Brut Thursday-The Fight Within

Brut Thursday, a day late, but not forgotten.

I was thinking about Brut today.  My husband, Mark and I were a little huffy with one another and I my boy came to mind.

Nobody really understood Brut's anger issues.  I don't even think Mark could fully comprehend them, but I got it.  It made total sense to me once I discovered his puppy hood before us.  I knew what it was like to be betrayed and to fight for yourself by yourself.  From a depth that is scarring and sacred, you hold on to survive with that last breath.  Because it is all you have.  It becomes all you know as the fear swells in you, fighting to destroy everything you have, your heart and soul.  You become the fight you feared to save them.  Only to find you are killing yourself in the process. So you thrash harder not understanding why it hurts so.  But it is the only way you know.

I don't know how Brut and I ever picked apart all those needles in our gut, but we did it together.  I don't know that either of us "healed" right but learned in each other that we were not alone in our fight.  In fact Brut taught me how to fight and stand up for myself turning that turmoil inside out.

Brut had a way of calming me because I was understood.  Something I hadn't found in my journey until him.  I witnessed first hand the "home" life he had before me.  Vicious.  Daunting.  Many angry dogs all living on survival mode.  Scary.  It was no wonder Brut scared the crap out of me from a young puppy.  The boy was crazy with fear.  And hurting so deep.  Was it any wonder we bonded so deeply?

To say I was blessed with Brut is an understatement.  I don't know that there is a word for it that would do our relationship justice.  I miss my boy every day.  If I didn't know his spirit is right there for me, I don't know what I would do.  Connecting with Brut is my strength.  Knowing and healing with him brings me right back here.  To this blog to share my story of the greatest dog I have ever known.

 

The Gentle Beast

I was just sitting watching Brut and thought, I wish all of you could get to know him like I do.  He isn't the monster I once thought him to be so long ago.  Some may never get past his aggressive behaviors with other dogs and I understand that.  I used to be like that.  But one on one with someone he trust tends to break all those rules of what this awesome dog is like.

When I really take the time to get in tune with him and he feels safe and unguarded Brut is a spectacular being.  He has a very expressive face.  He can show you humor, disregard, or sarcasm with the quick switch of his facial muscles.  But it is Brut's eyes that set the stage.  Full to the brim with love, security and a burning torch that sets his face ablaze as each emotion flickers through.

And as I sit with this magnificent being on the floor as he wrestles my hand for more face rubs, I think of what that terrible trainer/behaviorist said to us about Brut's aggression;  we were just managing it.  As if to say that we should be changing the behavior.  But from what I've witnessed about Brut for the last six years isn't a behavior problem.  I honestly think he has some form of brain damage from before we picked him out.  The similarities between Blaze, Chance and Brut's attention span is short and their emotional growth is slow.  All of them have anxiety and fear that can sky rocket..  And I know for a fact that Blaze and Chance were hit and I know that Brut was too.  And I find myself constantly grouping these three together as they are set apart from the other three dogs.  Brut, Chance and Blaze are a little bit special in a familiar way that goes deeper than just being father and children.  For if anything Brut should relate more to Zappa and Fiona (the two pups we kept from the litter), but it is their siblings, Chance and Blaze who left and were returned to us abused that I see Brut relates to the most.

So while I get to see a different side of Brut than most, I appreciate the whole package he delivers.  He's taught me things no human could have done in my own recovery and for that we have each other's back.  He used to scare me quite a bit, I never knew what to expect from him and now we have found an understanding that lies between and within us.  And full blooded love.

        

Heart to Heart

Front Dogs vs. Back Dogs-Gratitude

One of the biggest differences between the Front and Back Dogs, is the Front  Dogs permeate gratitude.  Being that they were part of our litter and were returned to us abused and neglected, gratitude seems to radiate from them.  It is constant even two years later and is like a special gift they carry around always full of thanks.

The Back Dogs whom we have had since they were all puppies, have never went without anything.  They have never known what it is like on the "other side."  Their needs have always been met, they have never suffered a blow or been locked up for extended periods of time.  They have always been cared for and have never known what it is like to be unloved.

