A post I found but never published from Feb. 2011 when looking back through my drafts. I remember being scared to post it because it shed some light on the negativity of having dogs and I didn't know how well it would be received. My feelings are somewhat the same about most of the writing, except the responsibility now feels like a second skin and the two dog packs now feel more secure although I still am not sure where we are going with them until we get there. ☺
I love my dogs and I have always tried to remain positive about the responsibility of having them, but sometimes being a dog mom isn't always a warm and fuzzy feeling. It could be as simple as not wanting to go out in subzero temperatures for playtime or having to do yard duty. Which most days I don't mind either, but I'm not always jumping up and down about it.
Then there are the harder things to digest. Like the chances of ever taking a vacation again are close to nil. When we just had Alex and Silver we would travel downstate and take one vacation a year. We were able to take the dogs with us, now with 6 and being divided into two packs, it is impossible. Not to mention the cost of boarding them, it is out of the question.
Then take the two packs themselves, we are really just winging it on a hope and prayer with integrating them. It is frustrating and discouraging and sometimes I wish we could just hire someone to fix everything and be done with it. The limitations in trainers around our rural area have been exhausted, not to mention not being able to afford what would be a long term situation. Some days it is heartbreaking and I get tired of doing it alone. That's when I have to take a step back and just do the best I can with the situation.
I think what it comes down to is responsibility. I don't think it matters how many dogs you have, they come with responsibility. The amount increases with each one you have. I can not tell you how envious I used to be when I visited the other puppies from our litter because for most of these owners this was their first and only dog. How easy. How simple. To be able to focus all your attention on one dog. Not to have confrontations and challenges rearing up. Not having everyone demand for their needs all at once. The ease of training, etc. It would all be easier with just one dog.
There is such division in our house. Even with the cats who can not visit the Front Dogs because Blaze was taught in her former home to chase cats and has that strong Husky prey drive. So many challenges that we must tend to and not really knowing how we are going to get there. This is a more concentrated version of what I experience every day. Most of the time I vent and I am able to let go and do what I need to for the day. Other days it comes down hard on me and wondering whether we are ever going to be able to reach our goals. Then I look and see that the dogs are doing OK. They are happy and healthy and hopefully have a long life in front of them. All it takes is to see that spark in their eyes, those sheepish grins and those tails going full tilt to watch the joy that flows around them and in them and for these moments, everything is more than OK, it is just the way it is suppose to be.
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Current blog look inspired by and dedicated to Chance, Blaze, Fiona and Zappa who all kicked ass against cancer and liver disease.