Second Step of Integration-The Door

First I'd like to thank our readers and supporters.  You guys are terrific!  We wouldn't be this far in our dog journey if it wasn't for all of you.  So, THANK YOU!

I started a couple of weeks ago with step 1 of integrating the two dogs packs, which was separating them while fixing their food, because they were fighting at the door that divides them.  It is something that has went on for some time, on occasion, but since Brut's death and recently with Silver's passing the fighting (growling, snarling, snapping, teeth bared) has increased in frequency and intensity.  So I took them away from the door, by putting them in their rooms while I get their meals together.  Worked out great!

That same day after they ate for the first time without all that worked up anxiety, I started blocking the door with my body, making them back up from it to stop the barking at the door.  When I got one side settled I went to the other side and settle that dog.  And I just kept going back and forth until they gave up.

Now Chance has a habit of rushing the door when he comes in from outside and Zappa is always on the other side ready to do battle.  I couldn't figure out how to stop him for the longest time.  It took a couple of days before it dawned on me I could open the fridge door and block the hallway that leads to separation door.  Don't worry, hubby is making me a board to slide back and forth.  No need to pay the energy company more than they need!  So after Chance circles back after seeing the blockage, I give him a treat when he comes to me.  Then I go to the other side and make Zappa back up and sit then treat.  Problem he's caught on how to get a treat, bark and here I come.  So one time when Zappa was being a royal pain and wouldn't stop barking because I wouldn't give him a treat, I put him in his room, he shut up and that worked out great.

And for those times I don't make it in time to stop a debate, I have a shaker can and a cowbell to get their attention.  Thankfully I have only had to use them a few times, but they are nice to have around.

So far it is going good.  The first 4 or 5 days were a little hairy, but now they only bark at the door with each other, instead of fight. At least the ones I don't get to in time.  They are short burst of "talking."  Things have really calmed down this last week.  I doubt it is all over, given the chance they would do it again, but for now we are moving forward with our "plan" as it comes to me.  :)

Here's a short video of our progress:  (or on YouTube)

Forgive me if this post may seem a little jumbly, for some reason it was difficult to write.

Sometimes you've just gotta let the dog lead

The roads were snow packed and were suppose to turn icy sometime during the evening.  I was in a dilemma about who to walk and how many at a time.  My sciatica had been acting up all day and the pain was always less in the evening.  Back and forth with my decision, when I finally decided to walk Chance and Blaze, but separately.  I could use the reprieve on my back, but it meant two walks.

I hadn't completely given up on walking the Back Dog Trio, when Blaze and I started out, but I wasn't sold on the idea either.

The evening was misty, foggy and glowed in white between the overcast sky and the snow on the ground.  The soft white brightened the walk and gave a warm and cozy feeling.

Blaze set a quick pace, just enough for me to keep up with her without totally losing my breath.  There was a difference in her tonight, she was relaxed and comfortable and for once we didn't feel at odds with each other.  She didn't pull or tug or dart but kept her path forward.  With each step I was letting go of the day's worries and letting Blaze lead the way.

She walked with confidence without being dominant or demanding as we went this way than that.  When we met our turnaround spot, Blaze gently led me forward.  She wanted this time with me and our special walk together.  So we carried on along the path, just her and I in a quiet, peaceful manner.  Enjoying every step that didn't lead to pain radiating down my arm that held the leash to my lower back.  This was wonderful!

Somewhere half way through I realized the Back Dogs were going to have to wait until tomorrow for their walks.  This was too precious to give up.  I wish I really had the words to describe it.  With Blaze, I have always been intimidated by her wit and smarts.  So I have always went into many walks with her trying to outwit and control her.  It has only lead to her painfully pulling me every which way, especially in the winter time when she has that Husky energy.  The battle of wits leaves me exhausted, frustrated and in severe pain.  Tonight I just went with her.  Followed her. And she proved her trust and maturity, as well as love.  This isn't the first time this has happened.  There have been a handful of other times we have walked with her in the lead, but this was the first time that she didn't try to take advantage of it and that was truly heartfelt.  Blaze spoke of her trust loud and clear.  If I let her, she will guide me.