The Front Dogs are very patient.  They never ask for anything , but wait until one of us comes in the room to let us know their needs, including to go out.  They are more affectionate than the Back Dogs and lap up any attention they are given.  They are understanding and forgiving and always seem to know just what we need.  They are very compassionate and loving souls who are just happy to be here.

The Back Dogs on the other hand would be considered spoiled next to the Front Dogs.  They are more demanding and forthcoming with their needs.  They have never known any different life than asking for what they want and do so without any fear.  The Back Dogs have lived in a stable and secure environment and have no concept of being hurt for days, weeks or months at a time like the Front Dogs were.  They have never missed a meal unless it was of their own choosing or they were sick.  All the Back Dogs have ever known is being loved and cared for and being treated as such.

The Front Dogs gratitude still blows my mind until this day.  They seem to appreciate us just being here and accept our time between the two packs.  Their gratitude seems to always be flowing, like they have sunshine in their hearts.  It is a quiet magic that makes them have this twinkle in their eye and shimmers through their body, somehow knowing how very lucky they are to be home.  There is just something different about Chance and Blaze that still catches my breath and brings tears to my eyes.   There is nothing more beautiful than sharing in the little bit of heaven that glimmers in these two dogs who have overcome odds that the Back Dogs will never have to know.

I don't know if the consensus is true with all rescue dogs, but I have found through forums and other blogs that other dog owners have discovered the gratitude ringing through with their rescue or shelter dogs.  Have any of you found the same thing?

 

My Angels

One of the most amazing things about having so many dogs is finding each ones true spiritual gifts in my time of need.  My childhood abuse can bring me to my knees as I continue to recover from the damage that was done.  I went through a flashback a few nights back, as I actually relive an experience that happened to me from that time period as if it is happening now.

As this nightmare began, I was with the Back Dogs, who all continually rotated their positions so that I was encompassed by them.  Zappa was on the couch with me and licked my tears and hands, helping to keep me grounded.  Then when I needed to be nurtured, Silver was by my side and let me cry in her fur.  Zappa returned as the tears and pain began to build, when Brut got silently on the other end of the couch.  I was protected by each of them as the pain hit it's peak.  All the while Fiona was directly across from me, knowing she would be my nighttime protector when I went to bed.

When the flashback ended, I walked in shock to the Front Dogs room, where Chance and Blaze immediately laid next to me, each on one side.  They kept squeezing as tightly as possible to me acting as my shields, as I lay in complete exhaustion.  They didn't even get up when Daddy came home and when it was time for bed, Fiona who never lets me down was there to keep me safe as I slept.

What was the most beautiful thing was the security, the love and comfort they gave and how all of them were in tune with me.  Their spirits were in tune with my pain, the reason for that pain and they were there for me.  This isn't the first time it has happened and I doubt it will be the last.  I have found there is more to dogs than being just a great companion.  It is like having a Higher Spirit always there taking care of you.  It has been proven to me over and over.  I am ever so humbled by the love that exist in these beautiful beings and the true blessing of having the honor to call them mine.  A gift I will always hold dearly in my heart until the end of time.

         

Blog the Change-Adpoting An Abused Animal

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There is a stigma about adopting abused animals and that they are too damaged to be saved.  They will come with many behavioral problems and issues that will take too much time and money to be helped.  It would just be easier to get a puppy or kitten and raise them the way we would like. 

While these statements may be true, I believe there is often a misconception about all of them.  It is difficult to bear the weight of damage that has been done to an abused animal.  It can be challenging trying to understand behaviors you may not be accustom to, but the rewards far outweigh the challenge.

It takes a special person with patience, understanding and a willingness to give.  It takes time, lots of time to regain trust with creatures who have survived such harsh conditions due to human cruelty, but there is nothing more rewarding than watching that trust open up.  Witnessing the little bits of love that will begin to sprout as they begin to accept their new life and the love that surrounds them.  It is like being part of a miracle.

And for those that think that getting a puppy or kitten will eliminate those behavior problems, think again.  All young pets come with their own set of tribulations from the first day you bring them home.  It doesn't matter that they came from the best breeders, animals are still animals living in a human world.  They have instinctual tendencies that they are going to act on.  Coupled that with genes, their care as newborns and their particular breed, you are going to have some problems.  No more different than you would with an abused animal, the level of intensity and depth is just different.

