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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

This is Jack-Pup #5

Thought I'd shake things up a bit with pictures of one of Brut and Silver's pups named Jack that we were so honored to be able to visit.

All Jack wanted from us were belly rubs.  Here's hubby Mark scratching away at Jack's belly.

You can see the white "T" on his chest for which I named him T-bone when he was with us.  Now he's known as Jack.  

It was so great to see Jack and see how well he is doing.  Happy and healthy and going strong! ☺
Isn't he a handsome boy!

Monday, October 27, 2014

Brut Self-Love

I've needed dogs all my life, they were my mentors on love, but I never needed I dog as badly as I needed Brut.  He's been teaching me the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn and one that only he could teach.  Self-love.

I've been in a downward spiral of self hate for most of my life and living thru the memories of my childhood abuse (PTSD) only made things worse.

I think it is why I related with and loathe Brut's aggression.  It made me face myself and that was the last thing I knew how to do.

There was a part of me that loved his freedom and power to express himself.  Nobody walks all over Brut.  I struggled to reclaim that power in my own life.  To have the confidence and strength that would stop myself from my own self beatings.

And I hated Brut too for his aggression and the violence and cruelty it portrayed.  It became a cycle that I couldn't see.

I fought hard for my heart dog.  Even before I knew a word that described him.  Little did I know that every time I faced Brut, I faced myself.

Brut's aggression would go from 0 to 60 and back in a matter of breaths.  I took a little longer on my end of forgiveness.  

No matter if it was my fault or his for a fight, eventually I came around to forgiving him and most
important, I continued to love him.  And every time I loved him, a little piece of me was loved.

This awful, horrible being I grew up thinking I am, was chipping away when I was confronted with Brut and his aggression.  For I already knew the beautiful being Brut was. I was shocked to discover much later he was thinking the same thing about me.

It has taken many years of dog's unconditional love that kept me believing in love at all. It was Brut that started breaking down that self prison with every growl, snarl, and gnashing of his teeth to wake this girl up and set her free.


Friday, October 17, 2014

A girl, a dog and a bike. A short story

Girl hooks dog up to bike.

They take off down driveway

They land in ditch across the street

Girl and dog laugh like crazy

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

In the Moment

You'll have to forgive me for my love affair with my dogs and the lessons they teach me about how to live.

See I've never had anything of a future before and have just learned to survive moment to moment, so I've never had the essence to capture life and hold on to it.

And this is where you'll have to forgive my special and private life with the dogs whom I capture in my heart and mind instead of on camera.

My husband, Mark is the one who wants to record everything, minute by minute, while I tend to just savor the intimate moments the dogs and I share.

It feels like a disruption stopping the world for that moment.  Life is already too fast and fleeting and when I'm in the moment the last thing I want to do is stop it.

And so I do the next best thing and write about these moments.  Pen and paper are my recorder.

Where I envelop the moment all over again and bring it to you the only way I know how.  With words.  Strung together for your pleasure to see and feel what I do in those moments.

Those precious moments with the 24 Paws of Love.