If I'm alright with myself, then I'm alright with everyone else
If I'm not OK with me, then I can find fault with everyone
For as long as I can remember I've never wanted to be me. I wanted to be someone else, anyone but who I was. For years and years I was taught I wasn't good enough, smart enough, or worthy of love. It has been a very slow and painful journey to grasps the straws like self worth and self love that hold the keys to my self-acceptance.
My struggle with my self worth and love transfer to my dogs as well. A friend sent me a video about a female lab gently communicating with a very young boy with Down Syndrome. You can see video HERE.
The last message on the video was God Doesn't Make Mistakes
. And I cried. Not only for myself but for my dogs as well. They could never be that
dog who was so tender and understanding with this boy. Logically I know that they are not meant to be that
but in those moments I wish they could.
And so because of my own infliction I instantly discredited myself , our dogs and our entire relationship because we are different. And it is in
this inner conflict where I gain my strength from the dogs that I have the right to be who I am, just as I was designed at the core of me.
For as much as I may wish Brut or Zappa or any of them to be like so-and-so they have taught me at a depth that no one else could teach me about self value and worth. For they are the very essence of being true to their being and being who they are. It has taken all of their flaws to keep holding that chord that I am not perfect (another one of my character defects), but that I can make mistakes and still be worthy of their love and mine.
For it is in those moments when our true self arises, whether it is with one dog or all six that they show me again and again, I am worth it. And since I believe every relationship with my dogs whether in part or as a whole is a two way street, then I must have shown them that they are worth it too as we reflect this worth back and forth between us.
And so the journey continues. Deep in the paws of love and the eyes that reflect my soul. For I need no mirror, just need to look deeply into their pools of love to open my heart to my own.
What do you mean we're not perfect?
If we were going for perfect around here, we'd all have been traded in for different models by now :-)
Best wishes as you continue on your journey of acceptance; I think we learn a lot more from imperfection anyway - what lesson is left to learn from perfection ;-)
I go through this too. I see so many pittie blog stars who are more obedient, social, etc. and I isntantly discredit myself. But then I instantly remember how my dogs are still perfect memebers of MY family and even though they aren't just like so-and-so they are MY son or daughter and we are absolutely meant to be together.
You are incredibly unique and amazign in what you do, and so are your pups!
Just knowing yourself and what it takes to go to the next level is huge. You are in a much better place now and are surrounded with love. Being perfect is not all it cracked up to be!!
Such a beautiful and honest post. Our furry friends really do give us strength, don't they?
You and the dogs are each exactly who you need to be at this moment to share the journey and life's deepest secrets together in a process of discovery and affirmation and awakening your inner strength/beauty. The WDA thinks you are all perfectly wonderful!
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