Living with six dogs and two cats I have experienced many different behavior problems.  Two dogs from our litter came back abused and we are still working out the finer details of their abuse issues and the way the previous owners raised them. What I find amazing about these two is that heir gratitude is unmatched making every step of our journey with them worth it.  I have a dog I got as a puppy that was taken from his mother and siblings during his socializing period.  We discovered these facts along with an aggressive gene towards dogs that we are still working with.  We are seeing progress every day.  These are three testimonials in world where they are many more like them.  Is it challenging? Yes.  Painful?  Yes.  Rewarding?  More than my heart can share.

If you have the time and love, think about adopting an abused animal.  You will not only be saving their life, but your own.

Monday Memories-Ice Cream

When Blaze first came back, it was quite heartbreaking and very difficult to say the least.  Witnessing the aftermath of this sweet little girl who'd been beaten and shot at was devastating.  She had become a shell of herself.  How many nights and days I wept over this tiny girl who I watched be born and grow with so much love, only to have it all shattered. 

Blaze was and is very strong willed.  She is defiant in every sense of the word.  She didn't survive her nightmare by being mild mannered.  She had an inner strength that she had no problem expressing.  She had been locked up before by her previous owners for hours on end, where she learned how to bark non-stop.  A high pitched, nervous bark that normal ears couldn't possibly survive through and that sent my sensitive ones through the roof.

Since Blaze was separated from the other dogs and we were just starting to introduce her to Zappa, she was alone when I would spend time with the Back Dogs.  She would get on the kitchen island and bark with persistence until I would come back where she would wag her tail and jump down with this huge smile on her face.  Trying to operate with our new addition to the family and the special circumstances that ensued was quite trying to say the least.  My nerves would be on end, I would be exhausted and wore and Blaze didn't make it very easy.

My husband and I took turns sleeping with Blaze every other night, so she didn't have to be alone.  One night it was my turn with Blaze and it had been another raw day with all the dogs.  I was at my wits end with Blaze and the situation, I got out the ice cream, grabbed two spoons, sat on the floor and Blaze and I had a traditional girls night together.  Together we let the cool sweetness melt away all our problems for those moments.  We had a heart to heart talk in between spoonfuls and let go of all of our troubles and differences.  As we finished the last of our desert, I think we both felt a little better and a little closer as we headed off to bed together. 

There was something special about that secret girl time together and now anytime it's been 'one of those days,' I pull out the ice cream and a couple spoons and Blaze and I have a little girls getaway.

Aggression Corrections?

I tend to be quite a puzzle solver when it comes to psychological behavior.  I like to figure things out for myself using the least amount of tools and basic theories.  When it comes to dealing with Brut in particular, I have found that I have a natural instinct for handling his aggressions with Zappa.  It has evolved over the course of time, as I've learned from my mistakes, going from pulling them apart in fights to prevention.  I began to learn Brut's signals until gradually over time able I was able to find his warning signs and stop anything before it started.  The results have been dramatically and didn't come easy.  Neither dog has ever been hurt except for a scratch or two and most of the time they ignore each other.

Handling Brut and Zappa has become part of my being.  The trouble is that I can't seem to explain to Daddy how to do it.  Brut has taken Daddy on as a possession, since he has started walking Brut. It has caused a slight riff again between Brut and Zappa again.  Daddy has a soft heart and I have done most of the serious discipline.  I have been watching these interactions, trying to break down to Daddy what Brut is doing and how he needs to react.  It is like trying to describe to someone how to breathe.  So I broke down, went to the library and tried to find a book that could help.

The selections were not the best, but I thought I had found one that might work.  As I read to the main sections I was interested in, aggression between dogs and corrections, to my horror I found this book also believes in negative reinforcement and punishment.

For corrections, they stated using a choke chain or pinch/prong collar.  Two things I have never used, as I do not care for either.  Another correction is the "Alpha Rollover.  I have used this method in order to gain control of a fight.  I rarely use it, but I believe it is safe only because it is language the dog understands.  Dogs do this to other dogs in establishing dominance.  For me, it is a non-violent expression that I won't tolerate this behavior.  Some don't believe in it, but it has been effective for me.

