My Angels

One of the most amazing things about having so many dogs is finding each ones true spiritual gifts in my time of need.  My childhood abuse can bring me to my knees as I continue to recover from the damage that was done.  I went through a flashback a few nights back, as I actually relive an experience that happened to me from that time period as if it is happening now.

As this nightmare began, I was with the Back Dogs, who all continually rotated their positions so that I was encompassed by them.  Zappa was on the couch with me and licked my tears and hands, helping to keep me grounded.  Then when I needed to be nurtured, Silver was by my side and let me cry in her fur.  Zappa returned as the tears and pain began to build, when Brut got silently on the other end of the couch.  I was protected by each of them as the pain hit it's peak.  All the while Fiona was directly across from me, knowing she would be my nighttime protector when I went to bed.

When the flashback ended, I walked in shock to the Front Dogs room, where Chance and Blaze immediately laid next to me, each on one side.  They kept squeezing as tightly as possible to me acting as my shields, as I lay in complete exhaustion.  They didn't even get up when Daddy came home and when it was time for bed, Fiona who never lets me down was there to keep me safe as I slept.

What was the most beautiful thing was the security, the love and comfort they gave and how all of them were in tune with me.  Their spirits were in tune with my pain, the reason for that pain and they were there for me.  This isn't the first time it has happened and I doubt it will be the last.  I have found there is more to dogs than being just a great companion.  It is like having a Higher Spirit always there taking care of you.  It has been proven to me over and over.  I am ever so humbled by the love that exist in these beautiful beings and the true blessing of having the honor to call them mine.  A gift I will always hold dearly in my heart until the end of time.

         

Monday Memories-One Line

OK, so I have an inch think folder of info about dog pregnancies and births.  Silver's been in pre-labor for 19 hours and I've been up with her since 7:00am the previous morning.  Knowing things could happen any minute.  There was one line that I remember in that stack of papers that stuck in my mind:  Follow your dog outside, for how many times does a soon-to-be mother dog think she has to go potty and starts giving birth.  I remember laughing at the statement, it just cracked me up the possibility.  So I ran after Silver every time she had to go out with my flashlight in the midst of a bitter winter night, watching every move she made.

Next thing I know, Silver is squatting and next thing I know there is a bubble coming out of her.  I freak out.  In those few seconds I don't know what it was, but somehow something register to me that it wasn't a puppy.  I rush Silver back in the house and sure enough her contractions begin.  I wake up my husband and Silver drops Zappa in my husband's hands. (Monday Memories-Surprise!) Soon enough nine puppies follow and there is a total of ten.

Now the vet had told us that there were ten puppies for certain, but there was always a possibility of one or two that couldn't be seen on the x-ray.

Silver jumps up after the last puppy Fiona was born and is ready to go outside.  Her skin has snapped back into shape except for a bulge about the size of a puppy on her right side.  Is this where Fiona was?  Or is this the hidden puppy that couldn't be seen? (Monday Memories-Black Beauty Momma) Dog moms are known for having so many puppies, getting up and walking around and then give birth to more.  There can be an hour or more between puppies and we just weren't totally sure about this bulge and what it meant.

Then I remember the gray bubble Silver had expelled.  I run out into the yard looking for signs of it where she had squatted.  I check a few other places she had been.  Nothing is there.  I am baffled.  I know what I saw.  I am starting to panic.  Silver is showing all signs of being done giving birth, but after being up for over 24 hours now, I can't stop worrying about the possibility of this "lost" puppy and gray sac.  It has to mean something.

The vet says to wait.  If there are more puppies they will come.  If not, he informs us to take her to the vet and have her x-rayed.  I end up checking the yard a few more times.  I am scared and I can't seem to make any sense of that gray sac I know I saw.

Are all you mothers and breeders laughing at me yet?  It wasn't until almost six months later I was typing out my whole dog breeding and birth experience for my records,  when ONE line in my thick stack of notes finally caught my eye:  the gray bubble was her water sac.  Talk about a sigh of relief!  Finally the mystery was solved.  Out of all the information I had compiled it was only mentioned ONCE, just as the line about following your dog outside in case they think they have to potty.  If it hadn't have been for latter statement, I probably wouldn't have thought to go outside trailing after Silver, and would have missed seeing the mysterious water sac to know that the birthing process was about to begin.   How one line made all the difference in knowing what to do and while the other slipped from my mind and posed fear and panic that I would never get an answer to until many months later.  Funny how things work out.

Silver didn't have anymore pups.  We did end up taking her to the vet for x-rays just to be sure.  Another Monday Memories in the works....             

