Blaze- 5 year anniversary

She was our littlest 24 Paw.

She was an avid hunter and full of spitfire.

She had an hyper anxious electricity about her.

We have always been grateful that her previous owners brought her back to us.

She had quite the fascination with Boxer and Leia.

She was loved.

She was Blaze.

And she more than fit her name.

and then some.

Can't believe it has been five years that she has been gone.

Love you Sweet Pea.  ♥

 

Chance and Blaze's digging holes

 These are the five holes that Chance and Blaze dug that are still in the front yard.  Three years since their passing and the holes haven't filled in yet. I planted the flowers in them a couple of years ago.  They came up early this year with the early spring weather.  🥰  

The flowers bring up good memories. Chance and Blaze were crazy diggers.  Chance would dig deep enough and wide enough to fit his entire body in a hole, with just his head sticking out.  lol

The joys of letting them dig in the yard and having something they left behind.  

My Bedtime Buddies

The last stuffies of: (l to r) Blaze, Chance, Fiona and Zappa

 

These are my bedtime buddies.  Each stuffie is one of the last toys that the four pups, Blaze, Chance, Fiona and Zappa played with before they died.  

So I hold them in just that order across my chest and fall asleep with them in my arms.  They bring me comfort.

For a long time I couldn't sleep without them in that position.  These stuffies did a great deal to help with my grief.  I talked to them like they were the dogs.  

While now it's not necessary to sleep with them every night, I still do occasionally, they are always on the bed next to me.  They still bring me comfort, just by being there. 

Do you have a favorite doggie stuffie?

 

Blaze gone 3 years today

I laid down as the tears flowed   

Hitting almost as hard as when she passed.  

The cats planted themselves on my chest 

As I wept for my girl.

Miss you so much.

The Royal Blood/24Paws connection

 Tonight my favorite English duo, Royal Blood are playing here in Michigan.  I've been upset for months that I couldn't go.  Covid and Zappa.  Mostly Zappa.  I have really struggle with why the stars aligned the way they did for today.  It seemed like there was a roadblock in every direction.  

To me, Royal Blood is a band of all bands for alternative rock.  While it feels as if the the rest of the rock world is dying, this band is more than a breath of fresh air; they are like getting straight oxygen to the brain.  They had me with their first beat of their first single.  

Tickets went on sale in Dec. '21 and were still available last week.  There was just no way I can go.  Today, I finally accepted that and thought I will have my own private concert at home.  I'll play their 3 albums back to back and just enjoy the music.  

I was half way through the first album, Royal Blood, when I found myself feeling uneasy and like my brain was churning.  I had to walk away from the music and sit outside.  Before I left, I looked at the year this album came out.  2014.  That's when the puzzle came into focus. 

Brut died in 2015 and I'd been listening to this album, before and after he died. I lived on the album.  Sometimes it helped me grieve while other times it was a break from grieving.  

The 2nd album, How did we get so dark?, came out in 2017, the same year Silver died.  I played it to over and over that year.  

The latest album, Typhoon, came out in 2020. Our last summer with Chance, Blaze, and Fiona.  Guess what got me through after they were gone.  

Every significant death is connected with these songs, these albums, and this band.  

Maybe, just maybe seeing Royal Blood live, tonight, would have been more than this broken hearted dog mom could take.  

Remembering my girl, Blaze. One year anniversary

That white streak is how Blaze got her name.

Little did we know she would give it a whole other meaning!

Blaze was born of Silver and Brut's litter.  She was the ninth puppy born.  And she was a natural born instigator.  Always starting something.  She was that way from the time she was born, until the time that she died.  It was an infectious quality she had.  I didn't always appreciate it, but learned to love her more for it.    

My first real memory of Blaze, (because her birth is a blur now) is when she was about 2-3 weeks old.  All the puppies would be settling down for a nap, getting all cozy with each other, and here would come Blaze pouncing on everyone with that baby bark, "Get up! Get up!  She was hilarious.  I still crack up when I think about it.  I can't stop laughing about it now. 

My flower barrel became a favorite spot in those early days back home.

