2021- The worst year ever

 It was the worst year of our lives, losing three dogs within a matter of months.  Blaze on March 14, Chance on May 5, and Fiona on May 8.  The sequence of events still sends me into shock sometimes.  They all died of liver disease and/or liver cancer.  It was in their genetics.  We had a DNA profile of all four dogs and Blaze, Chance and Fiona all had the gene for ALP and ALT liver levels showing high, which leads to liver failure and they all died from it.  

Zappa on the other hand doesn't have ALP or ALT gene, but we just found out that both of these levels are higher than they were in August.  Which means there is stress on the liver coming from somewhere else.  We will be getting x-rays and an ultrasound done in the coming weeks.  It seems time is starting to tick for him now.  

I thought I could write more.  But I still don't have many words.  My whole life feels like a vacuum.  The puppies 14th birthday is coming up on January 2.  It is going to be a hard day not only for the loss of our three, but we found out just last week that one of our homed puppies we visited every year or so died earlier this year.  So if you are counting, out of ten puppies, 6 are gone, that we know for sure.  There are two we will never know about, but is safe to assume they are probably no longer with us.  And one puppy with some possibility of finding out if she is still here.  Zappa may be the only one left and who is still alive.   The last of the "Power of Ten" litter.

At least I know Zappa will more than likely make it to his birthday.  That's the best I can say right now...

The spirit of my PTSD therapy dog

Never fear...Chancer Dancer is still here!!

 One of the biggest things I miss about having Chance, he always knew when I was having a PTSD flashback.   I was triggered on Christmas day and it took more than two days to realize what was happening.  With Chance there, that would have never happened.  Zappa has never been a therapy dog to me.  It was a pretty scary experience.  

What helped me out of it? and how did I figure out what was happening?  I went outside and there were dogs barking out in the neighborhood.  That's when I snapped back to reality.  It was a cool feeling, as I believe Chance and the gang were still helping me out in their own way.  Revving up the outside dogs, which on a normal night you don't hear too many dogs, if at all, but tonight there were several.  And while I miss the direct contact of my hand on Chance's fur, which always woke me up out of my nightmare, he was still there in spirit right next to me.  

I've been pretty fortunate that I don't have many of these flashbacks anymore.  Every so often one will hit, but this was definitely the longest one in a long time.  Another reason to miss my boy.  It was one of Chance's special gifts, as he wasn't certified or trained, he just knew me.  Now it is time to trust Chance's spirit and let him guide me through the next PTSD episode because I know he is still here.   

Merry Christmas Blogsville!

It has been a hard year for so many of us.  So many losses.  Just know we feel your pain and are right there with you.   

Our hope is that you have something to celebrate, even if it is just a moment of time, that makes you smile.  

We have been so blessed to "know" all of you and your furbabies through our blog and want to thank you for being part of our joys, our sorrows, and our pain.  Thank you for being there for us.

Merry Christmas Blogville!

And now for some good news!

Zappa is experiencing a whole new adventure these past couple of months, he is getting cold laser therapy treatments for pain in his hips, lower and upper back and his knees.  And so far it is working!

Zappa has never had fear of our vet or any other vet, until the dogs died.  He's never had fear riding in the car until the dogs died.  And he has never went any great distance in the car in a very long time, long before the dogs died.  So combining all these fears, on top of the cold laser treatment has been a challenge for Zappa to say the least.  Yet, he is coming through with flying colors, slowly but surely.

Let me back up for a minute...

His pain.  He was having a hard time standing, sitting and lying down.  It was slow and painful.  Right now over the last 8 courses, he can stand up relatively steady and quicker than before.  There were leaps and bounds of progress to reach this point.  

He started sitting in the last couple of weeks, which was HUGE progress.  Zappa hasn't been able to sit at all for the last couple of years.  So this was phenomenal!  And if that weren't enough he started sitting in the van on the rides to the appointment.  He had been standing for the entire hour and a half ride, there and back.  Causing more strain and tension going to the appointment and after treatment that we didn't know if there was any point to continuing therapy.  It seemed it was all going to be counterproductive if we couldn't get his anxiety under control during these car rides.  I mean, he was just shaking like crazy, a total bundle of nerves, all through the visit and all the way back home.  We needed help! 

Thank God for anti-anxiety medicine!  We finally got Zappa some by the third visit and it was the only thing that worked.  

So now we're about half way in to the treatments from where we are now and Zappa is standing through the car rides, but isn't shaking and is more relaxed.  He is starting to calm during the laser therapy.  Each time we go he is staying still longer and longer.  Then it doesn't take long and he finally lays down in the car on the way home one day.  Then he does it on another ride for a longer period of time.  Then he lays down on the way there and we are unwinding with him at each move.  The three of us have become one big knot that finally started to unravel.  I didn't think we would ever get to this point.  

Right now we are going twice a week, same days and time, making a steady routine for Zappa and us.  We are continuing this schedule until the end of the year.  If all goes well, we will only have to go once a week to manage Zappa's pain.  

And all of this is happening because of my husband's determination and perseverance and of course love, because he didn't want Zappa to have to live on pain medicine for the rest of his life.  The best part is that it is paying off and if working.  This whole experience has been worth seeing Zappa move easier and with less pain, without the side effects of medicines.  

Pretty cool!