Moon Trip

Mommy wouldn't let us go to the moon, something about the price of rocket fuel...

So we created our own moon landing!

Look at all these craters!

With buried toys!!  Who knew??

That's one small paw for Chance and Blaze and one gigantic paw for doggies everywhere!!

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Blog the Change-Adpoting An Abused Animal

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There is a stigma about adopting abused animals and that they are too damaged to be saved.  They will come with many behavioral problems and issues that will take too much time and money to be helped.  It would just be easier to get a puppy or kitten and raise them the way we would like. 

While these statements may be true, I believe there is often a misconception about all of them.  It is difficult to bear the weight of damage that has been done to an abused animal.  It can be challenging trying to understand behaviors you may not be accustom to, but the rewards far outweigh the challenge.

It takes a special person with patience, understanding and a willingness to give.  It takes time, lots of time to regain trust with creatures who have survived such harsh conditions due to human cruelty, but there is nothing more rewarding than watching that trust open up.  Witnessing the little bits of love that will begin to sprout as they begin to accept their new life and the love that surrounds them.  It is like being part of a miracle.

And for those that think that getting a puppy or kitten will eliminate those behavior problems, think again.  All young pets come with their own set of tribulations from the first day you bring them home.  It doesn't matter that they came from the best breeders, animals are still animals living in a human world.  They have instinctual tendencies that they are going to act on.  Coupled that with genes, their care as newborns and their particular breed, you are going to have some problems.  No more different than you would with an abused animal, the level of intensity and depth is just different.

Living with six dogs and two cats I have experienced many different behavior problems.  Two dogs from our litter came back abused and we are still working out the finer details of their abuse issues and the way the previous owners raised them. What I find amazing about these two is that heir gratitude is unmatched making every step of our journey with them worth it.  I have a dog I got as a puppy that was taken from his mother and siblings during his socializing period.  We discovered these facts along with an aggressive gene towards dogs that we are still working with.  We are seeing progress every day.  These are three testimonials in world where they are many more like them.  Is it challenging? Yes.  Painful?  Yes.  Rewarding?  More than my heart can share.

If you have the time and love, think about adopting an abused animal.  You will not only be saving their life, but your own.

The Dynamic Duo

Chance and Blaze feverishly plotted world domination

I came up with the brainstorm in order to condense time as night started to fall with the last two dogs that needed to be walked.  "Let's walk Chance and Blaze together."  My husband hesitated and hawed around, but reluctantly agreed.  So like the idiots that we are, we leashed up the two Front Dogs and prepared for our walk. 

Now I don't know what brain cell I was working with but let me tell you it wasn't the smart one.  I never seem to really think through the actions and consequences with these spontaneous thoughts and for some reason I always go on the assumption that it won't be a big deal. 

So we leashed the two powerhouses, they sat at the gate and once we were over the threshold, BAM!, they were off!!  They shot out like a couple of rockets and we weren't out of the driveway!  All of the sudden I'm trying to get control of a locomotive who has suddenly forgot English or any sense that I even existed.  Chance morphed into this burly mass of muscle rippling with sudden superhero strength.  I wrenched with all my might grasping at some control for which I was no match. 

My brain started screaming at me,  "WARNING!  WARNING!  RED ALERT!" while I wrestle with this monster that had emerged.  My brain couldn't seem to compute the simple imagery I had of this idiotic idea and what was actually happening. 

Chance jerked left and right, back and forth, while I had both hands on the leash.  I yelled, "NO!"  "STOP!"  "CHANCE!"  I swear to God all he did was grin at me like the devil himself.  He was loving every minute of it, as I was getting angrier and angrier.  He took that control and ran with it, literally.  Finally when we reached a certain spot, I turned him around and separated him from Blaze.  That's when I was able to calm down and get him to pay attention to me.  He calmed down a little and started to gain a bit of focus.  Yes that was me back there that you were heaving around.  Couldn't shake me loose, could you?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Once we reached a turning point in the road, both dogs began to calm.  We were heading home.  I really couldn't get mad at Chance, being that it was a contextual position I put him in, I couldn't expect him to actually listen to me when he was with Blaze.  Although I'd like to beat myself with a 2x4 a couple of times for actually thinking there would be no problems taking them together.  I really don't know what I was thinking.  My husband said it best when he said, "They have a lot of power together don't they?"  Which is true.  There is a lot of physical strength between them, but it is the conjoined mental power that dominates.  It is like it overrides every part of their ability or want, like two forces coming together and creating a tornado.  It is mind blowing and astonishing and a bit intimidating.  Harnessing that kind of strength is challenging to say the least.  Every part of their beings changes when they are out together.  They seem to combine as a unit to become something entirely new.  It is awesome if you can witness it as long as you are not crying out for dear life on the other end of the leash!

