Current blog look inspired by, dedicated to, and in memory of Brut. The studded star of the 24 Paws of Love.

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Brut Quotes

Brut Quotes

Friday, August 28, 2015

Just Popping In...

Hello blogger friends!

Just popping in for a few minutes to say hi and let you know how we are.  Hubby, Mark and I are doing OK considering it has been 10 long weeks since we buried Brut.  The weeks are flying by as the permanent loss of him gets deeper and deeper into my soul.  I haven't felt Brut's presence in weeks.  I am just so empty and lost without him, yet I still have good memories.

One thing I lost was that fear in my heart of Brut being an aggressive dogs with other dogs.  I still had a twinge of it whenever he got close to one of the dogs and then I would remember to breathe, quietly and normally as he passed by or interacted with them.  It is amazing how much fear I carried about Brut from the time he was a puppy until his release.  It was a blessing that came with his death and I have chosen to embrace it.

The rest of the 24 Paws have also been released of thier fears as well.  They continue to greive along with us.  The girls (Fiona, Silver and Blaze) seem to be having the hardest time losing Brut.  While Chance and Zappa seemed to be greiving our loss and being our comforters.

The roses on Brut's grave are just starting to end their cycle for the summer.  I did see maybe one more bud that may come to bloom, but it is really too early to tell, as we are starting to have signs of the fall season upon us.  And soon the colors will change and it will be our first autumn without Brut...

And so the cycle of grief and life continue like a never ending wheel.

That's all for today.



Take care,
Patty and the 24 Paws of Love

Thursday, August 20, 2015

60 Days Gone,My Best Friend

Since my better half is taking a Repreive for awhile from Blogging,I am going to try to give Updates on our Blog.
Every morning I have been having Dog Talk Time with each Pack and I try to have my video going in case something happens with the Dogs,who love to chase chip munks and squirrels.

Well on this day on tues,It marked 60 days since we laid Daddy Dog Brut to rest.Sorry it is 9 mins long,but it does show what we do the morning each day.I really do not know what I would do,if I did'nt have the rest of my Paws to help me make it through another day without my Bruter Boy.




Or watch on YouTube HERE.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

A much needed repreive

Losing Brut has been one of the hardest parts of our life that I have gone through and I'm exhausted with emotions, numbness and depression.  So  I've decided to take a blogging break for while.  

I don't know how long I'll be gone, so I will leave you with this:  A post I never posted about Brut long before we knew he was sick.  I still feel this way about him now.



It almost scares me how deep my love for Brut can be.  The trust, security and the devoted loyalty given at no cost.  How my core fears calm when I can curl up inside of him.  

Understanding and knowing each other inside and out.  And the whole world dissipates from looking into his eyes.  

I have always trusted dogs, but I don't think I've ever opened my soul to one so willingly and with such ease.  There is a comfortable that moves like my own body.  If I were a dog I would be Brut.  If Brut was a person he would be me.  That's how extreme we are.  We are almost interchangeable and yet each of us are so unique with our own personalities and differences.  Sometimes we can be the exact opposite of each other.  

Sounds like a marriage, doesn't it?

That is what it is like with my heart dog Brut.  


Take care of yourself my friends.


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Life and walking the dogs.

I didn't want to walk the dogs.  It had been an emotional and tiring day and I was thinking of taking the night off.  It wasn't fair to them that they were laying around for me and crying over Brut.  They were hurting too.  The dogs needed a walk just as much as I did...so I gathered my courage and the leashes to walk the Back Dogs Trio, Silver, Zappa and Fiona.  Something I don't do too often, but tonight seemed like a perfect evening for it.

It didn't take long for our spirits to rise and get our hearts pumping.  I took a very safe dog-free route and there was something very cool about walking the trio around the block.  It was pretty awesome!  While they were quick walkers, they did really well altogether.  At one part of the walk, Fiona wanted to go her own way and take everyone with her, but we manage to negotiate and had a really great walk.

After my walk with the trio, I came home more than ready to take on the speedy Front Dogs. They are always a blast to walk!  And so much more discplined than Fiona and Zappa.  We kicked ass around the block and it felt so good to be moving.  I mean really moving.  Since there is something about death that slows your whole world to a stop and then just lingers there.  I even got to run part of the stretch, something I haven't been able to do very much of due to joint issues.  It just felt fluid.  The cool wind in my hair.  The fresh air surrounding me and a nice break from the heat we had yesterday.  And running with my two favorite dogs, Chance and Blaze.  It had been a while since I'd felt life.

