The Trainer Who Gave Us Hope

So if you've been following for the last couple of days (first post and second post, thank you, and hold on because I'm not just taking a trip down memory lane regarding Brut and our behaviorist experience.  I am trying to sort myself out and back up and regroup to try and deal with a current dilemma I am in.  Which I will share tomorrow.  Thank you so much for everyone's comments and support.  It makes a difference.

Oh, and I should probably put a few things into context:  Brut was 1 1/2 year old at this time, Zappa and Fiona (his puppies) were about 5-6 months old when we saw the behaviorist.  (Currently, Brut is 5 years;  Zappa and Fiona are almost 4 yrs)

4 months after seeing behaviorist:

The scene:  We only have the Back Dogs at this time, Brut, Silver, Zappa and Fiona.

Enter: Blaze.  A puppy from our litter who was returned to us at about 7 months old.  Abused and neglected. 

We tried a few different times to introduce the Back Dogs with Blaze.  They would not accept her.
I looked for anything online to help with intro.  Nothing seemed to work.  I finally broke down and called a trainer for any suggestions, advice, techniques, methods, anything that might help.

I explained the situation.  Four dogs, A mother (Silver), father (Brut), and two of their pups (Zappa and Fiona), trying to introduce another pup (Blaze) from same litter.  Father has dog aggression issues and tension between him and his son was increasing.

When he told me I would have to bring all the dogs in for an evaluation, I half gasped and chuckled, while telling him I've never had all the dogs in the same car.  You could hear him shake his head as he said, I know.  He had heard this story way too many times.

The weariness of this trainer said he'd been through the ringer of dog owners like me in desperate situations they had created due to lack of education.  I was only one of many he had encounter and his hopelessness of the situation was ladled through his every word.  The guy sounded exasperated and worn as he went on to explain that when aggressive dogs reach the age of 2-3 years, there is a physiological change.  Meaning the  aggression wasn't going to stop.

He saw no way out of the inevitable.  The dogs were going to fight.  He told me I didn't know what I was getting into.  His exact words.  And his best solution was to get rid of the puppies and just keep the father and mother.  That was how our conversation ended.

I sat for a minute after hanging up the phone, soaking in his words as a smile began to spread across my face.  I felt the hope rise within me as I replayed the conversation in my head.  I didn't know what I was getting into?  I'd been "in it" since I'd brought Brut home showing signs of problems at a very early age.  Getting rid of any of the dogs was not and would never be an option.  I almost jumped out of chair in glee as I ran to relay the hopelessness this trainer had displayed and the outcome of it all to my husband.  This trainer had given up.  Long before I called.  I was no where near the bleakness he was in. I have had my moments, but I hadn't given up.  I still had hope.  I saw possibilities.  And talking to that trainer helped in blowing those doors wide open!

I still draw strength from my talk with that trainer.  I don't know how another person might have taken it if he told them there was no hope except to get rid of a dog or two, but I couldn't have disagreed more.  He was an excellent gauge into where my belief, hope and strength were.  My husband and I had been running this show on my own this long and had yet to give up and somehow he gave us even more reason to believe that we were doing the right thing with our dogs and that we would find a way to make it work.  Whatever that took.  And with that knowledge that is just what we have done.

Needless to say, my husband and I have fumbled with all kinds of brainstorming and ideas.  Like a couple of kids running away from home and trying to make it on their own.  Yeah, we don't follow too many of the normal rules, have our own way of doing things, but somehow, someway we found a way to make it all work. Do the Brut and Zappa still fight?  Yes, they have their moments and confrontations, but they are no where near what they used to be.  Is it tough?  Yes, it is the toughest, tiring job I've ever had.  Are their any rewards?  Millions.  We have the 24 Paws of Love made up of the awesome Back Dogs and Front Dogs.  Would you do it all over again?  Absolutely.

Tomorrow, I'll share my dilemma that lead up to this purge.  This is our first time in our dog owning life that we feel like we have people who care and support us, so we would like to extent our trust to you for your suggestions and ideas.  Brainstorm with us.  We are looking forward to hearing your thoughts.  See you then!

After Leaving the Dog Behaviorist

After telling my tale with an enlightened perspective about our experience with the dog behaviorist that I took Brut to for his aggression with dogs, I found myself reliving the fear that came after.  Like opening an old emotional wound that didn't properly heal.  If you missed yesterday's post, you can read it here.  For some reason this experience and another I encountered with a trainer have been weighing heavy on my mind lately.  I just need to get them off my chest and get them out of my system in the next couple of days.

When I left the dog behaviorist office with Brut , I was in a complete state of shock and gripped with fear.  While trying to process what happened in that room between her, us and Brut, I was frightened.  My mind could not to begin to comprehend what had just happened and worse still, I was leaving with every problem I had came in with and then some.  I still didn't know what to do with Brut.  I had no new method or technique and no ideas.  Nothing.  I felt isolated.  I felt like I lost more than I gained.

She claimed she was the female "Dog Whisperer."  She based her theories on dog pack leadership and clicker training.  Two things I was already doing that were only getting me so far.  I was still crying in desperation for HELP.  I was scared, hurt and angry.  I'd entrusted ourselves and Brut to this woman who was a last resort and I left feeling tore upside and down.  I was lost and alone and felt there was no where I could turn.  I didn't care if Brut was friendly with every dog he met, I needed help with our little pack.  And I have been carrying that fear around for some time now.  

