She didn't say it outright, but hinted at the notion he was going to suffer and we didn't want that, did we? The vet had just completed the ultrasound of Zappa's abdomen and the results were not good. Even though we suspected something was wrong and having been through liver tumors with the other three dogs, we were somewhat prepared. What we did not expect was a vet hinting at the fact it might be better to put Zappa down and expecting us to make a decision right there and then. The tumor was large, 11cm x 9cm, and the outcome wasn't good if it ruptured and this was where she was "concerned." She was afraid Zappa would die a suffering death.
OK, I get that. I didn't want Zappa to have a slow and painful death anymore than she did. But, the tumor had been there all along, long before she discovered it and it wasn't just going to burst the minute we walked out the door. Obviously Zappa had been living with it for some time and so far, so good.
I also get that he could go at any time. Zappa could fall or bump into something or twist the wrong way bursting the tumor and he could die. But, I don't think that warranted an immediate death certificate to "save" him from this suffering.
I found myself flabbergasted after she finally let us go home to think about it. When we left the office, the first thing my husband said to me was, "Doesn't Zappa get a say?"
If he was suffering, right there and then, we would put him down, but he wasn't. Zappa was living life with no clue to his body. Which makes me wonder how many of these diagnoses this vet has given and encouraged them in so many words to euthanize their dog immediately?
I couldn't even fathom the thought, much less act upon it.
That was two months ago and I'm still blown away by her suggestion. If I would have followed through with it, I would have lost some of the best times I've ever had with Zappa. And I mean the BEST! Zappa and I have really begun to communicate. Knowing more and more what the other is thinking. It has really been so cool! He actually comes to me when he wants something. It has been an incredible experience that I had no clue would happen. Didn't seem possible and now, we are having the best time of our lives.
How much I would have lost out on if we had listened to the vet?
How much would have Zappa lost out on?
How much have others?