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Brut Quotes

Brut Quotes

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Silver's heart will shine on



Today marks Silver's one year anniversary since her passing.  The week has been hard leading up to today, but today I feel released and at peace.  I think about her every day and see so many of her qualities in her kids that shine through even more since they lost their mother, Silver.  In return, I see more of Silver every day.  Things I couldn't see before as strongly as I can now.  Mostly her giant, gentle heart.  She was such a beautiful mother to her kids and to me.  Those nurturing qualities have been passed on to her kids, in different ways and forms.  Silver's heart will shine on.



A poem I wrote shortly after Silver died, that speaks true today:

In the depths of blackness
I have wondered if I could ever love again
Another dog
Not knowing how to love the ones
I have
It was like the love just
drained from me
into the dirt
and I didn't know if I
could feel again
How could this human
bear that pain again
It doesn't seem possible
As someone once said to me
Intensely we love
Intensely we grieve
And it feels like my heart
can not bear
anymore
Not one more ounce of the loss
until I wake from my death coma
to know Silver's love is still
there
in every ounce of blood
coursing with love
Four puppies who lost
their mother
and I am renewed
I am not alone




Monday, January 8, 2018

Chance, my soul, spirit and love dog



Chance is my second heart dog.  He is the son of my first heart dog Brut.  A heart dog is a dog that is like your canine soul mate.  You connect on a different  and more personal level.  Brut and I were like twins.  And it is not much different with Chance, though we don't reach the extremes that Brut and I did.

 Brut consumed so much of my time, attention and energies.  It was a wonder I could even take care of the rest of the packs.  He was a very complex dog with deep inner fears and had an aggression towards other dogs.  My entire being was based on his mood.  I never really swore or vowed consciously, but I didn't want to go through what I did with Brut again.  Thank God, there was only one Brut.

Since Brut died, for me, it has been about having equal time with each dog. Trying to make my time fair to each pack and each dog.  And while it has become the norm, to go back and forth, it can still be a challenge.  Especially when there is a special need to attend to, like a sick or hurt dog.  Or maybe someone just needs mom's touch and love.  Breaking it down two dogs in each pack helps and makes it more simple. 





Then there's Chance.  Chance seeks me out.  He goes out of his way to be close to me.  He doesn't demand attention like Brut did.  He is happy with every moment we have together.  It's our walks and playtime together that really bring it home for me.  There is just something about Chance that is special and full of heart.  Chance is a very quiet dog.  He only barks when he sees something outside and for that he's a very good watchdog.  He doesn't whine or snarl or cry, in fact he rarely "talks."  But he has this sing song woo-woo he always gives before a walk that just lifts my entire spirit.  He makes me want to sing with him.  There is something about that little woo-woo that tells me how he feels about what he wants and that he's ready to walk with me.

Chance isn't much for cuddling or very much petting, but he will get up on the couch with me when he needs me.  I never ask it of him, he comes up on his own free will.  The couch is small enough that we are always touching when he's up there and for him to even consider getting up on the couch with me, tells me he wants to be close.




Another way he shows me he cares is when he lets me hug him, something he will only partake in if he initiates it. Well, the other day I was so down about not being able to sled with him anymore, that I laid down next to him, put my arm around him and just stayed like.  We stayed like that for some time.  Chance is so compassionate and forgiving that way.  He knew I was sad and he let me hold him in my time of need.

What make all of these acts so memorable is the vibe that is going on when we are together.  It is this vibe that is like music through my heart and soul that digs into a connection I've only had with Brut.  It is alive.  It is electric.  And it is real.  Just me and Chance.  Always.  All the time.  It is like unblocking a blood vessel and feeling the blood rush to your brain showering you with love and life.



I haven't a clue still what to call Chance, as I am reserving the name "heart dog" for Brut.  Soul dog, love dog, spirit dog, they all fit, but it is like naming a cloud, the form is in constant evolution.  As I believe our relationship will continue to change and grow like life.

I don't know where Chance is taking me, but hold on!  It is one wild dance!

What is your experience with your heart dog?




Thursday, January 4, 2018

The "Puppies" 10th Birthday Party

♪Happy Birthday to You...♬ 


First was presents!
One for Fiona... 