How I could have forgotten the supremacy of these two beings when given the opportunity to unite is way beyond me.  Or how I thought that my simple leash training with Chance was going to influence him when Blaze and him combined forces.  Silly, silly me.  You'd think I'd learn by now.  BOL!!
    

What is Your Relationship to Your Dog?

Most of my post are fairly serious in nature, as you may have noticed.  BOL!  The reason:  childhood trauma survived by the love of a dog.  If it wasn't for my mom's dog and those that were to follow, I don't know how far I would have made it in life and I guess I take that kind of relationship pretty seriously.  Dogs have saved my life more than once. 

I believe everything with a dog and other animals is about relationship and the equality that exist between humans and animals.  Every day I find a deeper way to connect and bond, co-habituating with these beautiful creatures.  The unconditional love they give is unmatched and their forgiveness is astounding.  I never tire of it.  I could write books about the give and take that happens communicating with these being on a primal level as well as rising together on an emotional and intellectual level.  It can be mind-blowing and very humbling at the same time. 

I have been told I have a gift, being able to communicate with my dogs, but I don't believe it is any different from any other relationship I have.  I have just found that animals are more responsive to me than humans.  We seem to understand each other.  There are givens, like they don't judge or criticize, but it is deeper than that.  I found freedom and power when I gave up the notion that they are so different from us and are so difficult to understand and read.  I found that they think and feel more like us than not.  Do I understand everything?  No, nobody is meant to know it all, but I believe it is a growing and learning experience, just like any relationship.  Just as my ideas and beliefs have changed over the years, I believe dogs evolve along with us.

What a fascinating journey that we are able to experience and sharing in it together.

How has your dog changed the way you view him/her and your relationship together?  Have you found that your ideas or beliefs about dogs have changed as you have grown together?  Has your relationship with your dog ever made you question stereotypical beliefs that you or someone else may have had about your bond with your dog?

Brut Freedom

 When Brut was young, I would let him run off-leash.  At first he wouldn't take to it, he would rather be leashed.  He needed that connection with me.  He needed the reassurance.  There was a short period where he took that freedom.  Later as we learned of his aggression, he was always leashed.  Staying leashed together we found a new kind of freedom.  I wasn't just witnessing it, I was participating in it, together with him.  Our communication grew through this connection.  His body language gave way to the sounds and sights that were before us.  We responded to each other almost telepathically.  We answered each other in rhythm like synchronized hearts.  I have been spellbound by this phenomenon of feeling more free leashed together than when I used to let him run wild.  I believe it comes down to the fact that we were sharing the moment, every moment with every movement and each vibe that ran through the leash.  Almost like an umbilical chord.  It was more than just an understanding or deep thoughts, it was the connection of our beings experiencing the moment together.  Simultaneously we are united in our walks together as if one unit.  A bond that continues to set us free and is becoming deeper and stronger than any I have known.    

Monday Memories-Fiona's Gift

 Fiona at four months

Fiona has a gift.  I would have never known it if my husband hadn't coaxed me into letting the Zappa and Fiona sleep with me while he was away.  I always believed dogs shouldn't be allowed on the bed, especially at night, but seeing that I was going to be alone, I let him talk me into it.

Zappa and Fiona were about four months old when I let them start sleeping with me.  After being smashed between them to the point I couldn't move, I began to think twice about our sleeping arrangements. After several nights of this, I decided to keep them in their crates for one night.  I was in need of a good nights rest and I thought this was how I was the only way I was going to get it.

I am prone to nightmares and racing thoughts and this night was no different.  I struggled trying to calm my mind, but found myself in a sheer state of panic.  I jumped out of bed and let Fiona and  Zappa out of their crates and hurried back to bed.  Fiona jumped up on the bed and just stared at me with a look of, "I am your protector, please let me do my nighttime job.  That is why I am here."  I thanked her over and over in relief as she slammed up against my legs and soothed my soul into a restful sleep.  It was then that I understood the power of this little puppy that would continue until this day.

Now her crate is always left open and she sleeps with me every night.  Here's Fiona's gift:  It is the timing of when she gets on the bed.  It is always when my nightmares and scary thoughts are starting to let loose.  She is on the bed in minutes without a word between us.  Every time.  Every time she is right there as those demons start taking hold and she comes to my rescue driving them out.  It is her gift and her job and she takes it very seriously.  It is a gift of rare beauty and one I shall never take for granted.

       Fiona now