The power of this evening's walk was tested a bit as we got closer to home and Blaze tugged me the opposite direction.  She wasn't ready for the walk to end and I obliged her.  We walked a little ways downtown, then turned around to come home and that seemed to prove I was listening and heard her.  Such simple blessings.

Maybe if I don't lead with so much fear when it comes to Blaze, we will have more walks like this.  I know we can walk further this way, which I would really love.  I was so amazed by the definition she gave me of herself, that I was truly blown away at how much she took care of me on the walk.  Peace, understanding and simple unconditional love.  All a girl could really want.  Especially when it goes both ways.

Aren't dogs beautiful?

Miracle on 24 Paw Lane

Brut and I had a miracle happen on our walk the other evening.  After eight years of being confronted by loose dogs on our walks with my dog aggressive Brut, a dog came barreling towards us and when Brut growled, the dog turned and ran away.  That my friends was a miracle.

Let me tell you why:


I can not tell you the countless times we have run into loose dogs that either would confront Brut or worse, would want to be friendly.  I have been lucky with theses confrontations never to have a dog fight on a walk, but the ones who were completely oblivious to Brut's warnings were the ones who scare me the most. They just insisted on getting closer and closer to Brut while Brut will lunge and growl at them.  I could never understand this behavior and it was pointed out to me that these dogs are under socialized in the comments of a post I wrote HERE.  Never once has Brut hurt or even come close to touching these dogs, but there is a lot of effort on my part to make sure that didn't happen.

But something different happened this time while Brut and I were out that night.  And I can't even begin to tell you the amount of awesome it was.

I took Brut through a part of the neighborhood that he's never been before ever and he was doing really good.  We were coming up on a house that I knew had a loose dog and just as we made it to the driveway, the dog come barreling at us with the owner yelling.  I was pulling Brut away from the dog before the dog actually reached us, when suddenly the dog stopped and crouched down. It was obvious this dog was of a submissive natural.  Brut was under complete control, he growled just once and the dog turned and ran back home.  It was that simple. Brut finally got someone to listen to him.  All he asked is that the dog go away and this one did.  It was awesome.  We wasn't being rude or mean, he just warned the dog to stay away and the dog did.  That has never happened before!  And just like that Brut and I carried on our way easy as pie!  I still can't believe it happened.  Simple dog language that they both spoke and it was wonderful.

If that wasn't enough awesome, we ran into a small group of teenagers after that and Brut didn't flinch an inch.  Which was completely incredible!  He had quite a night and I couldn't have been more proud of him!

 

My Therapy Dogs at Work

Dear Friends,

It has been a rough couple of days for me dealing with my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  I had a trigger that set off a chain of reactions and I really struggled today.  Thank Goodness for the dogs.  When I felt I was splitting from myself, I cuddle with one of them and it grounded me.  It is probably the reason my post aren't very cute and funny.  My dogs are my lifeline.  They always have been.  And maybe having "therapy dogs" all my life to help me through my childhood abuse and the aftermath of it has given me a different perspective than some might have about dogs.

When I'm in this scathed state of body and mind, I relive that which was done to me and I am frozen and emotionally paralyzed.  Deep in my mind I'm calling for help and when that call comes to surface, I will have the strength to go to one of the dogs, who is open to receive me and just smother them with kisses and cuddles until I feel feeling once again rush to my brain.  That's when I know I'm OK and I am safe and well cared for.  That's what they do for me, unfreeze my brain and let me feel their love wash over me.  And this has been ongoing since I was very young and it is the way I survived.

I don't know that I could every really describe how that really feels, but the above is close.  I can go from feeling death to life with just a furry touch.  And it is so wonderful.  I bounced back quickly today because I had that rejuvenation with the dogs.  And I know everything is going to be OK.