The next correction they list is called the "Shake."  To my horror I read how to grab the dog by the loose skin on both sides of the jaw, lift the dog off the ground and literally shake some sense into the dog until he gives into submission.  Shaking the dog until his neurons are rearranged and the dog is disorient.  I shook as I read this.  I can not begin to understand how or why you would do this or what the dog actually learns from this let alone how effective it's method would actual be.  It was horrifying.

If that wasn't bad enough, there a method called the "Cuff. This is suppose to effective for 'nipping' dogs or if there is no response from the "Shake."  This is knocking the bottom jaw in an upward motion with a fist.  Are you're jaws dropping yet?  And this is in print.  And what is it suppose to mean, if the "Shake" doesn't work?  If the dog is suppose to be disoriented after a shake, why the hell would you need to cuff the dog too?

There were a few other methods, squirt bottles, hanging (picking dog up by collar until front paws are off the ground),  making banging sounds, etc..  All of these methods were mentioned in the dog-dog aggression section.  I achieved the same results that they concluded without "Shaking" my dog or cuffing him or any other method that I saw as violent and disturbing.  I am still flabbergasted by this reading.
It is like giving permission to be abusive to your dogs and you can still look at this book today.  I found it in the library.  It still exist somewhere.  It was copyrighted in 1950, (first clue), but then was republished in 1995.  That I have a very difficult time with.  Haven't we come any further than these barbaric methods?

So needless to say, I didn't need to read anymore.  I didn't need to read what I had.  I ran outside with the dogs to feel the peace of the snow, the mild night, and if I didn't need a pat on the back, I got one.  The dogs ran around showing off for me, Zappa and Brut in their respective places as I witnessed the beauty of these creatures that I have had the wonder and awe in partaking of their lives.  So many times, I am unsure of what I do, uncertain of the gift I have, but a simple reminder puts everything back in perspective again.

Now, if I can just figure out how to teach my husband...BOL

 

Monday Memories-A Regret

Looking back at my time with the litter of puppies, I have little regrets, but there is one thing that always lingers in my mind wondering if I should have done something differently.

Blaze at four weeks old

 
Part of the agreement of picking out a puppy was visiting at least a couple of times so that the new owners weren't a complete stranger to the puppies.  Blaze was the first picked at about three weeks old.  She met with her new owners several times as we would not let the puppies go to their new homes until they were about nine weeks old. 

Every meeting between Blaze and her new owners repeated the same cycle.  Blaze kept running back to the whelping box during their visit.  She didn't seem to have any interest in them.  Feeling somewhat out of tune with why she was acting this way, I didn't know exactly what to do about it.  I should have seen it as a sign of something.  I thought maybe she just was too shy or would rather be with her brothers and sisters.  Secretly I was smiling on the inside because I took it as she really didn't want to leave and even though she was quite the terror of the group, we were having a hard time with letting any of the puppies go.

When the time came and Blaze was the first to leave the litter, I was relieved.  Ten puppies that were all teeth and running around the house, I was ready to say goodbye.



Blaze saying goodbye to Mommy Silver

If I knew then what I know now.  We visited about once a month to see how Blaze was doing and get pictures of her growth.  It didn't take long to know something was wrong.  It was nothing we could ever prove, but something wasn't right.  When we saw her at six months old she jumped into our car before we could even get out.  It was obvious things for her were intensifying.  A month later we got the call that they wanted to return her and we jumped at the chance to save her.  The horrors she had lived through shown in her quiet demeanor.  She was a shell of herself and haunted with every move.  We were ever so grateful that they had returned her.  It was the only good thing I think they ever did.

We never knew the abuser of the family existed until after they took Blaze home.  He never came to any of the visited and was never spoken of.  It was he who made the call.  A call we are forever blessed with as it could have ended so many different ways.

Chance and Blaze (3 mos. old) at their new homes

I still wonder as I look back at those visits what would have happened if I had intervened and told the new owners I didn't think this puppy was for them .  As difficult as these thoughts are, I also believe everything happens for a reason.  Chance's new owners were related to Blaze's and they basically grew up together.  If Blaze's owners hadn't of made that call to return her, then there was a chance that Chance's owners wouldn't have made the call to give him back either. I suspected that once Blaze came back, it was only a matter of time before Chance did and that's exactly how it happened.  For the last three years I have struggled with the "what if" and the regret of not listening to those puppy instincts.  Today whatever the reasons are, I am glad they are both back, safe and sound and part of the 24 Paws of Love.  For I have no doubts about that.

