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Brut Quote

Brut Quote

Thursday, July 2, 2015

All Dogs Go To Heaven

It is two weeks ago today that I let go of my beloved heart dog, canine soulmate to the other side.  His beautiful body may be gone but his heart and spirit live on inside and around me.  There will never be another boy like Brut and I will feel this for years to come. But one thing Brut was all about was love, no matter how he was he did everything out of love, if for no one else than me.  While I was teaching him to control his anger, he in turn did the same for me.  After 30 years of abuse I had some inner rage.  Some days I was walking dynamite and lashed out at my husband for what seemed no reason at all.  I didn't understand what I was feeling and didn't know what to do with so much anger.

That's where Brut came in. While at first I reacted in fear of his aggression once I started listening to him and responded instead, I began to grasp what I was dealing with internally.  Little by little we began to work out all the knots and kinks of our anger issues and when no one else understood, Brut did.  He just let my tiger come out until it was a purring kitten.  No judgement.  No expectations.  No questions.  No answers.  He just let me be me.  Where ever I was at in my journey and I did my best to do the same for him.  We were so alike in that way.

And now two weeks since we buried Brut, my anger at losing him has cropped up several times through the course of my loss.  Anger that he's gone. Anger that he left us so early in his life.  Anger at the cancer that ate at his body and I could not stop it.  Anger at how short life can be.

And as I sat in chair with this anger stirring around my head, a love song by the group YES, began to play through my head. I wanted to fuel the anger.  I was angry, but the song continued to play and I gave into it. I felt Brut's spirit right there in the song, teaching me another life lessons of turning my anger into something positive.  Love.

The song is Love Will Find A Way.  How fitting, right?  :)  


Rebekah Ward said...

This is beautiful. I am so very sorry.

Pamela | Something Wagging said...

At times anger is the emotion that makes the most sense. But Brut helped you find a way to channel the anger and that's a gift you'll always have from him.

Thinking of you during this difficult time of loss.

houndstooth said...

I am sorry for your loss. I think anger is a natural part of the process, and some days, it can be what picks you up and moves you along. I haven't had a dog in my life yet that didn't teach me a lot of lessons about how to be a better human.

2punkdogs said...

Two weeks isn't that long after so many years together. It will get easier, hope memories of your beautiful Brut can help bring peace.

Unknown said...

HI I am So sorry for your loss of Brut he is angel that watches over you You two will be reunited once again in Rainbow Heave We all will be reunited with our family fur babies when that time comes i know i will be. I still cry over and for my babies and i have quite a few personal and friends animals as well . And i have quite a few across the world that didn't make it for whatever reason I know i did my best to watch and help them along their journey with me ! And i am getting ready for another one in a few years myself . And that Boy is My Butchie Boy he is a chihuahua mix. We have been together for now 7 years and i have a sister as well mot from the same litter I worked in Rescues in California for awhile and that's how i got my two all my of my pets are rescues wouldn't have it any other way . And this song is very fitting your right . And thank you for sharing and look up to the stars at your babies they are watching you make every move you make They will always be in your heart and soul forever .