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Thursday, July 2, 2015
All Dogs Go To Heaven
That's where Brut came in. While at first I reacted in fear of his aggression once I started listening to him and responded instead, I began to grasp what I was dealing with internally. Little by little we began to work out all the knots and kinks of our anger issues and when no one else understood, Brut did. He just let my tiger come out until it was a purring kitten. No judgement. No expectations. No questions. No answers. He just let me be me. Where ever I was at in my journey and I did my best to do the same for him. We were so alike in that way.
And now two weeks since we buried Brut, my anger at losing him has cropped up several times through the course of my loss. Anger that he's gone. Anger that he left us so early in his life. Anger at the cancer that ate at his body and I could not stop it. Anger at how short life can be.
And as I sat in chair with this anger stirring around my head, a love song by the group YES, began to play through my head. I wanted to fuel the anger. I was angry, but the song continued to play and I gave into it. I felt Brut's spirit right there in the song, teaching me another life lessons of turning my anger into something positive. Love.
The song is Love Will Find A Way. How fitting, right? :)