(here), contrary to how it may seem, I don't let go very easy. It takes some convincing, especially when I am having an inner conflict with my emotions and feelings that I am trying to keep at bay. It is hard enough for me to trust as it is, but giving a canine full control can be scary. I always question whether I am reading the dog's signals right or if my emotional state has compromised my judgement. I flounder with the idea because, whether I let go or not, I am still responsible for my dog and have a fear of not regaining control when I need to.
What may feel like a giving up of control is actually a trust exercise of being lead by my dog as we work through this together.
The first thing I noticed when I started walking Chance was that he was in "drive or pull" mode. Dead on. Straight forward. He wasn't lunging or veering just intent on moving forward. My walk wasn't quick enough for him and I felt him urge me on, but I held back. We squabbled a bit. I just couldn't let go of what I was holding so close to my heart. I was scared to trust at that moment. And while it had little to do with Chance, who has never let me down, the fear was strong. He gently pulled, I began to jog, hoping to satisfy his need. To my surprise he challenged my pace. All the while encouraging me to do what I thought I could not. As I felt my trust seep through the leash into his paws, my speed increased and I felt the trust returned. He matched my pace. We continued to build on that foundation until the next thing I knew we were both running. Legs flying, the pressure in my chest broke as the giggles burst through only to be greeted with Chance's crazy, wide grin glancing back. When I thought my lungs would burst, I slowed him down.
And we did it again and again riding on the freedom of our spirits.
I gave my trust. Chance nurtured me through. My pace became his pace. Bit by bit. He understood what I needed. He guided with love. I gave my faith that he would show me.
And as a trusting friend, Chance helped me do what I could not do on my own, Let Go.
© 2024 24 Paws of Love
Current blog look inspired by and dedicated to Chance, Blaze, Fiona and Zappa who all kicked ass against cancer and liver disease.