 

My second vivid memory of Blaze is when her previous owners gave her back to us.  Our four dogs, were out back playing and Blaze's high pitched bark was rapidly firing off from the kitchen.   The dogs had rejected her when she came home and she so desperately wanted to play with them.  Well, I walked in through the door to the kitchen expecting to see her at the door, I followed her voice and there she was on top of the kitchen island!  Blaze was all fired up, shaking her tail and head and yipping with this huge smile on her face.  I was shocked!  This girl was crazy!  I even went so far as to put up a fence around the island table and the kitchen counter trying to stop her.   That lasted about a half a minute when I realized I couldn't use the table myself.  lol  I worked with her to stop jumping on the the counter and table, but I don't think it stopped until Chance came back.  She finally had another dog to play with and call her own.  

There was the time she jumped in the car when we went to visit her with her owners.  She was ready to come home then.  As it turned out about a week later was when they returned her to us.  She was so spot on!

I spent several months sleeping on the bathroom floor with Blaze.  She had been so hurt by her owners that she was a shell of herself.  She wouldn't sleep next to me at first, but over time she would lay down by my feet.  I remember how timid she was doing that, that I just held my breath when she did come on my blanket.  Tiny amounts of trust started in that bathroom.

                                   

After her spaying.  If Blaze could talk!

Blaze was so whip smart!  After the trust was built, there was no stopping her.  I was so intimidated by her intelligence.  Those wheels were also turning!  We were always trying to outsmart each other, but somehow it seemed Blaze was always on top.  I especially noticed it when we were on our walks.  That mind of her was always working on ways to pull me along.  I threw my hands up many a time walking her that I would just turn around and go home.  She was too much for me some days. 

I'll never forget the time Blaze and I had a frustrating day together and I was at my wits end.  It was my turn to sleep with her and I was trying to find a way for both of us to wind down for the night.  (This was before Chance had come back)  When I pulled out a tub of vanilla ice cream for us to share.  Blaze loved it!  She began to calm down and I began to come to.  She was so in love with ice cream.  That was the first time and it wasn't our last.  But I was loving our girls night together.  Blaze made everything she loved to do into the most exciting thing in the world.  I loved that about her.  Didn't matter what it was, if she was excited about it, she loved it!

Blaze didn't just dig...she built trenches!

One thing Blaze loved to do was run and being a part-time Husky she was born with the perfect frame and drive to pull a sled.  Don't let her 63 pounds fool you, she pulled me behind her effortlessly.  It was one the most beautiful things to experience, as she moved with fluidity and grace when she pulled.  It was breathtaking.  It came to her as natural as breathing.  As exquisite as she was, her long body galloping down the snow covered trail, there was a twist, she was still Blaze.  When she pulled she was on a mission, she knew she was in charge and she took that freedom to new heights every time when sledded together.  Her goal:  to look for dogs or go where ever the hell she wanted!  We were lucky though, we only had one encounter with a couple of dogs and their owner and just made it out of there alive.  (Something I'll share at another time.)  Blaze had a mind of her own and if she could get away with it, she did.   

Blaze was an amazing dog.  A little of everything you want and don't want in a dog.  Her spirit just vibrated with life, love and happiness.  As it still does today.  We were doubly blessed when she came back home and to have lived the life we did with her on Earth.  And we can't wait for our heavenly reunion someday.  

We miss you Sweet Pea.  You will always be our Baby Girl.

A chip off the ol' block.

Smiling in front of Daddy Dog Brut's roses.

Discombobulated

This was written at the beginning of February,2022.  I never got around to sharing it. This is just some of things Mark and I have been going through with Zappa. 

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We have been doing it since the first night Blaze came back.  Every night with only a few exceptions, for 13 years, hubby and I have been taking turns sleeping with the two packs.  Each night switching pillows and blankets between the two sleeping quarters.  Mark would sleep with one side while I was sleeping on the other and then the next night we would rotate.  

When Blaze came back, it was a difficult time all around, especially for her.  There was no way we were leaving her alone that first night and so I took first shift on the bathroom floor with my little girl.  With nothing more than layered blankets on a plywood floor and a silent prayer we began what would become a lifestyle that changed the course of our lives.  

We continued this pattern even after Chance, Blaze and Fiona died.  At first it was hard sleeping with the Front pack all alone, but over time it became healing and welcomed.  

