I stopped feeding the wild birds when our duck, Luigi, passed from eating too many sunflower seeds. I blamed the birds for killing Luigi. It wasn't their fault, but I couldn't help it. Three years later, (last summer) I made a couple of bird feeders and began feeding the wild birds again. It was such a joy. My love for birds never stopped, just took a hiatus. Than about mid-winter the squirrels had taken over the feeders and we had a slick coat of ice all over the backyard, so I quit feeding the squirrels for fear the dogs would hurt themselves chasing the critters on the ice.
Blue jay on my homemade bird feeder
That's when the healing box opened up and I talked with Luigi. I needed him to forgive me, so I could forgive myself about his death.and he did. So I was able to forgive myself.
That was this past spring. I still couldn't bring myself to feed the birds. It took me seven months and a lot of back and forth deciding. My hubby, Mark, also aided to my dilemma. He found a couple of bird feeders in the dumpster, both like brand new and brought them home, not knowing my emotional turmoil to use them or not.
Finally, one day I gave in. Filled the feeders, hung them up and let God take over. And He did. I suddenly had a bird haven, with squirrels and chipmunks. Birds flying all over the place, whizzing by my head, in front and back of me. This is when it occurred to me, that this is what Luigi would have wanted for me. A yard full of birds for me to enjoy, harnessing that deep love I have always had for our feathered friends. I would even call it Luigi's legacy for me. He gave me a deeper understanding of birds and the relationship that is possible with them. It is a wonderful, freeing feeling and that's all Luigi ever wanted for me. I am so blessed to have had him in my life.