My dogs are therapeutic to me. They tend to give me a reason when there doesn't seem to be any. I have been in an emotional struggle with taking my dogs for walks for a while now. It doesn't have anything to do with my dogs or their walking habits, but with my own emotional distress from an abusive childhood. Taking my dogs for a walk has become a daunting chore and the fun has been taken out of it. It has become almost painful.
My husband who has never gotten a chance to spend much time with the dogs because of his work schedule, has taken on walking the dogs as part of his exercise routine and for the quality time with our two packs.
I recently began going with him while he walks the dogs. In watching my husband and his carefree ways with the dogs, I have begun to discover the joy again. Observing how my husband interacts with the dogs, his childlike ways and manner I began to realize what I was missing that was making these walks so difficult for me. My husband isn't plague with having the perfect dog, like I am. Or the embarrassment and shame I feel for not measuring up. He walks the dogs with only one thing on his mind, it is for them. Something that has stuck in my head from reading the same thoughts from a post by, Pamela, Something Wagging This Way Comes.
I used to be very good at that, but somewhere along the way, my head started thinking instead of my heart.
We went again last night and I can feel the shackles on my brain have begun to loosen up. An email between Pamela and I also opened my mind to other possibilities and has begun to shift my perspective along with watching my husband joyfully walk the dogs one after another. That's where I want to get back to. Enjoying the walk time with my dogs and embrace that special bonding time with them. For now I'm a protege learning the ropes again while I begin to break free from my past. In time, it will come back to me, until then I am following my lead dog. My husband.
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