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For the last couple of months my sleeping time with Zappa have been very stressful.  He was constantly waking me up and getting me up and down out of bed.  Eventually, I slept in the living room.  The beginning of the broken trust.  That went on fine for a couple of months, until he started again, waking me up and keeping me up.  Not good for either of us.  Finally after days of little to no sleep, we made the difficult decision for Mark to sleep with Zappa on a regular basis, while I took to the Front Dogs.  

The decision was good.  I was finally able to catch up on my sleep as my mental health had been wavering due so many sleepless nights.  

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It's been almost a week since sleeping "with" Chance and Blaze.  And I'm having a harder and harder time sleeping.  The decision for permanent sleeping arrangements, solidifies the big change that happened almost a year ago and I don't know where to sleep anymore.  I slept with the cats last night.  I'm in my chair at the moment.  I don't know where to rest my head.  I'm so discombobulated.   It is more than just a routine, it was our lives.  It was our dogs.  It was everything.  And it is over.  It is over.

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It has been a good month since changing our sleeping arrangements and things are finally settling down.  I am sleeping in Chance's and Blaze's bed and sleeping through the night without shifting places.  I feel grounded now and while it is still difficult sleeping alone, there is some peace.  

Now and Forever, Blaze

 Where has the time gone?  How did almost a year sneak under our belt?  Today, Valentine's Day marks Blaze's 11 months since she left us.  How have we managed, how have we lived without her for 11 months?  Seems like she was just here yesterday.  It doesn't seem fair or right, yet here we are.  

It wasn't so long ago that I was giving her kisses on her forehead.  Her favorite.  She used to visit me in the bathroom just for them.  

Or how giddy she would get trying to sit long enough for a treat with her wing-tipped ears wiggling with excitement.  

Two of my favorite memories of Blaze.  This is how I picture her.  Coming to get kisses and those floppy ears.  That's how I remember her.  

That's how I will always remember her.  

Now and Forever, Blaze.

I'm going to miss it

 Fall was long for us and rather mild.  So, with the onset of winter and snow, blistering winds and ice in the last week, I am already getting cabin fever.  

The dogs were always great at breaking that fever.  Dog sledding, dog walks, rough housing and running in the snow.  We always had such fun!  I'm going to miss those times.  That and our indoor games of "find it."  We always had a blast playing that game!  Hiding treats all over the house and having the dogs find them.  Some were obvious places and played over and over again.  But there were always a few treats that were really hidden in a new spot.  Chance and Blaze were geniuses at the game.  All I had to say was, "I see one, two, three, etc. that you missed and they were back in it.  Searching frantically to beat the other.  It wasn't often but I have stumped them a few times and had give some clues as to where the hidden goodie was.  Oh, how I miss playing that game with them!  

I miss having a pack of dogs around.  I miss the aggravation and the laughter.  I miss wanting to pull my hair out and wanting to hug them.  I miss the love that filled this house.  Every room filled with a dog.  I miss the antics, the barking, and the howling choir.  I miss grumbling about every day chores and how the dogs made it fun.  I really miss behavior training.  It was the heart and soul of those misfit huskies and the rewards were priceless!

This will be our first winter without all of the above.  And I'm going to miss it.  

Happy Thanksgiving 2021!

To  all our US friends, we wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!

From the 24 Paws of Love ❤

Fiona and Zappa

Blaze and Chance

These pictures are from last Thanksgiving when we were getting photos for last year's Christmas card.  

Some of my favorite pictures of the end of fall, in the woods with my best friends.  Doing what we loved and smiling all the way. 

Have a wonderful day my friends!  Life is short, hug your dog!

💗 Mark, Patty and Zappa 💗

The tears just sprang out of nowhere

 It started with Blaze's song and ended with paw prints and two lift harnesses.  

I haven't cried over just Blaze in a very long time.  It has taken this long to be able to process her death, without thinking of Chance and Fiona.  I never really got the chance because the focus immediately went on Chance as he struggled through Blaze's death.  And then we put Chance down and buried him and Fiona started her tailspin to her death the next three days.  And it has been an almost constant of Chance and Fiona, Chance and Fiona.  Never getting the chance to grieve my Sweet pea.  This was like a crack in the dam.  To be able to touch it and feel it.  

