It's been 10 weeks today that we buried Silver. It seems like it was so, so long ago. Like eons of time have past. Sometimes it seems so long that I wonder if she was ever really here. I can't explain how it feels but it is an eerie feeling. I see and feel all of the aftereffects of her death, the dogs, the cats all still stressing now that the mortar of the family is gone, but I don't feel her. I don't feel my Silver. She has just vanished somehow, someway, in ways I don't understand. It leaves me so empty and open and vulnerable. I feel like I can't reach her and will never be able to do so again.
Grave sadness that kills the soul. I've lost my girl. My Silver.
This is how I feel:
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