   What better therapy than to cuddle with the 24 Paws of Love?

Brut Self-Love

I've needed dogs all my life, they were my mentors on love, but I never needed I dog as badly as I needed Brut.  He's been teaching me the hardest lesson I've ever had to learn and one that only he could teach.  Self-love.

I've been in a downward spiral of self hate for most of my life and living thru the memories of my childhood abuse (PTSD) only made things worse.

I think it is why I related with and loathe Brut's aggression.  It made me face myself and that was the last thing I knew how to do.

There was a part of me that loved his freedom and power to express himself.  Nobody walks all over Brut.  I struggled to reclaim that power in my own life.  To have the confidence and strength that would stop myself from my own self beatings.

And I hated Brut too for his aggression and the violence and cruelty it portrayed.  It became a cycle that I couldn't see.

I fought hard for my heart dog.  Even before I knew a word that described him.  Little did I know that every time I faced Brut, I faced myself.

Brut's aggression would go from 0 to 60 and back in a matter of breaths.  I took a little longer on my end of forgiveness.  

No matter if it was my fault or his for a fight, eventually I came around to forgiving him and most

important, I continued to love him.  And every time I loved him, a little piece of me was loved.

This awful, horrible being I grew up thinking I am, was chipping away when I was confronted with Brut and his aggression.  For I already knew the beautiful being Brut was. I was shocked to discover much later he was thinking the same thing about me.

It has taken many years of dog's unconditional love that kept me believing in love at all. It was Brut that started breaking down that self prison with every growl, snarl, and gnashing of his teeth to wake this girl up and set her free.

   

The Brut Whisperer

I sat looking at Brut as he looked out over his kingdom.  I could see the expression in his eyes even from where I was sitting.  He had a smile on his face as his large head grazed from side to side, searching the backyard for any signs of critter movement on which to pounce.  Brut's shoulders were down, his haunches relaxed and his eyes were full.  He was one content dog and I caught my breath as I realized the biggest change that had occurred in our relationship, I was talking softly to him, even to the point of whispering.

In the beginning I panicked and ran with fear when this aggressive dog would act out on the other dogs.  I yelled, I screamed, I made a fit of noise to break up fights.  I would get so frustrated that I would stomp my feet and slam doors with anger.  I was ridiculed with fear because Brut was a scary dog and I reacted out of that fear.

I knew raising my voice set Brut off when he was about to attack a dog and I struggled with making myself calm when he was acting up.  Some days Brut was just in a bad mood, testy I call it and he would try to pick fights and test me.

I don't know how else to describe the dynamics that happened with Brut and I, but I wasn't proud of it.  I practiced and practiced to control my tone of voice with him and together we began to heal.

It has been this past year or so that I've discovered the value of a soft tone and whisper have made in my relationship with Brut stronger than ever. 

And this is what I was thinking about as I watched his gentle form stroll over to me.  How the aggressive dog of the bunch quieted my own aggressions inside of me.

*****************************************************************************

Reminder:  PTSD forum

PTSD Town Forum that will be streaming live at http://upnorthlive.com 

on Thursday, August 28, 2014 at 8pm EST.

Dog Life Lessons-The Art of Letting Go

You all know the phrase, "Like a dog with a bone."  How a dog is when given something precious will not let go of it and usually has to be taught to let go.  And it is tough lesson for a dog to learn because they just want to hang on and keep it forever.

One of Chance's favorite games is jumping and chasing for a toy that is on a rope or line.  He also enjoys this with the water hose when I swing it around.  He is quite good at it and loves testing his skills.  Chance learned early that in order for the game to continue, he had to let go of the toy or hose so that I can swing it around again.  He learned how to have fun by letting go and not holding on.  Sure we play some tug-a-war but he knows that in order to get the game moving again, he has to let go of the toy.  Something I didn't teach him, at least with any command or signal, he seemed to figure it out on his own.

