Thank You Pamela-PTSD Forum

I can not be the only dog lover out there who suffers from depression.  I also know I can't be the only dog lover out there who has been through a traumatic childhood.  And I know I am not alone in dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder better known as PTSD.

I know there must be others out there who struggle with one or all three of these issues.  And I want to let you know, you are not alone.  I am there too.  It is a constant fight that is baffling and cunning and does everything to break you.

The dogs and my husband are a huge part of my healing process, but they don't change the fact that I live with my demons every day.

That's why I want to tell you about a

 PTSD Town Forum that will be streaming live at http://upnorthlive.com 

on Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 8pm EST.

Experts in the field of PTSD will help explain, diagnose and discuss treatments available.

It is free to attend and there is no registration for stream live feed, only if you physically plan to attend. 

The reason I thanked Pamela, is a feel like she busted the door on depression for me with her candid and honest post about her struggles with depression.  And I thank her for that.  We are not alone.  Together we can be there for each other and help each other through each of our battles. 

And that is when I realized there are others out there who would like to attend the forum and with the magic of the internet, anyone can.  

The differences between two spayings: Mother and daughter

Blaze has been spayed for a couple of months now and is doing fantastic.  She is being Blaze, with all her quirks and silly attitudes and I have been breathing a great sigh of relief after she finally healed up because she is still my girl.

One of my many fears with getting Blaze spayed was what I experienced with Silver who was spayed at five years old, one year after having her puppies.  Silver had a hormonal imbalance that caused false pregnancy, depression, and anxieties.  She passed this on to her daughter Blaze.

When Blaze was returned to us (she is one of the pups from our litter) I couldn't have two intact females along with Brut and the rest of the dogs.  The whole situation with Blaze coming back was chaotic enough and we had to make a decision of spaying Silver or Blaze.  Since Silver already had a litter of pups, we decided to keep Blaze intact if we ever wanted another litter to keep for ourselves.

It took Silver nearly a year and half to come back to herself after being spayed.  She was mopey and depressed for a long time and just didn't seem herself anymore.  There were many contributing factors at time that I think made the difference between Blaze having such a speedy recovery while Silver took so long.  

One of the biggest difference between Silver and Blaze was that Silver had just had her first pregnancy and litter about 9 months before and was at the beginning of her first cycle since being pregnant when we had her spayed.  This meant her hormones were soaring and she was probably emotionally looking forward to being pregnant again.  Blaze we had fixed after her entire heat cycle, including the false pregnancy was over.

Our vet was booked up for surgeries at the time and we ended up having to take Silver to a different vet in order to have the procedure done.  Blaze was done at our primary vet and we were comfortable with her there.  

Silver was sick from the anesthesia and I stayed up with her while she vomited all night long.  She really took the whole thing pretty hard.  Blaze was fine and slept through her first night home.

Life at our house had just changed with Blaze coming back and dividing the house.  Everything was out of control, especially Brut which made Silver's healing all that more difficult.  When I look back at that time period, I can barely remember it, except for that first night Silver was home.  That's how crazy things were.  About the time frame that Silver came back around to being herself again, was about the same time that things began to calm and settle in the house of the 24 Paws.  Silver kind of got the raw end of the deal with our urgency to fix her in order to create less problems whereas with Blaze I was able to take care of her better and not make the same mistakes I did with Silver.

I don't know if this info may help anyone else out, but there are definitely things I would do different with Silver if I had it to do over again.  I would wait until she went through her heat rather than do it right before including going through the false pregnancy.  Although as hard as the spaying was on her, it might have been a blessing that she didn't go through a false pregnancy, after finally having a real one.  That may have been a bonus I didn't think of.  And I know her progress was slower or didn't show as clearly because of the upheaval in our home with Blaze coming back and then Chance.  That knocked all of us off our feet and I'm sure Silver as well.

All in all I'm just glad they both made it through the surgery and are both sound and happy dogs.  It is still amazing to me what time will do for all of us.   

Just needed to unplug for a while...

Too many things were getting me down.  I am struggling with some depression and needed to withdrawl from the outside world for a while.  Staying close to dogs and hubby, I started getting the camera out and taking some pictures.  I almost forgot how much fun that can be, even when they are not all about
the dogs!  ☺

This is Lake Michigan of the Great Lakes around Michigan and parts of it are still frozen.  It was chilly out that way and you could feel the dampness in the air.  Still beautiful though.  We have seen some of the best sunsets on this lake though Lake Superior (another one of the Great Lakes) has some great ones as well.

We still have small mounds of snow that we are waiting to melt.  This spring has been one of the slowest to warm up and one of the coldest.  We are still gathering wood for our wood furnace to keep warm at night as it gets below freezing.

About 12 days old

My seedlings for my garden are coming along nicely.  I have tomatoes, cucumbers, green and hot peppers, lima beans (which I'm having no luck with) and pumpkins.  I'll be adding a handful of other seeds that I will sow directly into the garden like cabbage, carrots, radishes, green beans and corn.  It is always a race with out short season to try to get the most out of it.

And here they are now at a month old!

And we can't have a post without at least one dog pic...Check Brut out!!

 What a stud!

Brut is styling his own, one-of-a-kind punked out look, making the most of his winter to spring swing.  I have a special shot of Brut's new look that I'm saving for tomorrow's Wordless Wednesday.  Make sure you come back to check it out!

That's all for now at the house of the 24 Paws of Love.

Happy Tuesday to everyone!  ☺

Death is on my mind-Have you ever thought about after?

I was rolling around some pictures when I came upon some of Angel and Grumpy. (our two homed pups from Brut and Silver's litter who died last October) and it still shakes me.  Both deaths were tragic, unexpected, and quick. It is still hard to believe that I won't see either of them again or feel their fluffy fur or hug them again.  It has been hard to miss them knowing this.

