Being a stay-at-home dog mom, I don't have the structure of a job. Nothing is set in stone and the dogs and I operate on a flexible schedule.
I don't know if it makes it better or worse after a dog dies to be home all the time.
All day is a constant reminder. Every nook and cranny of the house holds some memory. And with my every actions centered around the dogs, it becomes difficult to think of nothing else, but them.
It took me until 2pm to get out of my robe today. Getting dressed seems like a big feat in between tears. It seems to take a thousand steps to grasp the idea of getting up and putting on clothes. But I did it.
The dogs help. They tend to nudge me along. They know when mommy gets dressed, it's time to go outside. I've been struggling lately to go outside with them. I'd rather curl up in a blanket and dream the world away.
The dogs have been in mourning as well. Fiona seems to be taking Silver's death much harder than I would have thought. We thought Zappa, being a Momma's Boy, would be having the harder time of the two of them. Fiona practically slept on top of me last night and stays clinging to Mark and I. Zappa acts more like a comforter for us and our tears.
I looked into Blaze's eyes today and burst into tears. They are so close to the color of Silver's.
My second big step today...writing this down to post. Mission accomplished.
© 2021 24 Paws of Love
Current blog look inspired by and dedicated to Chance, Blaze and Fiona who all kicked ass against cancer and liver disease.