It started when I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me.  What diagnosis did I have for today.  When I remembered what a friend said about going through a traumatic event.  Three deaths so close together.  Of dogs, no less.  And that's when Blaze's song went through my head and I broke down, only thinking of my little Blaze.  I missed her so much.  Not being able to grieve for her, the only thing I can remember about her is her barking at mealtimes.   Like it's the only thing stuck in my mind.  Hope that breaks along with this open healing.  I know there was more, but right now I can't find it.  

Fast forward to evening time, I sat in the garage while Mark did odds and ends.  Chance and Blaze's pawprints were on the floor in a box in garage.  Where they had been all summer.  I finally picked them up and put them in the bedroom, in the bookcase with the others.  Their last steps.  I labeled and put them away along with Fiona's and Blaze's collars.  

The last thing in the box was the red lift harness.  Still with their fur and smell.  The tears were filling up, I hung them quickly and walked away.  I wasn't ready to go there, yet.

The dam broke later that night as I was flooded with grief and sadness for my little Blaze.  And with it came all the memories of her and our life together.  It hurt but it was a good hurt to remember, feel and be in touch with my one and only Blaze. 

 

How we lost Blaze-Part 1

We just passed the five week mark of losing Blaze.  The time has been a blur as most of the focus has been on Chance.  Who is doing fine by the way.  No major changes and that is good, because when it changes, that means the liver is failing.  Which can happen at any time.  One minute everything is fine and the next they crash.  That was what happened to Blaze.  We took her to the vet for her heartworm test and to have the fluid drained out of abdomen, she walked out of the vet's office and into the van.  When we got home, she walked in the house and collapsed on the floor, eagle spread.  We were shocked, but I attributed it to her hip dysplasia, getting up and down several times the day before going in and out, and the fact she had to stand to have her abdomen drained.  Figured she was just exhausted from all the spent energy.  She hadn't ate the last couple of days and we thought she just needed to regain her strength.  We didn't know she was going into liver failure.  Nothing prepped us for this.

We had to carry her with towels to take her inside and outside.  By the second day she was weaker, refused to eat and still would only lay spread eagle.  She wasn't getting better, she was getting worse.  Unfortunately, we didn't know her liver was failing and it was all happening so fast.  That's we discovered her stool was black and looked like coffee grounds, she was bleeding internally from her upper GI.  It all went downhill from there.  Even with medicine, nothing could stop what was happening before our eyes.  Most of time she was out of it, but she had her alert moments.  Making the decision even harder.

We talked with our vet, we still couldn't totally comprehend what was happening to our girl.  I felt like we weren't getting any clear answers as to what direction to take.  The shock and disbelief were overwhelming.   But by the third night we knew she wasn't going to get better, she was barely functioning, except to drink water.  I stayed up with Blaze cleaning up her rear and comforting her as she was bleeding heavy through the night. 

It was time to make that decision.  

We took her in the next day, on a Sunday, at 2:15pm, in our van, as our vet assisted in the cross over for Blaze.  The vet at one end while Mark and I were looking into Blaze's eyes for the last time, saying our good-byes.

It was quick and painless and Blaze was finally set free from the wretched body that had betrayed her in the end.  It was over.  Her pain was over.  

I miss my little spitfire-

 It has been a long three weeks since Blaze left us.  We've settled into a routine without her smiling face and spunky eyes and life seems so empty.  She was the catalyst of the bunch.  Always getting something started.  She never did like a boring life.  

An hour an a half before breakfast, dinner and snack time, she started her famous mealtime is coming up bark.  Blaze always knew when it was mealtime and wanted to make sure I didn't forget.  

She used to drive me crazy with her barking, so I started talking back to her.  I miss our conversations.  

watch on YouTube

Blaze's song

Every dog that has passed on has a song.  My song for them.  A song will just start playing in my head after they are gone and it will remind me of them.  

This is Blaze's song.  The first morning she was gone, I got up and this song by Slaughter was playing in my head.  I hadn't heard this song in years, like since high school and there is was playing loud and clear for Blaze.  

I miss my girl.  She had a smile that could light up the world.  

For you Blaze...

Fly to the Angels

 

With Heavy Hearts...

We let go of Blaze... Sunday, March 14, 2021 

She was bleeding internally.  The cancer caught up to her.