Chance and Blaze home with us.

         

IS IT ENOUGH?

Is it really OK to be an animal lover and not support a cause?  Is it enough that caring for my own pets is my cause?  I would like to think so.  There is always a sense of guilt that I'm not doing enough for the animal world, because it takes everything, everything I have to take care of my own pets needs.  I have sacrificed many things so that my dogs get the care they deserve and time and money are among them, leaving very little for anything else.

Brut is a full time job alone.  Sometimes I just can't do all that I want to do with my own dogs.  Some days it takes everything I have to juggle time and energy and still have some left for myself.  Can my examples of my daily living with six dogs divided into two packs be enough in showing my strengths and weaknesses of living with dogs?  Is it enough to show through our struggles and triumphs that we care about the reasons we all love living with animals in our home?

While I take the time to ponder these questions and wonder if I am doing enough, I take a look at Brut, Chance and Blaze.  Brut could have easily been beaten by another owner because of his aggressions.  He would have been an excellent candidate for dog fighting.  Or he could have put in a shelter and put to his death if he hadn't wound up in our arms.  I'm not saying that no one else could handle him, but he's here, in my home for a reason.  Yes, there are plenty of days I wish he could be the perfect dog and magically erase all of the bad things that are part of him, but there are many more days that I am grateful that he is just who he is.  Somehow he has become part of my job to watch over and protect him from himself.  I don't take that job lightly.  It may be stressful and painful, but somehow I was the one who was blessed with it.  There is a raw beauty in watching him grow and I don't take that lightly either.

Chance and Blaze are prime examples of my cause.  They both came back from our own litter beaten, neglected and abused.  Some of their behaviors still stem from that abuse and they sometimes need more care because of the damage that was done.  With their comeback they became the second pack of our family, bringing with it's own set of challenges and joys.

Each of these dogs could have fallen into the "system."  Each one of them found their way to us.  I think they are a good enough reason to be enough.      

My Lead Dog

My dogs are therapeutic to me.  They tend to give me a reason when there doesn't seem to be any.  I have been in an emotional struggle with taking my dogs for walks for a while now.  It doesn't have anything to do with my dogs or their walking habits, but with my own emotional distress from an abusive childhood.  Taking my dogs for a walk has become a daunting chore and the fun has been taken out of it.  It has become almost painful. 

My husband who has never gotten a chance to spend much time with the dogs because of his work schedule, has taken on walking the dogs as part of his exercise routine and for the quality time with our two packs. 

I recently began going with him while he walks the dogs.  In watching my husband and his carefree ways with the dogs, I have begun to discover the joy again.  Observing how my husband interacts with the dogs, his childlike ways and manner I began to realize what I was missing that was making these walks so difficult for me.  My husband isn't plague with having the perfect dog, like I am.  Or the embarrassment and shame I feel for not measuring up.  He walks the dogs with only one thing on his mind, it is for them.  Something that has stuck in my head from reading the same thoughts from a post by, Pamela, Something Wagging This Way Comes. 
I used to be very good at that, but somewhere along the way, my head started thinking instead of my heart. 

We went again last night and I can feel the shackles on my brain have begun to loosen up.  An email between Pamela and I also opened my mind to other possibilities and has begun to shift my perspective along with watching my husband joyfully walk the dogs one after another.  That's where I want to get back to.  Enjoying the walk time with my dogs and embrace that special bonding time with them.  For now I'm a protege learning the ropes again while I begin to break free from my past.  In time, it will come back to me, until then I am following my lead dog.  My husband.

How We Became Two Packs

Front Dogs

Back Dogs

Some of you may not be aware that our six dogs are divided into two packs and you may wonder why.   When Brut and Silver had their puppies, we kept Zappa and Fiona and they formed a pack, the Back Dogs.  Chance and Blaze (Front Dogs) who were part of our litter returned at almost a year old, both abused and to the Back Dogs they were strangers. 

