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Brut Quote

Brut Quote

Monday, December 17, 2012

A moment for myself

I'm going to take a few seconds and give myself a couple of pats of the backs.

Because I don't do it often enough.   

It takes a lot of guts to deal with an aggressive dog.  Not to mention mental and physical control.  A whole more than just getting rid of the dog.

Do you know how easy it is to have those thoughts in the heat of the moment?  Easy.  Believe me it has crossed my mind more than once about getting rid of him.  Yes, only as a thought.  Yes it is difficult.  How many throw-away-Brut's are out there?  Plenty I am sure.

Try reliving one of the worst nightmares you could witness as a child in current time.  A vicious attack between two Chows, only to find out later your aggressive dog has Chow in him as well.  Try balancing your panic and fear as a fight breaks out.  No tools, no advice, no guidance.  Your only thought the sheer terror of death.  

I don't think I am doing too bad.

Try looking for answers and only getting doors slammed in your face or coming up empty because of liability.  Behaviorist who kick your dog and a trainer who's two inches from suicide.  All this meaning I have to do it myself.  With no help except for a few tidbits of info to run on and not having a clue what I'm doing.  Couple that with a husband who's a first time dog owner and usually working.

Now tack on the knowledge that this is for a lifetime.  No matter how far Brut comes, there is a part of him that will always be like this.  Could you do it?  Have you?  Would you?

If someone had laid this all out before, I would have ran as fast and far and as I possibly could.  Despite my "heart dog" relationship with Brut it does nothing for love/hate relationship we have with each other.  Yes, Brut is a bastard.  And a rotten one at that.  Would I have done it all again knowing the knife that would be in my back.  I don't know.  Is he the dream dog I've always wanted?  Yes and no.  Do I still have the thoughts of getting rid of him when he is ruthless and vicious?  Yes.  And if I didn't know, love and understand him so well, the thought stays a thought.  There is a reason Brut is the way he is.  I would be dead if it wasn't for him.  He would be dead if it wasn't for me.  And it would take all of hell's angels to take us down and even then they could never tear us apart.

Heart beings for LIFE! 


bichonpawz said...

You are a very special person and I commend you for all you are willing to do for your dogs...especially Brut. You two really DO love each other...it just shows itself in different ways. Blessings to you.
Jeanne, Chloe and LadyBug

Unknown said...

Bravo. You are brave and kind. We could not do what you do. Have a marvelous Monday.
Best wishes Molly

El Shilo Elohim said...
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Collie222 said...

I am not sure I could deal with an aggressive dog. I am forever grateful that all my collies get along so well. I read what you go through, and I hope that things will improve...

GizmoGeodog said...

You've taken on a challenging task but with the love and patience you've shown you will succeed

How Sam Sees It said...

Brut was meant to be with you. There is one quote that always sticks out in my head from the Seabiscuit movie "You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause he's banged up a little bit." I always think of it when I question things myself.


Yas said...

Beautiful post!!
Thanks for sharing this with us!

Maxx and mommy

White Dog Blog said...

If we knew what was before us in life, I doubt that anyone would push their way out of the womb. The splendor and wonder of being truly engaged in life is feeling yourself evolve as you face challenges and find pieces of your heart in the least likely places. Like tina Turner says, "We don't do nothin' easy!" But the look back to view your progress is so sweet, isn't it? You are a Warrior, just like your boy. And you should both be more than proud. I applaud you.

Boss Mare Eventing said...

I have been there, I did what I could until it was too dangerous. I gave that dog two years of good life and I tried my best. You are a good person doing what you feel is right right now. He sure is a lucky boy to have you.

Emily said...

I've had to deal with this in minor ways with Madden's dog-dog food aggression. In fact we had an incident this morning when it had not happened in ages. My heart was racing and I was so upset but after it was over I just really thought, man I love that girl and I'm glad she has us--we may not always know the best way to handle things but we've never given up on her.
And how wonderful for Brut to have you even when you have those moments where it's just you and him and whatever stands in between the situation.