And one for Zappa! 


 Fiona was very frustrated, that there was no squeaky, just a voice box.  She wasn't impressed.  
Thank God there was stuffing to grab out!
lol!


Zappa wasted no time... 


 tearing the crap out of the dog head.  lol


 She can smile!!

Then it's to the Front Pack for their birthday gifts...

where you can hear the barking of the toy's voice box.
The Front Dogs were excited at first, but not overly impressed.
Chance kept looking for the " barking dog."

Then it was time for cake!

Fiona gulped hers down, while Zappa was still licking the cottage cheese frosting!

And while we couldn't set the cakes down in front of the Back Dogs for a shot like this,(Fiona!) my trusty Front Dog may have had a hard time but got the shot for us.

CHOW TIME!

This is the most we've done for a doggie birthday party, including balloons and hats (which didn't go over too well).  But we had fun and I think the dogs did too.  And any ways it is such a milestone, with hopefully many more to come.

Happy Birthday Kids!

Have you ever gone all out on a birthday celebration for your dogs?  Tell us about it in comments!

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

The First Sign of the Bottom Falling Out

It's the "puppies" tenth birthday.  10 years old today.

We took Fiona to the vet today.  I know, not a very nice birthday present.  We wanted to get some x-rays of her hip dysplasia and check the status of it.  The last x-rays we did were when she was diagnosed at three years old, so we were looking for any major changes.  Fiona's hip were good, at least as good as they could be.  She hasn't had any pain since fall, but it was good to check.

Then the vet and us starting talking about Chance and how we could get him in for an x-ray.  He is very scared of the vets and screams before they even touch him.  We end up having to pin him down for shots or blood draws and we use a muzzle on him because he will get snappy.    It is always a tough situation.  The poor guy is just petrified of the whole thing.

So, our vet came up with an idea, and we were talking about what kind of x-ray to get.  A cancer screening (chest and abdomen) like we've gotten with all the dogs so far.  I was also interested in checking for arthritis and finding out if Chance was well enough to continue dog sledding.  I told her I was already seeing signs of arthritis in his lower back and she concluded that it would be much to painful for him to dog sled because of the compression on the vertebrae.

Tears sprung to my eyes.  My heart sunk.  Chance has always been my main dog sledding dog.  He runs with the power and speed of stallion.  And for those moments, when we sled together, it is like riding a race horse.

It isn't like I didn't know it would end, or that the arthritis would stop him, I've known all along.  I think I just needed to hear the words from someone I trusted and make it official.  And really we have only been out sledding the last three or four years very sporadically because we didn't have hardly any snow.  I guess God was letting us down easy through those years and now it is time to let go.

And while all the dogs are still in good health, it is a sign of the times that they are getting older and that every year with them is a gift.  It breaks my heart about not dog sledding with Chance, but hopefully it will lengthen his life for the better without doing it anymore.

But I think we are both going to miss it...

I know, kind of sad story for their birthday, but that's only because we haven't had the party yet!  Birthday party pics, coming soon!

Monday, January 1, 2018

Toasting to Healthy Dogs

Blaze:  Did she say healthy?

Chance:  Mmmm...more carrots...


We are giving a toast to our dogs and yours, for healthy dogs.

Don't worry, Chance, Blaze, Zappa and Fiona are all very healthy and we would like to keep it that way for this New Year (and many more to come!)

We would love the share this toast with you and your dogs as well.

May we all have a Happy and Healthy New Year!



Carrots?  Where?

Thursday, December 28, 2017

FINALLY! Dog walks today

This last week with Christmas as been touch and go as far as walks.  Then when the temperature plummeted, the dogs and I were feeling so disconnected from each other.  There isn't much "playtime" with these four, not even between them anymore.  There only form of chase is chasing squirrels and even they were few and far between with the dipping temperatures.  So walks are pretty important on all levels, including me.

Everyone was feeling it yesterday, but our chance finally came today as the temperatures rose to 15F.  I didn't feel like going out in the cold, but I know I had to take the opportunity and it was so worth it!