I was just learning about socializing before Front Dogs came back, but had no ways or means to do it. That's when we decided to take BRUT to the only behaviorist within 100 miles. We were not comfortable with her or her methods and after she kicked Brut on purpose while he lay at our feet, we knew we were never going back.  (More details in a later post)

After Blaze came back and the Back Dogs wouldn't accept her, I called a dog trainer for some advice on how to introduce the dogs.  After giving him a complete history on the phone, he informed me of two things.  1.  I didn't know what I was getting into, and  2. I was going to have to give up one or more dogs.  I may not have known everything I was getting into, but I was willing to try and make it work.  Giving up any of the dogs was NOT an option.  Not long after Blaze came back, Chance came back.  Chance coming back was a miracle for Blaze and us.  She wasn't alone anymore and neither was Chance as they grew up together because their owners were related.

So after dealing with the "experts," we realized we were on our own to figure this out.  Besides who knows our dogs better than us?  There are many books on dogs, but is there a book on just Blaze?  Or Brut?  Or any of the others?

So we divided the house and the yard in order to make things work for this time period.  Blaze and CHANCE have needed extensive time to heal from the abuse from their previous owners.  Brut has needed the time to learn how to socialize within his pack and proper alpha dog corrections.  We are getting very close with him, mostly from what he has learned from Zappa and Fiona.  Post: Brut and the Power of Love   If we had tried to force these dogs together before their healing began to take place, it would have done more damage than good.

Blaze and Zappa

Zappa (Back Dog) and Blaze (Front Dog) are able to hang out together.  If you read BLAZE'S STORY you'll see they took to each other shortly after Blaze came back.  We still let them put them together when Chance goes with Daddy.  There is a bit of a riff between Chance and Zappa over Blaze.  They each think they saw her first.

Silver and Chance

Silver (Back Dog) and Chance (Front Dog) are also able to hang out together.  Silver usually struts her alpha dog style during playtime, but her defenses break down enough in order for a few rare moments of connection with Chance and it is well worth it.  We have also taken one Back Dog and one Front Dog for walks together as well and each time notice more and more improvement. 




There have been many challenges along the way but each step has been a reward.  We had our header photo made to give a visual of the integration between the two packs.  We know we have a tough road ahead, but we have plenty of time to do it.  We believe in taking things slow, for the dogs and ourselves.  We want to make sure that each time there is contact it is positive and productive.  We have always believed everything happens for a reason and as this journey has been unfolding we have come to trust that even more.  We believe by design we are taking the road less traveled, and we have the faith and trust that bringing these two packs together will someday be a reality.  No matter how we look at it, they are still the 24 Paws of Love. 

      





      

The Love of Two Packs

There are many different aspects to having two separate dog packs.  Each dog is unique, individually and within their pack.  Though I try to divide my time equally between them both, there are certain days I find myself being drawn to one pack or the other.

Front Dogs-Chance and Blaze

When I'm struggling through a rough day, I find myself drawn to the Front Dogs.  I find a strength and comfort in them due to their heightened sensitivity and nurturing instinct.  They seem to understand the pain I am feeling because of they are able to relate to it coming from abusive homes.  I have also found they have a stronger appreciation for being taken care of and they rarely "demand" anything of me.  They are full of life and exuberant at expressing it.  Whether it is in playtime or quiet time.  They are always grateful for any time spent with us and being loved.  How simple.  How wonderfully beautiful.

Back Dogs-Fiona, Zappa, Silver, and Brut

 (our only recent picture of all four Back Dogs together.)

Since the Back Dogs have all been with us from the beginning and always have had their needs met, there is a strong stability within them.  While the Front Dogs can be high strung and anxious, I find myself lured to Back Dogs and a sense of security.  When life seems uncertain or the walls are closing in it is the maturity of the Back Dogs that stands out.  There is a unbreakable foundation that exist between the four of them that lets me know everything is OK.  There is a firm trust and an undeniable calm within their pack that can bring my frayed emotions to an inner peace again.  It is powerful and stunning.

The dynamics between the Front Dogs and the Back Dogs is a unconditional.  How simple and expressive each pack is in their own distinctive way.  I have also become aware how dependent I am on these differences to meet my own needs and to fulfill theirs.  I am mystified by the rich diversity of love and energy  both packs offer.  They may seem divided, but are united through us.        

