Current blog look inspired by, dedicated to, and in memory of Brut. The studded star of the 24 Paws of Love.

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Brut Quotes

Brut Quotes

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Dear Brut,

I'll never forget that day that we brought you home so long ago, November 22, 2006.

You were a little fluff of terror at 6 weeks old.  Two days later on Thanksgiving, I didn't know what to do or how to go on keeping you.

You scared the begeezes out of me and I couldn't explain the terror I felt anymore than I could explain why you acted so wild and untamed.

And then I see this picture of innocence and sweetness and I remember the day I took it.  We had finally made a connection and had an understanding.  It was so precious how you would peek at me over the board then run back to the couch and wait for me to give you a treat.  It was the beginning of many connections between us that we built on for any obstacle we encounter and when we couldn't overcome, we still connected.  I'll always remember that day.

And while I can't physically remember every day of your life with me, the memories are stored in my heart and channeled to my soul so that you are always with me.  You transformed my life, how does one repay that.

Today would have been your 9th Gotcha Day.
I love you more than life itself, Bruter boy,
Thank you for taking the journey with me,

Love and miss you forever,


Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Walking with the Wise Dog.

The weather was gorgeous and was close to 70!  Quite rare around these parts, especially in November!

Despite the sunshine and warm temps, today was exasperating.  I awoke from a nightmare I couldn't shake.  Hasn't happened in a long time, but my day started off very slowly and not so great.  I had to scold Fiona for pouncing on Boxer (our cat) when they were outside and for the fact she wasn't listening to me at all when she was doing it.  I went to put her in her crate for a time out and she wouldn't go in it.  Then she made a lunge after Zappa when I went to give him his treat.  Yes, Fiona is a chip off her ol' dad, Brut.  She is not as fierce as her dad, but some treats under the right conditions can get her fired up.  And I yelled at her again.


Then it was walk time and the last thing I wanted to do.  I was tired and just didn't feel like doing it.  Eventually I talked myself into 5 short walks with each dog.  Zappa was first.

Oh, I wish I knew how to describe Zappa and our walk.  He was so gentle and light footed.  Not pulling or rushing, like he was tiptoeing through the trees. The whole walk was in the woods at sunset.  I let him guide me and I felt the stress of my night and day trickle down my fingers into the crunchy leaves and moist Earth.

We followed many deer paths and scared up quite a few that were just on the outskirts of the trees.  The walk got longer and longer and I forgot all my cares and worries of the other dogs.  It was just me and Zappa right now.

Do you what it like to have your hair tied up and let it down with the wind?  That's what it was like.  I could almost feel the breeze blowing through my soul.  It was so beautiful.

Those were the kind of walks I used to have with Brut when I was tense and I just wanted to runaway with him into the woods and forget everything.

Wonder if Brut was with us today?

Zappa is our old soul dog and the wisest of all five.  We have been tuning into each other and he must have known what I needed.  No doubt.  It was a wonderful walk and shared time together.  Brut would have been proud of his son taking such good care of me.  :)

Monday, November 2, 2015

Silver Joins in the Healing

While the loss of Brut has changed our lives forever, part of those changes are silent blessings.  We've witnessed some pretty amazing things with Silver showing more of herself without her mate and the Brut Regime.  They are tender sweet memories that have made me smile in awe through the sadness this summer and fall, for I know she too has been through a huge loss as well and shows me how to carry on.

Silver by far has made the biggest changes as she bonds more tightly with her kids, Zappa and Fiona.  Silver has a life all her own.  At twelve years old this is her second big loss, after the death of Alex (her first love) and she continues to carry that spunk and energy that is all her after losing Brut.

One of the first things I noticed was her love of toys, especially balls, came back.  Being that she is part retriever she has always like a good game of fetch.  When Brut came along she didn't get to play very much because Brut, being the stud he was, always wanted to mount her.  Which then would usually start off a game of chase between the two.  But now, we can play fetch a little longer without the interruption.  It doesn't last over five throws, but the joy on her face and the bounce in her body is enough for this crafty girl to have a good time.

The second thing I noticed since Brut's death with Silver is she started joining in on the hunt with her kids.  Ever since we got Silver she has always been a hunter, bringing me mice and such and dropping them at my feet.  Then we got Brut.  And he was a fanatic about hunting chipmunks and squirrels.  Just crazy!  I can't believe he actually let Zappa and Fiona hunt with him without serious repercussions.  Silver basically stayed out of the game when the puppies came along, so to see her join in with them was awesome!  It is like watching someone getting back to their roots and being reborn.  So beautiful.