And as I sat outside, cooling down from our sweaty walk and feeling the satisfaction in the dogs, I felt the acceptance of my life as it was now, without Brut.  And I was OK with that.  In that moment all was in it's place and everything was in order.  And I felt peace.

And about the minute I realized my acceptance, I felt the plucking of sadness on my heart.  Not totally willing to give over.  For it was only hours ago that I crying over my boy and missing him so.

It was a wolf video, you may have seen on FB that reminded me and made me ache for Brut.  A person stands by theirselves, a pack of wolves come running and I am fixated on the alpha male who licks their face like crazy.  I watched intently as he controls the pack with growls and looks even pinning the lower ranking wolves in submission.  He reminds me so much of Brut, but on a smaller scale.  Brut could just give a look and everyone would turn the other way.  The sounds!  I never thought I would miss those growls and snarls so much and the power that was thrown around for his own respect.  The video is awesome and beautiful.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Brut Runaway

I've been crying all day over Brut today.  I went to look for a collar for our cat Boxer to wear and get used to, when I came across two of Brut's baby canine teeth and cried.  Doing some simple tricks with the Back and Front Dogs and I broke into tears remembering how we all used to work together on sit, lay down, rollover.  Glancing directly into Chance's eye and seeing his dad in him made me tear up.  So many little things about Brut that are bringing on the water works.

When I feel this way lost, confused and sad, Brut was my rock.  On days like this we would runaway into the woods.  Twisting and turning through the paths and making our own.  He would test my cross country skills, jumping logs and dodging branches, we made our way into our own universe.  Where I would learn to let go of myself and let Brut take charge and harnass all the freedoms that came with him.  Like being swept away by the wind.  It was just magical the way our primal instincts took over.  There was nothing like it.  It was our playland and we ruled it.

Miss you Bruter boy.



Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Brut Possession

I never knew what a hold Brut had on this family until he was gone.  Or I should say, I didn't know how strong it was until he let go.  Brut was possessive by nature.  It was just part of his character and loyality that couldn't be matched.  For he held each one of us in his capture and returned it with his devotion to each and every person and dog in this home.  Brut was the mortar that held the bricks and was the foundation of everything we stand for, love.  Pure unconditional love.  While fierce at times, his passion ran deep and he never stopped loving us.  All of us.  With all the pleasure and pain that love brings with it.  He taught that for every rose, there is a stem of thorns to accompany it.  I may not know what tomorrow brings, but Brut's love does.  It is always and forever, burning deep in my mind and heart.

For you Bruter boy.
I love you.
(6/23/2015)

  MINE!


Monday, July 13, 2015

Prince Zappa



Each dog had a special relationship to Brut and that I would like to expand and memorize on in depth.  They are all grieving in their own way and it is beautiful and heartbreaking to watch them mourn their Daddy Dog Brut.  I am so grateful hubby, Mark and I don't have to go through this with just each other.  Instead we have an entire family of dogs to share in our pain and sadness while they share theirs with us.

I thought there would be a great upheaval in the pack's hierarchy when Brut died, especially with Zappa.  If anyone has pushed to be the new King all this time, it has been him.  He constantly was challenging Brut and crossing Brut's boundaries for what I thought would be his day of reckoning. And it didn't come.  Not even with Brut's death.  Then I thought Zappa would become unruly and obnoxious and plain out of control as he was when Brut was around. Yet after Brut died, the status has stayed the same.  Since it was Brut and I that ruled this kingdom together most of the time, maybe with Brut gone, Zappa accepted that I was still the leader and the only real beef he had was with Brut.  As a son has with his father and the clashes that come with those titles.  Maybe it was just a family affair between dogs and not so much wanting to be king.  Or maybe Zappa just tested his skills to prove himself to his dad that Zappa had what it took to be king too.  Or maybe it is the death and loss of his father that has taken that fight out of him.

If I had to guess, it is a combination of all of these as to why he has chosen to stay Prince Zappa.

And what a beautiful Prince he is.