Having eight animals in the house at the same time entitles me to have some pet peeves and a reason to vent. Six dogs and two cats is enough some days to send me over the top. Well, I've had all I can take and I'm laying down the law. And it's about time!
1. Any dog that chews on another remote will be sentenced to becoming our personal slave for manually turning the TV on and off, changing channels and adjusting the volume to our desire. All of this will be done without the luxury of treats. That's right. You heard me. And for your information, Fiona and Blaze the 'remote fairy' does not exist!
2. For any dog going in or out you will all be entering and exiting at the same time. I am not your personal door person for this intermittent parade that you continue to put on. If I have to miss one more twist on Law and Order because of getting up and down to let you in or out individually you will all be tied together on one line. That way you can all go out and come in at the same time. And we all know, nobody wants to be THAT close to Brut!
3. The fact that we have a dirt yard does not give you permission to roll in as much dirt as possible to bring in and leave on my bed. That's right MY bed. Are you back talking me Zappa? The fact that the bed is left unmade all day isn't the issue! Opposable thumbs or not the next one who showers my bed with dirt will learn how to use hand held vacuum to clean my bed every night. ALONG with washing all your pack mates paws and will receive a BATH! And here's the real kicker, A BATH, WITH THE USE OF THE HAIR DRYER!! You have escaped this horror of machines many times, but this time you will be blasted!!
And this is only the beginning...HeHeHeHe
