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Friday, February 4, 2011

Where the Love Started

My love for animals comes from deep place within.  My mother is the one who showed my how animals love.

My mom was pregnant with me when she got her first puppy.  She was a Golden mix named Sandy.  My mom had a difficult time loving me, but was able to share her love with Sandy, who then passed it down to me.  Where I in turn learned to be loved by the love of animals.

Sandy was my mom's dog.  I helped in the care, but the bond was always with my mom.  Sandy was my first dog walking experience.  My mom said there was no way I could walk her.  At about 7 years old, I told her I could and I did.  With Sandy dragging all the way down the road.  (sound familiar?)  My mom was probably laughing her butt off the whole time.  Thirty-some years later I am still trying to change that walking pattern.

Sandy had a horrible fear of loud noises.  Thunderstorms and fireworks were a nightmare for her.  She would actually hide in the bathtub of all places.  As she got older her tolerance for the racket declined sharply and she would be a complete basket case.

A jackhammer had been running all day in our neighborhood.  I had just gotten home from school, I was around 11 or so at the time.  My mom had an appointment to go to.  Sandy was shaking from head to toe.  She had been panicky all day and was getting weaker by the minute.  I remember hiding in the bathroom, silently crying and thinking she was going to die.

When my mom left Sandy laid down and I held her until her last breath.  It was that simple and over that quick.  I have never forgotten that day, how Sandy looked and the peace that came over her after such a tumultuous day.

I don't know if my mother thought Sandy was going to die when she left, but I don't think she ever got over coming home and finding her gone.

When Sandy died, so did the only connection of our love.  My mother and I were never the same after that.  Though Sandy is the one thing we still hold dear in our hearts.         


♥♥ The OP Pack ♥♥ said...

Despite all the sadness of this story, how comforting it must have been for both you and Sandy to be so close in those final moments. Hugs.

Woos ~ Phantom, Thunder, and Ciara

Peggy Frezon said...

That is sad but beautiful. It is the most special thing that dogs can share that kind of healing love.

Barbara said...

How sad. I'm sorry your mom didn't understand what a great person you are. I kind of feel sorry for our generation and those before us - when it was expected of you to have kids when maybe you were the kind of person that never should have.

Thank goodness you had Sandy, and Sandy had you. She knew true love through you. Too bad your mother was incapable of that connection with you.

This is why I'll always have dogs. I've never been real lucky in the guy department, but I've never been lonely, thanks to my four-legged miracles.

Brandon - The dog with a blog said...

This is such a sad, but sweet story!
Thanks for sharing; I enjoyed reading it.

Rudy's Raiser

Kristine said...

I am so sorry for your loss, both of Sandy and of a relationship with your mother. I sincerely hope you have come to a new understanding. And if not, I hope you have found more than enough love in your life that the old wounds don't hurt as much.

Thanks for being brave and sharing a part of yourself.

houndstooth said...

I'm sorry for your loss, and also sorry that you had to be the one to say good-bye to Sandy when your mom couldn't be there.

A lot of your story resonates for me. My sister and I always joked that if we were all on a sinking ship that our mom would save the dog first, but we also knew that it was true. We'd have to swim and save ourselves if a boat did go down.

Lavinia said...

Oh dear, I'm so sorry Sandy died so suddenly... That day must have been really traumatising. It's a bit sad that your mother's affection for you didn't stand up after that. I too have a hard time getting along with mom sometimes, but in the end, family bonds are stronger than our own egos.

Budrow Wilson Spain said...

Funny how dogs have a way of bringing people together. Thank you for being there for Sandy in her last hours. I am certain that she was very grateful to you.

FANCY the Red Standard Poodle said...

We are here to comfort you, listen to you and we need you to return the favor, which you did. We do not judge you, we love you and we only ask the same in return, and you did.

Hawk aka BrownDog

Amy / Layla the Malamute said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Sandy. Even if it was 100 years ago (I know you're not that old, I'm just exaggerating!), it doesn't get any easier. My mother and I don't speak anymore, and I have no good feelings for her. But one thing that I am glad for is, without her love for animals I never would have developed mine.

Khady Lynn said...

What a sad story! But, I'm glad you were there with her at her final moments.


Two Little Cavaliers said...

Thanks for linking up with the blog hop. Have an awesome weekend.

Felissa, Davinia, and Indiana

ForPetsSake said...

So sad...clearly it's still a bittersweet memory. You have a very big heart.

KrittersThatTwitter said...

Hello, I was sent by Two Little Cavaliers. I am following your Blog now, check mine out and follow if you'd like! we are also having a huge Blog Party through February 12th with lots of giveaways!

Your dogs are so cute, what a pack! They are gorgeous.

Lisa, Madison and Abigail
Kritters That Twitter

Pup Fan said...

Sending you lots of hugs... I'm glad for Sandy that you were with her in the end.