After a good long talk with a friend who'd actually kicked a trainer in the nuts because he kicked her dog, somehow, someway, I began to put back the pieces of this shattered mess.  Number one, I began to learn to trust my instincts.  I looked on line for anything and everything I could find about dogs-on-dog aggression.  And while most of the info was limited due to liability, through my own observations and trial-n-error, we made it through the most difficult time period of Brut's aggression with the other dogs.  Yes, I've made several mistakes, but each one of them gave me another piece of the puzzle to build from.  Having no other options, I had to dig deep to find the answers.  And through this whole process I learned how to trust myself and believe in my capabilities.  I just had to.

And while I have grown and healed through many things working with dogs and being more in tune with them, I hadn't realized until writing that last post how much my actions, thoughts and behavior have been based on that past fear that I left that session with.  Makes me wonder how many others left there feeling the same way being at our most vulnerable and needing help.  The sad thing was I didn't realize the impression she made on me and trusting another human with our dogs.

One thing I did learn out of all of this, is that if I ever did seek out another trainer, I would visit them first without the dog and discuss everything out in the open.  I don't ever want to get caught in the dark like that again.

Tomorrow I tell you about the trainer I talked with over the phone, who made me believe in myself again.

Did I Just Find a Bad Dog Trainer?

Kristine from Rescue Insanity wrote a post about "How To Find a Good Dog Trainer."  As I read her post, I began reflecting back on our one and only experience with a claimed dog behaviorist that we took Brut to, for help with his dog aggressive issues.  Here are some examples from our one time session.

Trust Your Gut-When I look back at the entire experience, the first red flag was when I went on this behaviorist website, I didn't feel comfortable at all.  I had a bad feeling right from the start.  Our options were limited in such a rural area and I was desperate.  I had to do something and I was willing to give her the benefit of doubt before casting her out.  

Helping or Selling?-The second red flag was that she was more focused on selling herself and what she could do with our dog and what we couldn't.  Hence the reason we were there.  It was if she was giving a performance so that we would buy her product, herself.  There was little, if any communication between her and us as she focus all her energy trying to control Brut.  I guess so that we would be in awe and wonder.  She didn't take any time in getting know Brut or relating to us.  She concentrated heavily on trying to "get Brut under her control."  She never succeeded.  Brut was a little too smart for her and he played with her quite teasingly.

This behaviorist claimed she had owned Huskies before, yet none of her actions displayed the amount of respect that Huskies demand being such  an independent breed.

How is the Behaviorist Behavior?-She was rather high strung and nervous and seemed a bit flighty.  Not what I would expect from a trainer who is taking on a strange aggressive dog.  She also tended to blow us off, as if neither of us had any idea what we were talking about when it came to our our dog.  It seemed her entire goal was to "calm" Brut by any means possible to "get control of him".  Mostly with calming sprays.  The couple of times my husband got a business call and left the room she doused Brut with sprays.  She did this with the notion if she could calm Brut she could convince my husband of her services.  (another ploy to sell her "product")  What she failed to recognize was even though I was one that had made the desperate call, I  was the one who had to be convinced.  The more she seemed to lose control the harder she tried to get it and ultimately became her entire focus for our session. 

Always trust your gut.  Or at least me.

Methods?  Training Techniques?  Do They Explain Everything?-Near the end of our stay Brut was quietly sleeping at our feet while we were talking, this is when she proceeded to kick him.  I believe she was testing to see if he would react.  It was so swift and silent, I almost wasn't sure if it had happened.  After all of the pages and pages she had me fill out on his background, she had kicked him without any prior consent, no explanation and we were such a state of shock, neither of us knew what to do.

It seemed as I look back throughout that entire session she was doing everything to push his buttons and force him to react.  Something that was definitely not stated anywhere in our agreement or as part of her methods.  She also made Brut sounds as if was in a worse state of mind than what we had stated.  Yes, I know he isn't the ideal dog, but I also know when I filled out that questionnaire Brut was in much better shape than most of the examples that were given.

And while I disagreed with her methods, I understand some of what she was trying to show, like how far a stranger could push Brut before he would snap.  I was quite disgusted that we were not informed on any of her methods or how she went about testing him.  Not when we spoke over the phone, not in her agreement, nothing on her website and not while she was trying out all her tricks on Brut.  Nothing.  Not one word.  We were just spectators.  Being that this was our first time ever going to anyone on the outside for help, we were totally clueless if this was how things were suppose to go or not.

How Does Your Dog React To Them?-And how did the all mighty Brut handled this extreme encounter?  Like a champ.  Number one, he was too smart for her games.  He was in no way going to let her have any control over him and so he played the cat and mouse game with her.  Just enough to show he had the control but just enough to keep her guessing.  I have no idea if he open his eyes when she kicked him, but he didn't even flinch.  In her efforts, she never did "get him under control" which is why I think she pushed the envelope with kicking him.  He was hyper, maybe a little high strung, but only lost his composure once, when he jumped in her face.

And if all of these signs weren't enough, Brut sent out his own red flag.  He peed on her desk leg while she sat at her chair before we even started.  :)    

 Just try to mess with me!!