Something Wagging Challenge-Boxer

I could write out a long in depth post about what lead to taking on this challenge with my competitor in question, but simply put; I've had resentments towards Boxer because he isn't my former cat, Sparky and Boxer has resentments, well, because he is a cat!

THIS IS NOT A 'NORMAL' CAT
I was completely disillusioned by Sparky and two previous cats (all whom have passed on) who were mellow, affectionate, and cool as cucumbers and I thought all cats were that way.  Then I got Boxer and suddenly I was dealing with this wild, obnoxious cat who demanded my attention and didn't care how he got it.  And while I would like to blame his behavior on the dogs, he has always been this way.  More dogs just gives him more reasons to be ruthless.

Just let her try to sit down!!

MY LAP WAS OUR BATTLEGROUND
Every night the war would begin with this 16 pound cat, who according to the vet was not overweight, where we would have our battle of wills.  He would stand on my lap, I mean just stand there on my tired-end-of-the-day-legs like dead weight.    Then he would slowly turn around, doing his 'claw dance,' butt in my face all the while jerking and knocking me with head butts that had the force of a miniature ram.  I in turn would hide my arms behind my back, or try to get him to lay down, until my sensitive nerves couldn't take it anymore and I would push him off my lap.  Or I would try to pet him, hoping to calm him and it would only rile him up more.  I almost dreaded our nightly visit and these battles only fueled my angry feelings towards him more.

SPARKY NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS
And there was my struggle.  I'd missed my heart cat so much, I just couldn't accept that Boxer was nothing like him.  I hadn't even realized that I'd had built up these resentments towards Boxer because he wasn't Sparky.  A few months ago I became aware of how much these thoughts and feelings were hurting our relationship and that I needed to change the course we were taking. 

Look deep inside...or else

THE HEALING PROCESS BEGAN
I began by letting go of Sparky and focusing on Boxer.  I started practicing more patience and kindness with Boxer, but we were still struggling with his demands for affection. So when Pamela's Challenge came along, I seized the opportunity to improve our lap time by using simple "ignore and reward" technique.  When he was quiet on my lap and/or being gentle, I would pet him.  When he got too pushy, I hid my hands.  It was simple. And it worked.  Not only did our lap time improve, but our over all relationship took a dramatic turn. We are not having those large uproars on my lap every night.  Now, we are enjoying each others company and I am beginning to see Boxer for more of who he is, rather than who he is not.

I am sure I am not alone when grieving for another animal to misplace those hopes onto a new one.  Boxer was never going to be Sparky and I still missed Sparky more because of it.  Their personalities are almost bipolar to each other and it has been difficult letting go of that, not to mention that these differences created a situation with a type of cat, I'd never dealt with before.  It was frustrating because I have discovered I don't know cats like I do dogs and I didn't know what to do.

Pamela's challenge gave me a way to acknowledge what I started with Boxer and our healing process and helped me to focus on one aspect of our relationship-the time on my lap.  If I accomplish nothing else with Boxer except this, I have conquered everything.  Our evenings together are almost like heaven now and I'm finding myself falling in love with that little booger all over again.      

   

Yep!  I got her back.

I mean seriously, who can resist all this mancat savvy!!

A special thanks to Pamela and her Something Wagging Challenge that gave Boxer and I what we had been missing.  Our relationship.

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And the Saturday Blog Hop!!  Hosted by Life with Dogs, The Two Cavaliers and Confessions of the Plume.

Theory Evolution-My Personal Thoughts

Many of us grew up with the dominance theories for training dogs.  That was all there was and it was all about controlling the animal to behave.  For some reason while taking care of the duck today (of all animals), I began to take in account the impact these practices would have had on my dogs if I had continued it.  Like many, I started using the same techniques with my first dog and carried them on to Silver.  It was when I got Brut, my problematic dog when I began searching for something different and was introduced to clicker training and the entire theory of positive reinforcement.  For some reason, it struck me suddenly how these evolving  theories have changed everything I do with my dogs.  From the way I think, to the way I react and I found myself being washed over with gratitude. Not only did I believe and understand them, but they coincided with my own beliefs and love for animals.  They gave me the freedom to explore further the emotional bonding to have a deeper relationship and a level of equality and a sense of well being with my dogs.  Something I always found conflicting with the "old school" ways.

While I use a wide variety of techniques and training skills, they are based on positive reinforcement to some degree or another.  I have even adapted some of those "old school" techniques for use with positive reinforcement under special circumstances and have had great results.

I have found that it isn't just a theory or an idea, but more of a way of life that not only pertains to my dogs, but myself as well.  It is more than just giving your dog a treat when they do a good or the right thing, but a sense of respect, communication, and bonding between two living beings.  It isn't just a set time that they have your undivided attention, but how we learn to respond to each other throughout the day that adds quality to both of our lives.  Being able to co-exist in a harmony and balance that I think many would agree was lacking some before if we look at how far dog training and theories have come.

I would personally like to thank the founders and believers who made those astonishing breakthroughs, that continue to challenge our lives today to have a better relationship with our dogs and to be the fantastic owners that our dogs are worthy of.   They simply deserve it!

Does anyone else feel this way about the changes that have happen to dog theories for the better?  Or do you think we still have a ways to go?

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