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Brut Quote

Brut Quote

Monday, February 8, 2016

Did you get Puppy Fever when your dog died?

I did.  About a month after Brut died, that gaping hole in my heart was crying for someone to love.  This was after learning of someone my husband knew had a litter of Great Dane puppies that were all black.  My favorite color mixed with a dog I'd always wanted to have.  I was excited just thinking about it and it distracted me from the pain of losing Brut, but when I thought it through completely, I had to face the fact that I wasn't ready for another dog in our lives.  Six dogs had tipped the scales and even after most of the fear and misery that came with Brut was gone, five dogs was enough.  Five dogs were plenty and we had to take into consideration our living arrangement with two packs.  It didn't seem fair to bring in a puppy into that mess.  No we had our hands full with the two packs we had.  Getting through losing Brut was just the tip of the iceberg.

The Dane puppies were available about the time Brut's three month anniversary rolled around...puppy fever struck again.  I went through the usual excitement  and hot flashes of insanity, while trying to convince myself and hubby that this was the right move for us.  I mean, a Great Dane couldn't be more different from a Husky and I've always been attracted to large dogs and I always wanted one since I was a kid.  How much more perfect could this be?  Then the truth struck like a blow to the stomach and head, I couldn't do this to my Brut.  The dog that gave me my soul back.  The dog that saved my life and could read me like a book.  I wasn't ready.  I just wanted my Brut back.

I finally read up on Great Danes and discovered we were not a good match.  End of story.

My husband, Mark has a Christmas gift still to give me.  I immediately thought it might be a puppy.  And I got excited again.  Then I felt that blow in the pit of my stomach and felt guilty that I couldn't just get on with my life and get another dog.  Mark has got messages on FB about people asking if we have gotten another dog yet.  And I felt guilty that I was even thinking about getting a puppy.  It triggered off a wave of nostalgia for Brut.

Grief and timing are going to be everything when we come to that point in our lives to get another dog.  We both believe we will be lead by Brut to the right dog for us.  For now that will be a while.  Not to mention we have 'Mission Impossible' with the dogs we have now and meshing the two packs together. One thing made easier since Brut is gone, but will still be a huge challenge in itself.

So I'm sure I'll have bouts of puppy fever again and again, but for now that's all it will be.

What about you?  Do you have or did you get puppy fever when you lost your dog?

1 comment:

Val said...

It's been a week since our Gracie left us and just over a month since our Schatzie passed. My heart has a hole in it that only a dog(s) can fill, but it is far too early for us to even consider another pup. Think when our hearts are ready the right pup will find us. Bless you and your pack.