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Current blog look inspired by and dedicated to Chance, Blaze, Fiona and Zappa who all kicked ass against cancer and liver disease.

Brut Quote

Brut Quote

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

What happen to Fiona

Today marks Chance's three week anniversary.  This was written a week after his death and about Fiona after we buried Chance.  This was one of the hardest post I've had to write.  May they rest in peace. 

It has been a week today that we buried Chance.  He was alive until 2:45pm, then we did our burial ritual and he was buried.  It is also one week since Fiona had her first episode of not being able to walk.  The harness was fresh off of Chance and onto Fiona.  Scared the crap out of both of us.  We thought it was a bad sign and a horrible message.  Then she was fine the next day.  Was going to take the harness off that day, but decided to wait..."just in case."   She ate on Friday morning.  Good sign.  Then somewhere it changed to she couldn't walk anymore.  Her eyes were darting back and forth, she was shaking and when we tried to move her, awful sounds of pain came from her.  She fought and struggle, we thought we were hurting her with the harness. So we switch to the blanket and took her out to make her pee by hand.  She was in sheer terror from the  move.  Really no urine, she hadn't drank all day, so we took her back in the house and into bedroom.  More terror.  More pain.  Eyes darting fast.  Some how in that state of mind she rested, or at least stopped moving and closed her eyes.  I stayed up all night with her, except going out in the living room a couple of times and going outside with Zappa once.  Mark knew it was the end.  The pain was horrifying.  And if nothing else confirmed it, moving her into the van to go to the vet did.  Her whole world was spinning.  Her body was in constant motion.  There was no stopping this.  

Discussed with our vet what was going on.  She said it was vestibular disease (old dog syndrome) having to do with deep in the inner ear.  Mark thinks it was brought on by a mini-stroke.  Loss of balance, everything spinning, nausea, serious head tilt and eyes that dart side to side.  Our vet said it was like Fiona was on a merry-go-round that she couldn't get off.  Whatever it was and whatever caused it, was one of the worst things I have seen.  Fiona was suffering.  We had to make it stop.  Recovery was very, very slim with her liver condition.  And so, we put her down that Saturday after this short onset on symptoms that took over her body.  And she was set free, from all of it.  Running and playing with Chance and Blaze.  I saw her.  She was happy.  

Today I cried for that girl I miss and what happened.  That it wasn't enough that we loss Chance, but had to lose Fiona too and it doesn't make any sense.  I don't understand.  But then I think I do.  I just don't know for sure, but it doesn't make it hurt any less.  My sweet girl was doing so well. I was looking forward to the extra time together, now that Chance was gone.  And didn't even get that.  So fast.  So quick.  She was gone.  Never to hold her again.  

Today as I sat out front, Mark and Zappa going to grab dinner, I saw Blaze, sitting in front of me.  I hadn't forgotten, I hadn't had the time.  But she was there to comfort me.  And I could see and feel my little Sweet Pea.  Life is so unfair and must move on, but it will never stop me from loving all of you no matter where we go.  I will always take you with me.  And you will always be here.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.  Now and forever.  Forever and always Amen.   

Monday, May 10, 2021

Run Fiona, Run Free

JANUARY 2, 2008--MAY 8,2021

55 days after Blaze died and 3 days after Chance died, our little Fiona, is now running free with them.  I can't explain what happened except it was neurological.  Maybe someday I will try, but for now it is beyond my comprehension.  She started having symptoms the night we buried Chance and from then on it only got worse.  There is a possibility for recovery from this aliment, but with Fiona's liver condition and hip dysplasia it did not look good.  So we did the most loving thing we could do and released her from her pain.  

Heaven gained one hell of a Diva Princess and true warrior of love.  

Prayers are welcome for Zappa, who is now the lone dog of the 24 Paws of Love. And for us as we have lost 3 dogs in less than 60 days.   

Thank you.

Friday, May 7, 2021

Run Free Mr. Chancer

 On May 5, 2021, 52 days after we laid Blaze to rest, we set our Chancer Dancer free from his cancer-ridden body.  

Cancer may have taken Chance, but never his spirit.  He fought right up until the end with all the love he could give.  

Our hearts are broken, but we are soothed knowing Chance is with Blaze again.

Our heavenly warrior is back where he belongs, with his girl, running free in God's kingdom.

Run free Chance

Chance Markiewicz
January 2, 2008-May 5, 2021

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Back and Forth Love

 Today Chance started a new thing.  Mark and I were sitting outside facing each other and Chance went to Mark to be petted then turned and came to me to be petted.  Then he went back to Mark, and continued going back and forth between us about 3 times.  It was sweet and loving.  

Then later in the house we were in the kitchen and he did the same thing.  

Just when I have my doubts about what we are doing, Chance shows me different.