So, we set her free

Another Princess warrior to add to heaven's army.

Please keep us in your prayers and thoughts.  Especially Chance who is lost without his girl.  

She was so loved and will be so missed. 

Run free my girl  ♥ 

Blaze Markiewicz

January 2, 2008-March 14, 2021

And then there is Blaze

On January 29, 2021, a Friday, we took Blaze to the vet.  She had fluid in her abdomen that had gone down and I was hoping to get an x-ray, looking for tumors. I had suspicions when  I noticed Blaze had begun mimicking Chance's behavior.  I don't know how to explain it, but they were like carbon copies of each other.  Unfortunately I was right.  A HUGE mass in her abdomen, coming from the liver, that is pushing her intestines forward. 

Our second dog to currently have cancer, next to Chance.  

Blaze at the moment is doing pretty good under her conditions.  She's doing all the normal doggy things: eating, drinking, walking, sleeping...so for that we are grateful. 

Any prayers or well wishes would be greatly appreciated.  

Love, Mark, Patty and the 24 Paws of Love 

Little bit of good, little bit of not-so-good

This past week, Chance has taken a slight but significant turn for the worse.  The biggest issue has been his rapid weight loss.  His backbone and ribs are just starting to show and there is muscle loss.  We've added more protein to his diet per our vet's instructions, but Chance is still struggling a bit to eat in the morning.  He has no problem eating at night, so that is good.  He still barks for his meals and is in generally good spirits, another positive.  

Hubby, Mark is having a very difficult time witnessing Chance like this.  Well, we both are, but Mark is taking it the hardest right now.  It has been hard on him being a working dad and being away from the dogs.  He has missed out on so much time with them that he can't get back.  It breaks my heart.  

One shining light on Chance is Blaze.  She goes outside with Chance every. single. time. he goes out.  Struggling on her arthritic back legs, getting up and down, she makes sure Chance doesn't go out alone.  And even if she comes in before him, she has done her job.  Blazes loyalty shines a beacon of love in these sometimes dark times.

And while we have to take it easy on how far Chance and I walk, he is still one powerful, strong-willed dog, who can still pull me along if he wants.  Our walks are pretty brisk.  Chance is still the fastest of all the dogs, even with cancer.  

We have our good days and our bad, but overall Chance is still kicking ass and that's a good thing.  ♥    

From our Paws to Yours...

 

the Christmas card walk

This is how you do it Chance.

 Blaze had figured it out...the secret to getting treats on a walk, that normally didn't come with any.  All she had to do was walk a little ways and sit.  A couple of snapshots and treats!  

We were out on a photoshoot for Christmas card pictures.  It was so funny and cute that Blaze was onto the game.  She's so smart.  None of the other dogs caught on to this strange walk.  Although Chance was catching on to Blaze and would sit willingly. 

Just when I think I've seen it all, Blaze amazed me.  And I fall in love all over again.  It makes me almost want to cry tears of love and joy.  Each one so special in their own way.  What awesome creatures dogs are!

Posers

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

 

First Fiona and now Blaze

This has been difficult to write.  I have been putting it off trying to process the information. 

I told you about Fiona having liver disease, well we found out after a hunch and blood work, Blaze has it as well. 

This past year we got DNA test for Fiona and Chance.  Well we also got a health analysis with it.  At this time we already knew that Fiona had liver disease, but it was discovered that Chance carried the same gene for it.  Which lead me to getting Blaze tested after witnessing some of the same symptoms that Fiona had before treatment.  Well, Blaze's liver levels were quite high after getting blood test.  That's when we figured out that this was genetic. 

Blaze is on the same medicine as Fiona and is responding slowly.  They are both taking Urisidol and Denamarin to keep the liver going.  How long it will last is a guessing game, but for now it is working.

We will be getting blood work for Chance and Zappa's liver levels in the next few weeks.  Chance is showing any symptoms right now, but I have some suspicions about Zappa.  I hope I am wrong.

It's been a little bit of an emotional rollercoaster dealing with all of this information.  I thought the scare of Fiona was enough to last me, but now Blaze for certain and possibly Chance and Zappa.  Scary stuff. 

Keep the 24 Paws of Love in your prayers.  Thank you.