I wish it were that easy.

I've been trying to let go of something I've held onto for a long time.  I am like that dog with a bone, hanging on with that clamping grip.  I have a long ways to get to Chance's level but every day we play together he reminds me that it can be done.  Little by little I've been able to unclench my fist and begin to let go.  Thankfully Chance is quite patient with me and is more than willing to show how he does it!  He knows the secret.  When you let go, that's when you really get to play!



How is your dog at letting go of things?  How are you?

Brut Magic

I had one of the best walks ever with Brut today!  We were both so calm and lucid we just flowed together.  With a little bit of treats and a short leash we passed by a gentleman on a bike, two older children playing, and the grand daddy of them all, my neighbor down the road going up to her house with her dog! 

It was fantastic!  Brut didn't even try to lunge and make any inklings to do so!  No dirty glares.  No lowering of the head and getting in attack stance.   HUGE progress!!

He was being such a sweetheart.  He was being the dog that he is when we are alone.  Which proves he has it in him to do it. 

I'm so proud of my boy!  He made my whole day.  ☺

 I'm just full of surprises!

The Next Step of Our Challenge!

Thank you so much for your comments, suggestions and own personal stories with your dogs.  Just that alone makes me feel better and it is nice to know I'm not trying to figure this out on my own.

No one has ever asked to pet or come close to Brut.  (Gee, I wonder why!  lol)  But I want to be prepared for the possibility.  I'm using winter walking as a way to springboard for summer when more people and dogs will be out.  Plus Brut and I are working on our leash manners.  I've let him slide for the most part and have always kept tension on the leash and well, it's just getting to be too much on my shoulder and lower back.  And I'm horrible about giving in with him.  I know, if you've followed me for a me, you know I've said these words before.  lol  But really I've worked out most of the kinks with all the dogs except Brut.  And he's been responding well.

Since there are so few people out in general where we live and Brut is not socialized, it becomes a BIG deal when someone is out.  95% of the time I deviate away from other people and dogs.  Neither of us can handle it, but there are those few times where I can't and those are the ones I want to work on especially while we are having this pause of people and dogs because of winter.

I'm not expecting to change Brut, but I'd like to find a way to gain more of his attention when he's around others and maybe, now this is a long shot, but maybe find a way for Brut to tolerate other dogs just a little. A little.  Still a long way's down the road, but I can dream!  :)

This all centers on the suggestions you gave me for helping me find a way to say, no, if someone ever asked to pet or come near Brut.  I didn't realize I didn't need to give a reason.  I always felt the need to explain and I didn't know what else to say.  So now that I can take your suggestions and roll them into something I can use for Brut's sake and mine, because Lord knows I'm not going to change over night and Brut and I can work on our anxieties together.

Just your suggestions of what works for you has cut the anxiety rate and my problem in half.  Your answers make my next step workable and doable.  Thank you for responding.  I really needed to hear your words.

And I think this is what I'd like to do for Pamela's Training Challenge.  Work with Brut on better walking manners and running into people and dogs.  It's not only going to challenge him but me as well and we are quite a team when it comes to anxieties and being around people, so it will be a test for us both!

January is National Train Your Dog Month.  If you haven't heard of Pamela's Training Challenge, click on the link above to find out how you can train your dog and develop a stronger bond between the two of you.  The link will give you all the info about the challenge.      

Brut's Talking Eyes

I find it simply amazing when I’m communicating with the dogs and we are reaching each other in a language that everyone can understand.

Those times when you find that you are actually TALKING to each other.

It still blows my mind.

Like the other day hubby had just gotten home and became the center of jealousy between Brut and Zappa.  And just as Brut started to lower his head and ears, I said real quietly, “eh-huh,” and he looked at me.  Inside that quick glance I read a fountain of information, but mostly it said, “I really want to.  But I respect you.”

