My Therapy Dogs at Work

Dear Friends,

It has been a rough couple of days for me dealing with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  I had a trigger that set off a chain of reactions and I really struggled today.  Thank Goodness for the dogs.  When I felt I was splitting from myself, I cuddle with one of them and it grounded me.  It is probably the reason my post aren't very cute and funny.  My dogs are my lifeline.  They always have been.  And maybe having "therapy dogs" all my life to help me through my childhood abuse and the aftermath of it has given me a different perspective than some might have about dogs.

When I'm in this scathed state of body and mind, I relive that which was done to me and I am frozen and emotionally paralyzed.  Deep in my mind I'm calling for help and when that call comes to surface, I will have the strength to go to one of the dogs, who is open to receive me and just smother them with kisses and cuddles until I feel feeling once again rush to my brain.  That's when I know I'm OK and I am safe and well cared for.  That's what they do for me, unfreeze my brain and let me feel their love wash over me.  And this has been ongoing since I was very young and it is the way I survived.

I don't know that I could every really describe how that really feels, but the above is close.  I can go from feeling death to life with just a furry touch.  And it is so wonderful.  I bounced back quickly today because I had that rejuvenation with the dogs.  And I know everything is going to be OK.

   What better therapy than to cuddle with the 24 Paws of Love?

Brut Self-Love

I've needed dogs all my life, they were my mentors on love, but I never needed I dog as badly as I needed Brut.  He's been teaching me the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn and one that only he could teach.  Self-love.

I've been in a downward spiral of self hate for most of my life and living thru the memories of my childhood abuse (PTSD) only made things worse.

I think it is why I related with and loathe Brut's aggression.  It made me face myself and that was the last thing I knew how to do.

There was a part of me that loved his freedom and power to express himself.  Nobody walks all over Brut.  I struggled to reclaim that power in my own life.  To have the confidence and strength that would stop myself from my own self beatings.

And I hated Brut too for his aggression and the violence and cruelty it portrayed.  It became a cycle that I couldn't see.

I fought hard for my heart dog.  Even before I knew a word that described him.  Little did I know that every time I faced Brut, I faced myself.

Brut's aggression would go from 0 to 60 and back in a matter of breaths.  I took a little longer on my end of forgiveness.  

No matter if it was my fault or his for a fight, eventually I came around to forgiving him and most

important, I continued to love him.  And every time I loved him, a little piece of me was loved.

This awful, horrible being I grew up thinking I am, was chipping away when I was confronted with Brut and his aggression.  For I already knew the beautiful being Brut was. I was shocked to discover much later he was thinking the same thing about me.

It has taken many years of dog's unconditional love that kept me believing in love at all. It was Brut that started breaking down that self prison with every growl, snarl, and gnashing of his teeth to wake this girl up and set her free.

   

One more thought on the Brut Whisperer and PTSD

 

 Can you see the fear in his eyes even at 6 weeks old?

What I sort of understood from the time I got Brut and going through his aggression, was that his aggression was a trigger for my PTSD.  Looking back his aggression stood for everything that was evil and wicked in my childhood abuse.  It sent immense anger, fear, and sheer terror.  And I didn't know how to separate that from Brut, the dog, who also had a horrible puppy hood and was dealing with his own demons of what he went through.  I didn't know at the time I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, all I knew was that I was reliving my childhood nightmares through flashbacks and memories and Brut was part of that.  Not just for the bad stuff, but also for the good.  For he gave me a strong rock to fall on and a devoted security and protection I never had in a dog before.  Or any living being for that matter.  His love was as fierce and as intense as his aggression and his loyalty was unbreakable.  I couldn"t have asked for a dog like Brut to help me heal through all of those wicked parts of my life only to find that he was given to me with the same sheer terror that I had inside.

 Our all time favorite pic of Brut

Maybe that's why he was sent to me and I to him, to help each other through the abuse we both went through and the fears that have scarred our hearts.  Because with everything I been through with Brut it was more than just a dog and human relationship, we were together to save each others souls.

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If you or anyone you know is struggling with PTSD and would like to find out more info about it you can go here:

PTSD Town Forum that will be streaming live at http://upnorthlive.com 

on Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 8pm EST.

     

Thank You Pamela-PTSD Forum

I can not be the only dog lover out there who suffers from depression.  I also know I can't be the only dog lover out there who has been through a traumatic childhood.  And I know I am not alone in dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder better known as PTSD.

I know there must be others out there who struggle with one or all three of these issues.  And I want to let you know, you are not alone.  I am there too.  It is a constant fight that is baffling and cunning and does everything to break you.

The dogs and my husband are a huge part of my healing process, but they don't change the fact that I live with my demons every day.

That's why I want to tell you about a

 PTSD Town Forum that will be streaming live at http://upnorthlive.com 

on Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 8pm EST.

Experts in the field of PTSD will help explain, diagnose and discuss treatments available.

It is free to attend and there is no registration for stream live feed, only if you physically plan to attend. 

The reason I thanked Pamela, is a feel like she busted the door on depression for me with her candid and honest post about her struggles with depression.  And I thank her for that.  We are not alone.  Together we can be there for each other and help each other through each of our battles. 

And that is when I realized there are others out there who would like to attend the forum and with the magic of the internet, anyone can.  

My Therapy Dogs-Zappa's Love Stare

In continuing with sharing my personal struggles with PTSD, I'm sharing how my dogs have developed into my own personal therapy dogs, without any formal training from me.  This next experience is another of those when the Zappa saves me from myself.

My Therapy Dogs-A Touch of Love

Therapy dogs are used for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) all the time and even though my dogs aren't certified they've proven they are my own personal therapy dogs in my healing.  My doctor told me to find a way to make them my therapy dogs to bring me out of my PTSD, I didn't know how.  I look up ways, but I didn't know how to do it, because when you're in a flashback you don't have the capacity to give a cue or a signal.  But my dogs are so amazing and know me so well, they already knew how to connect me back to the present.  This is one of many examples.

Therapy Dogs and PTSD

Therapy dogs are used for all kinds of forms of therapy and situations.  One way therapy dogs are used is for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD.  You've probably heard that war heroes are among the many who encounter PTSD after coming home from war.  But did you know there are also many who suffer from PTSD who have never been to war?  They are survivors of a different sort.  Survivors of childhood abuse or traumatic events which they endure most likely silently and alone.

One of the main symptoms or causes of PTSD is reliving past events as if they are really happening in the here and now.  Now image your worst nightmare or horror flick and not being able to turn it off.  EVER.  It is constantly running in your head and terrifying you so much you can not function anymore.  This is what is like living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.