Never say never

If there is one thing I have learned having dogs, it is, never say never.  I never thought that until Blaze and Chance came back to us. If you missed yesterday post, here's another look at it. 

                                                                    Princess Blaze

resting on the throne she created

First of all I need to give credit where credit is due.  Chance also made his contribution to the redesigning of the couch.  This is also the second one they have reconstructed to their liking.  They attacked the first couch  the first day and it wasn't long before it's demise.   

Now I know you are all wondering how these sweet, innocent dogs could be so ruthless and destructive, so let me share.  I have read and seen pictures of these couch massacres and I remember thinking, what were these owners doing or not doing that their dogs would demolish the couch and get away with it.  I have never had any problems with any of my dogs destroying any furniture.  Even with 10 wild puppies I didn't experienced anything like that.  I have seen similar couch mutilation, but never thought it would be in my own home.

When Chance and Blaze came back from their abusive homes they both had high anxiety coupled with their Husky hyperness.  We waited months to put a couch in their room, knowing full well the level of destruction that may occur. Blaze had shredded out our last van and because of this we bought cheap used couches.  The couch destruction would happen when we would leave them alone.  They both had strong abandonment issues and we didn't leave them alone until we felt they were ready in small increments.  This coupled with spending time with the Back Dogs brought on the destruction of the couch.  They were never able to have our full attention and the frustration would built along with their anxiety of trying to get my attention and the jealousy of having to share.

I never thought I would have any of the puppies returned, let alone have them come back abused.  I'm very aware it happens everyday and that we made a commitment to take any of them back.  I think it just blows my mind that it actually happens, all the time.  We were so grateful when we got those two calls to pick up Chance and Blaze.  To actually bring them home and help them heal from the horrible damage that was done and still plagues them sometimes.  If it means losing a couch to have them here with us, it is better than them being hurt and unloved.  A couch is replaceable, Chance and Blaze are not.

Chance's healing

Chance was one of the pups that came back, abused and neglected.  We made it through the trauma stages of his return and the fear of abandonment issues, but are still working out his anxiety.  We knew his former owners did things to him, but we were not sure of the details.  He freaks out when I try to examine him, give him medicine, or touch him with a foreign object. It usually takes both of us to give his flea medicine or look at an injury.  He will sit on Daddy's lap while I get to be the "bad guy" and play doctor.  His panic is decreasing, but it is always there.

Over the course of the last year and a half being with us, Chance has become such a strong and confident dog that  I've almost forgotten that the trauma still exist.  Chance reminded me when I tried to give him some ear medicine by myself.  He reacted.  I tried to handle him as gently and quickly as possible while he fought me.  He made the task difficult, but I was finally able get the drops in.  Though his reaction was better than in has been in the past, it was still strong. 

I was shaken by his reaction and what Chance was telling me.  They had hurt him with things.  Objects.  As he lay quietly on his pillow, I knelt beside him and began to caress his head and his body with a gentle soothing touch.  When he lifted his head I would talk to him, letting him know it was me and that he was safe.  This caressing helped me work my way down his body.  I was amazed when he didn't flinch and let me touch his feet and put my fingers between his toes.  Then I took the ear drop bottle and rubbed his head and ears with it.  I stopped several different times when he lifted his head, showing him the bottle and continued to comfort him.  He felt safe.  I was able to check him over and he handled it well. 

I didn't realized the origin of the abuse Chance's reaction stemmed from.  I'm still slowly learning how to handle situations with an abused dog.  I am a survivor of abuse and there are situations that are still very delicate for me.  Even though Chance is doing fantastic, he too has these delicate areas.  It has shaken me to the core, the pain and fear he still feels, even with someone he trust.  They don't forget any more than we do.  We know when someone has hurt us, so do dogs.  It is amazing how tender and sensitive their hearts and feelings are.  They are caring beings, as any real dog lover knows.  To see them hurt in any way is heartbreaking, but to see them still suffer from the actions of someone who was suppose to love them, is crushing.  Chance made me aware of a delicate area for him and the reasons why.  It gave me a deeper insight into his fears and pains and how to help him through them.

Chance knows there are many rescued pets out there and wants to know what your human is learning about you and your tender issues.