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Friday, October 9, 2015
I had an inner peace that shone like gold. Not realizing until Chance stopped that I stopped with him. Walking together we had become a single unit.
When he stopped again, I thought, this is our zen moment. We are having a zen moment.
Chance sniffed the ground while I continued to observe what was happening here. My feet are tingling because...I'm rolling my feet! I'm not pounding the pavement with my heel. (like normal) Interesting! The blood was flowing through my toes and massaging my feet, making them feel alive and full of vigor.
What else? Chance is calm, focused and his movements are all smooth and swift. His fur was loose but firm as opposed to when we started when it was almost standing on end with anxiety and anticipation of the walk.
Something about his calmness in our zen moment made me realize, I didn't have to be afraid ever again. Brut was inside of my heart, Chance was outside created by Brut. I had nothing to fear. Chance claimed me then and there. We were both in such a calm groove that nothing could have disturbed our zen.
I tend to forget that Brut is inside his kids. They all have such defined personalities and demeanor, yet they were created by Brut and I will always have part of him in them. Hubby, Mark and I have talked about this before about how individual Zappa, Fiona, Chance and Blaze are it is easy to miss the Brut in them. Yet, every day they show more of their dad's true qualities and freedom to express themselves. All I have to do is open my heart a little wider to embrace the Brut in them.