This and that

Hello friends, 

Just a little of what's going on.  Hope you are all doing well. 

Boxer-boo

 Boxer was given 3 months to live from his cancer.  Today marks 3 months, 3 weeks and 2 days that he is still alive.  And we are so very grateful!  He is still doing pretty well even though the cancer is starting to spread.  Please pray for him.  Thank you!

Every night when the darkness settles in earlier and dominates the evening it feels like there is dead space.  It is the hardest part of the day when the loss of the dogs, especially Zappa, is prevalent.  

I make my own Christmas cards every year with the dogs in them.  Creating this year's card was a reality check that they are all gone.  

I have an image in my mind of a dog I would like to have.  I hold onto it when times are hard and I'm afraid I'll never have a dog again.  

Every night we still say good night to the 24 Paws.  Mark sings to them and I talk to them or lay silent while holding a pillow or blanket.  I feel their spirits strongest then and it is comforting.   

Until next time...

Patty ♥

Grandpa Mark and Grandson Zappa

Miss him so much.♥

      

The cats

Boxer on top, Leia on the bottom.

I don't mention the cats much, because, well, this is a dog blog, but they have been in our lives since before the 24 Paws.  Boxer and Princess Leia have become a great source of comfort over the last couple of years in dealing with the dogs' illnesses and deaths.  

I've discovered a new love for the cats after the dogs passed.  Boxer and I have played aggravation with each other for years.  After 17 years of it, I think we have finally come to a unanimous truce.  I'm sure it has something to do with age, but don't tell him I said that.  Boxer thinks he finally wore me down and won the game.  lol

It is never easy caring for sick dogs.  You're heart breaking every day on borrowed time.  The cats were my escape from that.  After their nightly meal we would curl up together in their bed and snuggle.  Sometimes I would cry and Boxer would head butt me over and over.  

My relationships with the cats, is complicated, probably because they are cats. My previous two cats were more like dogs than cats and did not prepare me for how catty Boxer and Leia are.  I've been shocked and appalled at how much cattiness Boxer and Leia have in them.

Boxer, my tuxedo cat, is the dominate angry cat.  He is always glaring and disgusted with something. (usually me)  I swear the only time he is happy is being fed and being on my lap, otherwise, he's angry.

Leia, my Siamese, is psycho.  Simply put.  She is hyper off the charts.  She isn't mean or angry...she is just crazy.  I have to use my "get a grip" tone of voice to get her to back off from me. She is the pesky little sister that bugs Boxer and me.   

It's been a completely different household having just cats, that I have slowly learned to enjoy again.  Since they are both older, Boxer is 18 years old and Leia is 16 years old, I appreciate their quiet pace.

We found out a few weeks ago that Boxer has a rare, aggressive form of cancer.  We have seen two different vets and an oncologist.  There is an option of surgery, but the space is tight and they may not be able to get clean margins.  That means since it is aggressive, it will come back again.  We have opted not to do the surgery and they gave him three months to live.  That's how fast this cancer spreads. So, we are spending every minute possible with him.    

Leia has kidney disease (which is common in cats) that is being regulated with special food and supplements.  She is pretty stable and we try to keep her that way by making sure she eats. So far, so good.

So, while our lives have changed with the loss of the dogs, we still have Boxer and Leia to hold on to for however long we may have with them.    

 

Angry at Life

 I'm angry.  Yes, about the world situation, but this anger is a little more personal.   I'm in the anger phase of my grief of losing Chance, Blaze and Fiona.  I've been here before, but it is sticking around as I get to the core of it.  

I'm angry that life has left me with one dog.  Don't get me wrong, I am more than grateful for Zappa, but I miss having a house full of dogs.  I feel cheated in some ways that Fiona, Zappa's partner, isn't here.  I am angry God took all three, practically at the same time.  I have no problem being angry at God and telling him how I feel, but in the end God always wins.  I mean, the dogs were 13 years old.  They weren't going to live forever...maybe it is the cancer I'm mad at.  Why did they have liver cancer and die from it?  All of the 24 Paws that have died, have died from cancer.  Maybe Zappa will be the first who doesn't.  Maybe that's why he is here.  Among many other reasons.  Zappa doesn't seem to be hurting from having all our attention.  I think as he has healed he knows we are at his beck and call and he is lapping it up.  I think we have pretty much concluded that we won't be getting a dog for Zappa.  He is the last of the Paws and we want to honor him for that.  Sometimes I think another dog would be good for him, but the thought is temporary.  I don't see a long term positive for him.  Zappa needs all our attention in these tender years.  And we need him as a representative of the Paws.  

Funny how God works, I thought I'd be ranting and raving, but, really I'm content and at peace.  I know later tonight, the anger will come, even though it is already subsiding as a whole.  I never know what might be next, but I've made it this far already, so I think I can make it.  

Hope everyone is having a good day.  Remember to hug your dog. ♥ 

Peace.

    

Biopsy Results for Silver

Silver has cancer.  An aggressive form that attacks the ducts of the mammary glands.

We are opting not to operate to remove tumor as there are too many risks, the cancer is in a tough spot to get, and more than likely would come back even more aggressive.

For now Silver is doing well.  You wouldn't know she is sick at all.

She is still wearing a cone because of her stitches from the biopsy and will have to wear it until she has them out a week from now.

Please pray for us.

Thank you.