My Best Friends

Friendship.  That was my answer when asked what I would say is the greatest benefit for owning a pet when 24 Paws of Love was nominated for eCollegeFinder Top Pet Blog Award.

It never takes me long to answer: it is my relationship with my dogs that is most precious gift I have.  It doesn't matter what I do with them, whether it is the simple basics like feeding or poop duty, to those priceless intimate moments with them, it is always our friendship that is at the core of our interactions.

Simply put I would not be here, have this blog or be able to tell you the soul importance of this friendship.  Pets have saved my life a thousand times over and are the only reason I know what true love is.  I was blessed to have animals in my life that I knew cared for me and could trust to hold on to that truth to carry me through what was a horrible childhood.  And when I escape that, my dogs and cats were there through every tear and cries of pain as a began the tumultuous healing journey when there was no one there to help me through.  And they were always there.  Every time by my side.  Never once did I have to take a step alone.  And they were true friends, giving me just what I needed, right when I needed it.  Never once have they let me down.

And as I continue to follow this path of healing we have learned to grow together.  For they too have their own fears and pain that they are learning to heal from and I do my best to return what they have taught me to give.  Warmth, compassion, and understanding.    A two way street of looking over each others shortcomings with an outpouring of unconditional love and the respect to be who we are as individuals and as a whole.  

What better friendship could you ask for?

Just look at all of this love!
*******************************************************

Thanks to Life with Dogs, Confessions of the Plume and The Two Cavaliers

Dear Brut,

How can I actually put in words how I feel when most of our discussions are without them?  How do I describe the force of nature you are that catapults me into action, be it a need for a walk or your controlling nature to have things your own way?  Is there really a way to say how much I have needed you in my life, though if I'd known what bringing you home entailed, I don't know if I would have followed through with it?  For how was I to know I was receiving the gift of a dog with the attitude of a tiger that would teach me the blessings of respect for that fierceness in your heart?  You demanded respect above all else that would force me to rise to a higher level of understanding you and myself.  A respect that can't be measured but that is truly honored.  For you have taught me more about myself than any human could begin to.  It became more than an understanding between us, it was as if we were torn from the same cloth.

I had never realized the depths that a canine and human could have until you came into my life.  We have both been torn by a civilized world and our wild instinct with a desperate craving to be ourselves .  Somehow for those moments when we are leashed together we experience that inner freedom through each other and what some day lies ahead.  Together we posses a beautiful instinct to live, a rare gift when we are able to let the beast in us exist.  We both hunger for the release and the right to express ourselves. 

There are no lies in who you are and it is that raw energy that I fear in you that I also embrace.  You have taught me how to harness that energy without destroying it and I will always love you for that.  There is no comfort greater in this world than you having my back.  You have brought out a strength in me that I didn't know I had.  You have taught me how to use it without force but with recognition.  You are more than just my buddy or pal, you are my canine soul-mate, here for a purpose and reason.  How can I begin to thank you for just being here when everything you have given me has been more than just being here?  What a rare and treasured gift you are and thank God there is only one of you!  :)

Forever Brut, I love you.
Mommy 

Who is Zappa?

Who am I?

I asked myself this question on a walk with Zappa.  Just him and I on the trails of the forest.  I have seen the cute, puppy-like face, with that adorable expression and wise old eyes always giving kisses and hugs.  A heartwarming dog, gentle in manner, sweet and lovable.  His other attributes are outsmarting his father, Brut and defending himself against the sinister Fiona during playtime.  He tends to be a bit of a loner, like his mother Silver, which is how he comes to be pester by Fiona.  She wants to play.  He is all mouth and always starts the "Howling Choir" performance.  He can be tough when he needs to be but truly is more of a lover and an intense thinker, pondering the world around him.  This is the Zappa I see every day, until we are alone, pacing through the forest or streets of our neighborhood.  It then I begin to wonder, Who is Zappa?

The Bad Boy comes out

As we hit the trails, I began the notice the change.  Zappa seems to stand taller and his shoulders are broader, as if he's finally fitting into his own skin.  His nose is on fire as he calculates every scent he encounters.  His coat is bristled as if taking every sight and sound is radiating through the tips of  his fur.  He is electrified with the rush of the tale that is being filter through the collection of his senses.

I watch this metamorphic transformation as his primitive senses override the sweet, innocent puppy dog I know and witness Zappa come into his own.  His manner becomes brusque, like I am walking a bear.  His eyes dare me to question him.  He wants to be the one in control.  His demand is subtle but this proud dog is asking for my respect.

Respect me

This rebirth of Zappa happens every time we are away from the pack.  Most of the time it is difficult to detect.  It hasn't been until recently that I have picked up on his clues.  This walk he didn't hold back.  Everything in him was alive and charged.  The true Zappa ringing forth.

I have come to realize that I have a family of independent dogs and they are always asking my respect.  Whether it is as demanding as Brut and as delicate as Zappa, and I know I have a long ways to go with all of them.  Zappa taught me a valuable lesson, I have to earn my respect with him, just as much, if not more than I did with Brut.  Zappa showed me who he is, now it was my turn to show him who I am.  And I thought dogs were all about sit and stay...BOL!!  What an exciting journey to embark upon.

Earn it!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Now sing if with me...R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me...

You can't have any relationship without respect.  I believe this includes your dog.  Where did I learn this valuable lesson?  Yep, you guess it, Mr. Brut.  That boy demanded respect from the time we brought him home.  He commanded to be heard, acknowledged, and the freedom to be the proud dog he is.  

Respect blew doors wide open between Brut and I and taught me about equality in a human-dog relationship. While I have always had a high respect for animals, Brut helped to take to another level.  I have never been comfortable with the master-slave relationship, but didn't honestly find the total freedom from this idea until we got Brut.  He taught me the true meaning of respect.  Loving unconditionally, trusting with affection and giving him the space to become the dog he is today.

Conventional training suffocated both of us.  It never gave us the space to grow or be ourselves.  It bound us. Our spirits are too restless and creative to conform to standards not to mention we weren't being true to ourselves.  Which I find is the key, being true to ourselves.  Being who we really are and accepting each other as we are.

I have struggle with this most of my life.  I have struggle with accepting Brut for how he is.  Dealing with his dog aggressions has not been easy.  I have hated that part of him for a long time.  The day I looked into those eyes and saw the aggressor in him, I didn't see a killer.  I saw a dog full of hurt and immense pain that made my heart stop.  He was suffering.  I understood his pain for it was my own.  I never looked at him the same again.

From there it took our relationship to another level of respect.  He taught me to give him more and he gave it back in return.  Each step leading us closer to healing with a higher regard for each other.  We were both trying to break free from that box of rules that others were trying to shove us in.  There is a deeper meaning to our relationship that can only be explained with our eyes.  I have carried this value on to each puppy that was born from our litter, each of our dogs, our cats, our duck, and every creature I have encounter.

Life is too short not to savor every precious moment.  To learn to understand and accept another.  There is nothing sweeter than a meaningful relationship that encompasses respect and love.  When Brut looked me in the eyes that day, I did not deserve the respect he gave me, but he gave it to me anyways.  I was humbled, because I hadn't earned it and he still gave it to me.  The ultimate love.  I believe he knew far greater my struggles with him than I knew and because he understood, he gave me what I needed most, respect.

To understand how my hate towards Brut came about you can read A Little Bit About Brut and Me.