At some point when I started this blog with the six dogs, I remember the impact I felt when other bloggers lost their dogs.  And that too was difficult as well.  I wrote this post back then about it.  ALL of my pets are close to the same age with the exception of Silver is 9 years old.  Brut is six, and the four kids are 5 years old.  Then there are the cats, Boxer is 7, Leia is 6 and Luigi the duck is 11 years old.  

God willing they all live to their full age, they will all be dying around the same time.  From Brut to Luigi they could go one after another, assuming Silver goes first.  

When I wrote that post I remember thinking that the heartbreak that will happen in this house will be devastating when that time comes.  Now once that happens and they finally feel I'm safe to be reinstated from the funny farm, I have three different ideas what I would do.

1) Travel.  Our home will be unbearable so empty and I figure two years on the road to explore the world while help in the grieving process.  These 6 dogs are so precious and I've never been without a dog in my life, I think that I will need the physical and mental break in order to survive.  

2)  Rescue dogs.  I will have a place to rescue and take in those unwanted dogs and cats that I have missed being able to do with my bunch being here.  

3)  Breed Blaze, have and keep all the puppies to keep the 24 Paws of Love genes going while giving me an opportunity to build my dream sled dog team.  Which will obviously happen before she dies and will help with the impending grieving that will come when her and the others die.  

Out of all of them #3 is the most likely to happen. Although the rescue dogs is likely to happen as well.  And maybe I'll be traveling as well.  Who knows!

Sorry for the morbid piece, but this wasn't what I'd planned on writing about.  After seeing those pics of Angel and Grumpy though it just all fell out.  

Have you ever thought about what you will do when your pet dies?    

A Little Mommy Time

Many days I feel like my days are well balanced between the two packs.  There are days when one pack may receive more attention than the other or days when certain dogs are singled out, but I still try to maintain a balance and meet everyone needs.  Then there are days like today when I feel like I have failed every single one of them. 

It is these low days when I find myself in mental exhaustion that I just don't have the energy to give them much and they suffer.  At least I think they do because it makes me suffer.  There is nothing worse than not being able to give the simple things that I believe dogs need.  A walk, playtime, training.  I just couldn't do it today and it was difficult day with that fact alone, not to mention all the other stresses that have brought me down.  It makes me feel like the worse dog mom in the world.  It's difficult maintaining two packs of dogs, there is a constant back and forth that can be maddening at times.  The constant division is just that, division.  It hurts that things must be that way for now and sometimes makes me wish there had been a way to see into the future of Chance and Blaze's return for I would have never let them go in the first place.  That along with a number of other things I wish I could have done differently in raising my dogs.  I would like to fix everything between the two packs to make them one right now.  Yes, I have many regrets, things I would love to do over and sometimes have a hard time accepting things as they are now, but I also know I can't change what I didn't know and what happened.  Although sometimes it would be nice to start over.

I do believe everything happens for reason and that things have a way of working themselves out.  I have found taking baby steps and making mistakes along the way have brought all of the dogs closer to being reunited with each other.  Sometimes when depression gets the best of me, it is hard to see the progress and the reasons why, but I do know they are there.  It these days that I want to just curl up with all of them and tell them how sorry I am for screwing up.

For more on the two packs you can read:  How We Became Two Packs

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Thank you for our Award

We are honored by all the awards we have received and then to receive another one from The Blab Labs well, we just had take a play bow at the wonderfulness of this dog blogging community.  We don't feel we are any more special than any of the other dog blogs out there, but we appreciate the award. 

Dog blogging has become a wonderful resource in helping my with my depression.  The love, care, and joy from writing and reading other animal blogs is contagious and lifts my spirits because we are not alone in our crazy, insane love for our animals. Sometimes my animals and blogging are the only highlight of my day and this experience has given me has become a valuable tool in coping with my disorder.

I think that all of you rock when it comes to blogging and I love this "little" animal community.  This has been such a wonderful adventure and I would like to share my thanks for it. 


With that, Here are the rules (copied from The Blab Labs):

1.Please thank the dog who gave this to you, and link to them.

2.Name 10 things about yourself. Try to be as creative as possible.

3.Then, award 15 doggie bloggers. It doesn't matter whether they are old or new. All furends deserve this.

4.Comment on the new receivers of this award's blog to let them know of the love.

5.And the most important: HAVE FUN!!!
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Thank you The Blab Labs for this wonderful award.
 
10 things you may not know about us:
 
1.Brut reminds Silver every chance he gets that he wants to make more puppies.

2.  Silver lets Brut know every chance she gets that labor with 10 kids was enough.

3.  Fiona and Chance would make excellant food detectives.

4.  Despite the terror that Brut is,  Fiona is the only dog who can scare the beegeezes out of him.

5.  All the dogs put on their best show to be chosen for a ride with Daddy.

6.  We think it is adorable that Blaze is mothering three different squeaky toys during the last weeks of her false pregnancy.

7.  Blaze is obsessed with the cats and isn't allowed in the same room with them yet.

8.  Brut and Zappa like to act out their own version of  "Whose the Boss?"

9.  Chance and Blaze could get a job at a restuarant clearing tables, plates, silverware...

10.  Silver never gave us kisses until she watched all her puppies give them.

We believe all the dog blogs deserve this award, but we are working real hard on following the rules.  BOL 
Here are some of our picks:

Furbaby Chat

Scratch My Belly

Dear World, It's Me Liz

Arwen's Pack

Furever Home

Cult of the Greyhounds

The (mis)Adventures of Sage

Hound Girl

Jazzi's World

I Still Want More Puppies

ricks dogs blog

Peggy's Pet Place

The Dogs of Greenhill Farm

Holly's House

Life Spent Wagging

(A playbow exit.)