

Close Encounter of the Dog Kind

For those of you new to the 24 Paws of Love we have four dogs that are made up into two packs each in pairs. They each their own yards and their own sides of the house, with only a door between them.  We call this the separation door, which we must always keep shut because the pairs don't get along with each other.  We've had a handful of fights caused by our own carelessness of not making sure the door is shut all the way when going back and forth between the packs.  

This was one of those times... 

Zappa was barking and pawed at the door that separates the two packs.  Chance headed towards the door from the other side.  I noticed that Zappa's bark was coming through rather clear.  As I ran to the door, Zappa and Chance were slowly backing up away from the door.  It had been pushed about a foot open.  I slammed it shut, everyone barking in fear of what could have happened.  So close.  So very close.

Although I was impressed that both Zappa and Chance backed away at the same time.  Neither really wanted a confrontation.  And since those two have never fought when faced with each other they had no intentions of doing so now.  Thank goodness Fiona was behind Zappa and a little slower to the action, or she would have burst through and started a fight.  

Whew!

Talk about being grateful!!

Somebody up there loves us

.

So is the life of living with two packs of dogs.

Wordless Wednesday- The Name Says it All!

Somebody finally gets me!

Silver- Missing my girl

Silver:  A year and a half gone exactly today.

Missing her velvety coat

Her intensity

Her white muzzle against the snow

Her solid blackness with any background

The way she always slept

I miss everything about Silver.

And then some...

Fiona and her liver

It started out as a urine check for Fiona because I thought she might have a bladder infection.  She had been peeing more and drinking more water than usual.  She also would pee, then poop, then pee again, which I'd never seen her do before.  So hubby, Mark took in her urine sample and we waited for the call.

There was protein in her urine.  Quite possibly her kidneys.  We set up an appointment for a blood test the following week.

We took her in, had a full blood panel done and we got the results at the end of the visit.  Fiona's liver levels are all high.  Not sure exactly what that means, but it isn't good.  We were given liver supplements for Fiona to take for a month and then having levels rechecked.  If her liver levels go back down it is her liver malfunctioning and probably due to old age.  If her levels don't change, then there is something else going on that we will have to look into further.

We are a little scared, but hopeful.  Maybe it won't be as bad as we fear.

Any prayers or well wishes would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

WoveN

I always have a difficult time when I'm trying to express my love on paper for our four dogs, Chance, Blaze, Zappa and Fiona.  It is hard for me to put my feelings into words, which I normally don't have any trouble with doing.  I also find it hard to talk about the four "pups" without referencing Brut and Silver in some way.  The qualities of their mom and dad really shine through.  I don't know that I could talk about the "pups" behaviors and temperaments without bringing up Brut and Silver, being that these four are their kids.  They display so many qualities of their mom and dad and having lived with all of them, they have for the most part, become meshed together.  The way they think, feel and respond to us and each other, we have some how become a unit, even with the division of the two packs.  And without Brut here as the top dog, taking all the attention and energy, the four are on even ground.  A parallel playing field if you will.  These four are ALL alpha dogs in their packs.  Hubby, Mark and I are the top dogs now, without Brut, making it centered, with all of the rough edges smoothed out.  There is actually gravity with a solid anchor holding us with an even stronger connection and foundation.  Like Brut's true spirit in leadership has infused us together.  I would have never thought that Brut being gone, would make us so much stronger as two packs and a family as a whole.  Brut was a very powerful dog.  Physically, mentally and emotionally.  He just reverberated with strength.  Imagine the most important being in your family that everyone is drawn to and for good reason.  Now imagine them gone.  The void is enormous.  Your stomach falls to your knees feeling.  You can't grasp your breath.  Your whole life was center on that one being.  This whole blog started out because of Brut.  I have been lost for three years trying not to talk about him.  But I can't.  Brut is in every fiber and being of his kids.  They are excerpts of every personality that Brut had...and I can't just forget about him.  Brut and Silver's death balanced the scales of two extreme dogs.  And while it was both Brut and Silver's death that brought such harmony, it is the Brut in them that is the loudest.  As it should be.  I am living in phenomenon that is unfolding right before my eyes.  Every day.  I can't get over the equality that is between the four dogs currently after Brut stole the spotlight  when he was alive.  He ruled everything.

Brut's spirit has woven our family together, pulling it tight like a drawstring.  

It is comforting and mind blowing at the same time.  

That is just how Brut was.

And still is. ♥