I took everyone separate.  It's easier on my back that way.  It wasn't as cold as I thought and it didn't take long to get into the grove.  Zappa was first as he usually is.  He's my easy walker until he gets by himself and wants to direct the entire walk.  He's so bossy!  :) 

Fiona wanted to walk through the woods.  The trudge through the thick snow was difficult even with snowmobile tracks going down the path, but at least there was some kind of path.  The walk was short and sweet, just like Fiona.

Blaze wanted to pull.  And I mean PULL.  I was so tempted to hook her up to the sled and let her take me down the road.  She was so focused and centered.  And the road...the road was perfect for sledding.  But I resisted temptation, wrapped the leash around my shoulder blade and let her pull me up and down the road.

And then, last but not least was Chance.  My sweet boy Chance.  He has a way of wooing that sends tickles up and down my spine.  He had become the grouchiest of all the dogs with that lack of connection and finally we were going to connect.  To the road, the snow, the cold and to each other.  And that we did. 

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

So cold, but the snow is pretty

We saw the sun for the first time in about a month, after waking up to -2F.

Our high was 11F.  
We haven't been able to walk the dogs.
It is too cold for them part-time Huskies.

The Back Dogs were out back and after business was taken care of, you'd see one foot lift up, then another, as they hobbled to the door.

We have a whole week of this arctic weather and don't know when we will "warm up."  
I miss our walks.  I know the dogs do too.
Hopefully we'll catch a break soon.

Keep warm my friends.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Merry Christmas Blogville!

From the wisdom of Zappa's eyes,


to the bottom of our 24 Paws...

We wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Christmas Header-Now there are two



I was going to wait until Christmas Eve to unveil the header, but what fun would that be?  :)

This year's Christmas header was especially difficult.  It was hard to find a good face shot of Silver.  Which meant I went through almost every picture I had of her.  After two weeks of looking, I finally broke down and cried and cried and cried.  Last year at this time Silver was sick from cancer and we were trying to get her to eat.  As much as it all hurts, at least she is free now from all pain.  

Taking pics of the kids was pretty easy.  They'll do anything for a treat...well, almost anything!  They are part Husky you know.  For Chance and Blaze it is second nature for them to pose, they are like professional models.  It's a little different for Fiona and Zappa, as Fiona doesn't let Zappa get too close to him when there are treats.  She is so much like her Father, Brut.  lol

One thing I realized looking through all those pictures of Silver, Brut and family, is that I didn't have enough.  I went through a couple of really tough years of depression and I barely took any photos those years.  I have repeated this same cycle grieving through Brut and then Silver.  I don't want to look back and not have enough memories of my puppies. 

Enough said.

p.s.I'd like to thank my husband for the awesome design idea for the Christmas header.  It was all his idea.  All I did was take and find photos and put it all together.  ;)

We make a good team.





Monday, December 18, 2017

Fighting through personal obstacles

For the past year, I haven't had the words I want to express.  To share in the pain of losing Silver and the joy of bonding with her kids on a deeper and strengthened level. 

I don't know how to tell you of the strides we are making, in some of the most complex areas of our four dog's life.  I always feel so guilty for not being able to write about them for they have become of lives now.  I can not count the number of times I've sat down at my computer with great intent to share a particular event only to have it all vanish the minute my fingers pose over the keys.

I've also discover that the words aren't going to just come to me like before.  No it seems I have to work through them to find where I am going. 

So I'm pushing through...

To show you the miracles that are happening every day at the 24 Paws of Love.  The incredible relationships that are happening with Brut and Silver's kids.  And all the trials and errors that we go through on a daily basis. 

I guess I feel like it is my comeback song.  I want the records I have of Chance, Fiona, Blaze and Zappa like I do for Brut and Silver.  I want to look back and have all those memories written down, not only to share with you, my dear readers, but for me as well. 

I'm tired of mourning.  Not that it isn't going to happen.  This will be our first Christmas without Silver and I don't expect it will be easy.  Just like when her year anniversary comes about in January, I expect to have a mourning period. 

But...

I don't want to miss out on our time with the these beautiful, wonderful dogs and not have those memories stored away, so I can look back some day after they are gone and know they got their equal time on the blog. 

So if you can bear with me as I push through my obstacles, we'll get the 24 Paws of Love blog rolling!  And with more pics.  I'm so far behind on my photography!  I'll share some of my discoveries about that after Christmas!

Love you guys!