I swear he has the eyes of a tiger.  I always feel like I’m dealing with a wild animal when he’s in the attack mode.  Or when he throwing around his “leave me alone” attitude.

And there is nothing quite like reaching him AND getting a positive and honest response when he’s in that mode out of the respect we have for each other.

We have these kind of discussions all of the time, but it’s the times when I really need him to hear me and he listens by returning the favor that are the most precious.

Those are the times when we really see the truth in each other’s eyes   Brut’s communicative eyes have a way of keeping a hold on me.  When he is truly who he is.

And it reminds me of a Disney movie or a storybook when the dog “talks” with their body and the child knows what they are saying.  I swear sometimes I’m living a dream.  Worth every ounce of pain, blood and tears that I went through with Brut to get here.

What an awesome boy! My Brut!

the Power of One-on-One Attention

White Dog Army from White Dog Diaries Online made an important comment that I thought I would share and expand upon.

"One-on-one is so crucial especially in families with big packs."

I found it as a coping tool that when all the dogs were too much at once, I would take one and run away with them.  I still do.  I've found the best way not only for me, but the dogs as well is taking that one-on-one time with each and every one.  It's taking that quality time and giving it all to one, be it 15 minutes or an hour.  And as many of you commented on this post you felt the same way.  Having and giving that complete individual attention with each dog makes for a happier pack and makes the pack easier to manage.  

Taking that special time with one dog, they loosen up out that strong pack mentality and are a little more carefree with letting more of their true personalities show.  There's no pressure or threats or vying for your attention, they have all of you and they have no problem giving all of themselves to you.  It's in those moments and quiet time when you really bond and forge a new level of true love.  You understand each other better, there's a little more peace of mind and you embrace these secret meetings like nothing else matter but you two.  The time together is priceless and immeasurable.  It is precious and true and is so vital in staying in tune with each individual dog and the pack as a whole.  And being a solitary person, taking that one-on-one time just came natural to me when dealing with a "crowd."  It is like sharing secrets that the others will never know.  And it is those secrets you share in a look in the hustle and bustle of the pack that you know will hold true forever.     

Thank you for asking

Several of you have asked how I am doing since the incident with Brut and vet and I am OK.

I finally got something that Brut has been trying to teach me.  Lord knows I'm a slow learner, BOL! but Brut is always a patient teacher.

He has been trying to show me when he doesn't want to do something and to trust him with the why.  It happened the day the vet came to our house for heartworm test and shots.  Brut paused quite dramatically while I dangled a leash in front of him.  Just the sight should have made him do cartwheels.  He made the pause noted and then came when I called him to go out to the driveway to see the vet. He growled, then made a grab for her face while she started to draw blood.

I remembered the pause that he gave me before coming when called later while relaying the story to hubby.  But it was what happened later that night when Brut wanted a head rub from hubby, hubby kept insisting he get on the couch next to him.  Brut refused, still vying for a head rub.  I told hubby, Brut doesn't want on couch, he wants his head rubbed."  I knew the position Brut was being put in was going to have a bad outcome.  But hubby didn't listen, kept coaxing him up and so Brut finally gave and within seconds was snarling and growling at Fiona across the room in the next chair.  All Brut wanted was some attention and then go to his room.  He had no intentions for wanting to stay.

It was this pause that made me see the light of the situation that happened with the vet that day.  I wasn't angry with Brut, but I was having a hard time hearing what he was trying to say.  And he taught me something very valuable that day.

I've even see him pause in the middle of dog fight, trying to get my attention and not to react in the same manner.  And of course I did and he kept on fighting.  Like OK, if this is what you want.

Brut is molding me to what he needs.  And I am doing the same with him.  And the more I realize he is listening to me, the more I'd better start listening to him.

We bonded a little bit more this past weekend.  Another secret into the world of Brut unlocked.  I am always awestruck when I realize he's trying to get my attention, and I finally "get it."

   Changing lives two at a time