THIS IS NOT A 'NORMAL' CAT
I was completely disillusioned by Sparky and two previous cats (all whom have passed on) who were mellow, affectionate, and cool as cucumbers and I thought all cats were that way. Then I got Boxer and suddenly I was dealing with this wild, obnoxious cat who demanded my attention and didn't care how he got it. And while I would like to blame his behavior on the dogs, he has always been this way. More dogs just gives him more reasons to be ruthless.
Just let her try to sit down!!
MY LAP WAS OUR BATTLEGROUND
Every night the war would begin with this 16 pound cat, who according to the vet was not overweight, where we would have our battle of wills. He would stand on my lap, I mean just stand there on my tired-end-of-the-day-legs like dead weight. Then he would slowly turn around, doing his 'claw dance,' butt in my face all the while jerking and knocking me with head butts that had the force of a miniature ram. I in turn would hide my arms behind my back, or try to get him to lay down, until my sensitive nerves couldn't take it anymore and I would push him off my lap. Or I would try to pet him, hoping to calm him and it would only rile him up more. I almost dreaded our nightly visit and these battles only fueled my angry feelings towards him more.
SPARKY NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS
And there was my struggle. I'd missed my heart cat so much, I just couldn't accept that Boxer was nothing like him. I hadn't even realized that I'd had built up these resentments towards Boxer because he wasn't Sparky. A few months ago I became aware of how much these thoughts and feelings were hurting our relationship and that I needed to change the course we were taking.
|Look deep inside...or else|
I began by letting go of Sparky and focusing on Boxer. I started practicing more patience and kindness with Boxer, but we were still struggling with his demands for affection. So when Pamela's Challenge came along, I seized the opportunity to improve our lap time by using simple "ignore and reward" technique. When he was quiet on my lap and/or being gentle, I would pet him. When he got too pushy, I hid my hands. It was simple. And it worked. Not only did our lap time improve, but our over all relationship took a dramatic turn. We are not having those large uproars on my lap every night. Now, we are enjoying each others company and I am beginning to see Boxer for more of who he is, rather than who he is not.
I am sure I am not alone when grieving for another animal to misplace those hopes onto a new one. Boxer was never going to be Sparky and I still missed Sparky more because of it. Their personalities are almost bipolar to each other and it has been difficult letting go of that, not to mention that these differences created a situation with a type of cat, I'd never dealt with before. It was frustrating because I have discovered I don't know cats like I do dogs and I didn't know what to do.
Pamela's challenge gave me a way to acknowledge what I started with Boxer and our healing process and helped me to focus on one aspect of our relationship-the time on my lap. If I accomplish nothing else with Boxer except this, I have conquered everything. Our evenings together are almost like heaven now and I'm finding myself falling in love with that little booger all over again.
Yep! I got her back.
I mean seriously, who can resist all this mancat savvy!!
A special thanks to Pamela and her Something Wagging Challenge that gave Boxer and I what we had been missing. Our relationship.
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