Then this happened the other day:  Fiona and Zappa started up a game of chase and Silver was part of it.  That was true beauty!  The first couple of time when Zappa and Fiona started chasing each other, Silver looked so lost.  She just laid there with her head down, missing Brut.  So when I saw the Trio chasing and romping around with it each other, it melted my heart.  The healing has been incredible with these three.  I hope to bring more updates of their progress, because it is like a miracle to watch.


Thursday, October 29, 2015

Flashback Friday-the Proud Parents and Grandparents

 the Proud Parents 
of ten puppies 
(born Jan.2, 2008)

Grandma under the Puppy Blanket

Grandpa says goodbye to Chance...
Never knowing that Chance will come back and seize his heart.

I love my kids, but they are cutting into my nap time! 

Tell me about it!

Come join hosts Five Sibes and Love is being owned by a Husky for Flashback Friday!

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

It was never his time...I didn't know

I've been afraid to write this for fear of it being misconstrued by some who might say that we didn't do the right thing with Brut.  I won't apologize for any of what happen and last I knew, Brut was our dog, not yours.

So with that being said, I share my experience, strength, hope and weaknesses of how I didn't know.

Brut changed my line of thinking about everything that was dog.  He challenged me to think outside of the box.  He wanted me to open my mind to the possibilities that existed, like how they think and see the world, but mostly he wanted me to understand him.  Brut insisted that I learn how to communicate with him on his level, using non-verbal expression and he wanted me to learn how to interpret that line of communication by listening to him.  He even did this until his death this past summer.

Brut taught me of his moods and how to read his body language.  I'd give you an example but I am horrible at translating them to another human.  I just needed to be able to understand his dog language.  It didn't matter if anyone else understood it, it was just important that I did.

As I went through my own adjustments to interpreting Brut, something started to sink in that he had his own way of thinking and ideas about what he wanted.  And that included his death.

Brut told me everything how he was feeling, what he was thinking and whether I got it all or not, I practiced with him to get better at delving into his soul to understand more.  The conversations we could have with just his ears alone was mind boggling.  There was so much more to it than Brut showing me he was angry or happy.  We were able to converse about what we were seeing and doing together.  I thought I knew that boy almost inside out.

So you'd think with this bonding connection that I would know when it was 'time.'  In fact I swore up and down I would know.  How could I not?  Hubby, Brut and I made a pact that the three of us had to be in agreement on the timing.

Whatever happened we would all decide together.

You'd think that with all of the secrets we have shared together, Brut and I, he would have let me in on this one, but Brut, being Brut, had his own agenda.

See I let go of Brut sometime after seeing the x-ray, about two weeks before he died.  I knew then his time was short and it confirmed what I felt.  Brut was dying.

After letting go, I don't know why, but I came to realize that the final decision was between Brut and Mark.

Mark was still hanging on with all hopes and prayers that there was still a chance to save him.  And Brut made it clear he wasn't going any where until Mark was ready.

They slept the last five nights together on the living room floor.  Two nights before his death Mark told Brut through a flood of tears, "If you want me to let you go, I will."

The next day Brut's breathing was short and shallow.  He was also the most alert I'd seen him in a long time.

And for some reason even with this knowledge I still didn't 'know'.  I knew it like a math problem and that it fit together and made sense that it was his time, but Brut never told me and so I didn't know.

And when we called the vet to come to the house the following day, I still didn't know.

And for several days after that I kept asking Mark, "Did we do the right thing?"  He always answered yes and I trusted him.

I would have never believed if you told me I wouldn't know when Brut's time was.  It would have a ludicrous for me to even imagine.  The dog who told me everything, told me to trust Mark.  And that was all he whispered.  

Friday, October 23, 2015

Flashback Friday-Zappa and Fiona at the Lake

Funny how fast time flies and yet I can remember this day with Zappa and Fiona at the lake like it was yesterday.  It was their first time leaving the yard to a new and exciting place, their first time in water and their first time running free.  What happen to my little puppies?   :)

They were just four months old and acted like they ruled the world!

Just try and catch me big brother!

Gotcha lil' sister!

If you have a memory or picture you'd like to share on Flashback Friday, join on the blog hop HERE!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

WW-Brut's Roses: A second burst of blooms

They were suppose to die off in mid-September, but Brut's roses weren't giving up that easy.  Remind you of anyone?  :)  

While we've had good weather, we've also had small bouts of cold rain, sleet, snow and high winds that didn't cause a whimper.  I guess there's a reason they are called Knock Out Roses!  They just keep blooming!

And hubby Mark, always just looks at me and says, "Is it any wonder?  Look at who's under there!"

That's my Bruter Boy!

Have a happy Wednesday!